tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18919383655081651472024-03-13T13:19:12.236-07:00Popped DensityThe pop culture confessions of a she-nerd.Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.comBlogger321125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-30627912814633110412012-05-18T12:29:00.000-07:002012-05-18T12:31:35.937-07:00Jordyn Does the Best Picture Winners: Mrs. Miniver (1942)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG0P2SSv5n41R6EyUlNmtA24Wvuq7FR4WMExPz8yGROjN-6EnVBdmYsLAZa7yGRDQsvVPBUf_TNR3cFWw11S1M6qa2reIeb4_l3ECcYd7E6fvNnJS38XmIURXiGQYYdkRtHmozzPainFw/s1600/mrs_miniver.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG0P2SSv5n41R6EyUlNmtA24Wvuq7FR4WMExPz8yGROjN-6EnVBdmYsLAZa7yGRDQsvVPBUf_TNR3cFWw11S1M6qa2reIeb4_l3ECcYd7E6fvNnJS38XmIURXiGQYYdkRtHmozzPainFw/s400/mrs_miniver.jpg" width="257" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Let's talk about war movies for a second. <br /><br />Wars are generally (and have historically been) fought by men. War movies are generally (and have historically been) about men, not to mention written by men, directed by men, and, please excuse my sexist attitude, <i>enjoyed </i>by men. That is why it is always refreshing to me--as a woman, don't forget!--to find a movie that has a backdrop of war with a female protagonist. Now, I know there are war movies that feature women beyond the roles of mother/wife/girlfriend or nurse, like <i>Courage Under Fire</i> and obviously any movie about Joan of Arc. But that's not what I'm talking about.<br /><br />I'm talking about the home front. How do women survive during war time? Obviously, in these liberated times, women would be perfectly capable of surviving, so I am referring to ye olden days. And, quite obviously, women of yore were able to survive or else we wouldn't be here. But how? Luckily, fiction has presented us with a scattered few examples.<a href="http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1891938365508165147" style="color: #127509; text-decoration: none;" title="Srsly can only think of Gone With the Wind and Cold Mountain.">*</a><br /><br />A mere three years ago in the history of Oscar, we saw how Scarlett O'Hara dealt with those damn Yankees ravaging Georgia and now, in 1942, we watch how another woman copes with an enemy attack on her beloved homeland.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />If you happened to catch the first half hour or so of <i>Mrs. Miniver</i>, you wouldn't have the slightest inclination that it's is a war film. It begins much like a 1950's sitcom; The Minivers are an upper-middle class British family living in the suburbs. Kay Miniver (Greer Garson) is a housewife with a fondness for couture hats. She loves her architect husband, Clem (Walter Pidgeon), and he loves her. They have three children, Toby (Christopher Severn), Judy (Clare Sandars), and an elder son Vin (Richard Ney) who has just returned from his first term at Oxford with a intellectual chip on his shoulder. On his first night home, he insults Carol Beldon (Teresa Wright), the pretty, nubile granddaughter of the aristocratic (re: snobbish) Lady Beldon (Dame May Whitty). But the youngsters overcome their differences and fall in love at a dance...and then World War II starts. Vin joins the Royal Air Force. Clem helps with the Dunkirk evacuation. And lovely, glowing Mrs. Miniver--to put it bluntly--deals with it.</span><br />
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<i>Mrs. Miniver</i> is based on a series of newspaper articles written by Jan Struther for the British newspaper, <i>The Times</i>. According the Wikipedia, the articles were about the daily, suburban life of the fictional Mrs. Miniver. However, after the outbreak of WWII, the tone of the articles changed as the heroine was forced to deal with air raids and bomb shelters. And to directly quote Wikipedia, because I am apparently too lazy to paraphrase and have too much a conscience to plagiarize:</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: inherit;"><i>The U.S. was still officially neutral, but as war with Nazi Germany intensified in Europe, the tribulations of the Miniver family engaged the sympathy of the American public sufficiently that President Franklin D. Roosevelt credited it for hastening America's involvement in the war.</i></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Just short of 6 months after the attack on Pearl Harbor, <i>Mrs. Miniver</i> was released to the theaters.<br /><br />So yeah, the film is pretty propaganda-esque: men should go fight, women should do what they can, freedom is worth fighting for, etcetera, etcetera. But should we throw it away? No, there is lots of good stuff here and many memorable scenes, including one where a wounded German pilot breaks in casa de Miniver. I can't help but make a comparison to <i>Gone With the Wind</i> here; in a similar scene, Scarlett boldly shoots the Yankee straggler in the face and takes his money. In <i>MM</i>, Kay is much more diplomatic and calls the police after she takes the passed out Nazi's pistol. Naturally, We want women more like Mrs. Miniver rather than that haughty O'Hara girl. Neither cries in the corner in the face of danger, but one keeps her feminine cool and grace and doesn't violate the sixth commandment. Hmmmm...now what does this say about women during WWII?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Sorry. Didn't mean to go all Feminist Film Theory 101 on you. And sorry to bring up <i>Gone With the Wind again</i>. This isn't about comparing the Best Picture Winners, damn it!<br /><br />In all honesty, I'm pretty conflicted about <i>Mrs. Miniver</i>. At times I was really enjoying myself and invested in the story and other times I was just annoyed by one thing or another--such as Vin's characterization and horrendous British accent. <i>Yeesh</i>. What I took away from the whole experience was how the war was really happening in England. Duh, you say. Anyone who took U.S. History would know that, you say. Of course I <i>knew</i> that, but my thick American head never really <i>thought </i>about it. Thank you, Mrs. Miniver. If you do nothing else, you've helped me complete a high school history education.<br /><br />What really baffles me is the film's 1942 release date. 1942. That was only halfway through the war for England. There were <i>three more years of war</i>, and of course, the world had no way of knowing how long it would go on. There is no real conclusion to <i>Mrs. Miniver</i> and how can there be? All though a buttload of stuff has already happened to the family, a buttload more will happen. Perhaps even young Judy and Toby will be sent to live with professor in the country and find a magical portal to another world. But until then, the Minivers and all the people of the Britain, must keep holding on, and not stop believing and fight the good fight until the bitter end.<br /><br />Ah, <i>Mrs. Miniver</i>. How little I actually wrote about you. Whatever. This isn't one I really care about so you're lucky got this much out of me.<br /><br />Peace.<br /><br /><u>Impressions circa 2004</u><br />Negative. I <i>really</i> hated this one for reasons I can no longer remember or even guess at.<br /><br /><u>Other Nominations and Wins</u><br />(bold represents win)</span></div>
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<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Best Director - William Wyler </b></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Best Actor</i> - Walter Pidgeon </span></li>
<li><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Best Actress</i> - Greer Garson </span></b></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Best Supporting Actor </i>- Henry Travers </span></li>
<li><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Best Supporting Actress</i> - Teresa Wright</span></b></li>
<li><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Best Adapted Screenplay </span></b></i></li>
<li><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Best Cinematography, Black and White</b> </span></i></li>
<li><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Best Film Editing </span></i></li>
<li><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Best Sound Recording </span></i></li>
<li><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Best Visual Effects </span></i></li>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /><u>1942 Best Picture Nominees</u><br /><i>(bold represents films I have seen...followed by my opinion in 10 words or less.) </i></span><br />
<ul>
<li><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The Invaders </span></i></li>
<li><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Kings Row </span></i></li>
<li><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The Magnificent Ambersons </span></i></li>
<li><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The Pied Piper </span></i></li>
<li><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The Pride of the Yankees </span></i></li>
<li><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Random Harvest </span></i></li>
<li><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The Talk of the Town </span></i></li>
<li><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Wake Island </span></i></li>
<li><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Yankee Doodle Dandy </span></i></li>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /><u>What I Learned From...<i>Mrs. Miniver</i></u><br /><i>War affects everyone, even women.</i></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxjJeVFc7xFjY-lKPOKK0HYMirYFMcqM77uTzLiC6V_6a3BJ_wlVaktt3fkFNpSOGarltDpJn30RTvo6XuH_HXEbrsR2mbmAzYQOoG2j6AGenwp_s8abqwtE2I4IZq1JFIEaiqfrUdGW0/s1600/MrsMiniverGarsonWright.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxjJeVFc7xFjY-lKPOKK0HYMirYFMcqM77uTzLiC6V_6a3BJ_wlVaktt3fkFNpSOGarltDpJn30RTvo6XuH_HXEbrsR2mbmAzYQOoG2j6AGenwp_s8abqwtE2I4IZq1JFIEaiqfrUdGW0/s1600/MrsMiniverGarsonWright.jpg" /></span></a></div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-23169301020598182502012-05-11T19:41:00.001-07:002012-05-11T20:05:12.868-07:00Jordyn Does the Best Picture Winners: How Green Was My Valley (1941)<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">OMFG!!!! <i>HOW GREEN WAS MY VALLEY</i> BEAT <i>CITIZEN KANE</i> FOR BEST PICTURE IN 1941!!!!!</span></b><br />
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Just thought you all should know. <br />
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See, that's pretty much all anyone knows about this film. Instead of dilly-dallying around it, I thought I'd shout it to the internet rooftops just in case you thought I wouldn't address it. Now I've addressed it. And now we can move on because we are not here to compare and contrast two films, we are here to dissect the winner which was <i>How Green Was My Valley</i>, no matter how badly the Academy and fans of the Oscars wishes it wasn't.<br />
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1941's winner is a simple little film about a simple little family who lives in a simple little mining town in Southern Wales. Huw Morgan (Roddy McDowall) is the youngest child of patriarch Gwilym (Donald Crisp) and devoted Beth (Sara Allgood). Huw has five elder brothers who work in the coal mines with their father and one elder sister, Angharad (Maureen O'Hara) who helps her mother. Over the course of the film, the elder Morgan brothers form a union, Huw and his mother become ill, and Angharad falls in love with the new preacher Mr. Gruffyd (Walter Pidgeon). Despite Huw's aptitude for learning, he refuses a scholarship at the university in favor of working in the mines and supporting his brother's widow Bronwyn (Anna Lee).<br />
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<i>How Green Was My Valley</i> is a good movie. It is an even better <i>1940's</i> movie, which is my polite way of saying that it don't age so well. It's just so heartfelt and sincere with it's message of family, religion, and tradition--hallmarks of golden age Hollywood. But there is some darkness and realism here. (It <i>is</i> a John Ford picture and not a Frank Capra one, thank God). Due to the film being narrated by adult Huw who is looking back through the rose colored glasses of that bitch Nostalgia, the darkness and realism seem a bit diluted. Huw's youth and innocence makes everything seem less harsh than it really is. If <i>HGWMV</i> was made in the 1970's, I would say the film suffers for it. But this is 1941. The Hays Code rules the roost and it canít ever get really that dark. But it tries. For 1941 it tries. (That being said, I'm not sure how dark the 1939 Richard Llewellyn novel is in comparison).<br />
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Honestly, the best part of the movie for me is Angharad's tragic romance with the preacher, Mr. Gruffyd. And it really is tragic because they can be together. Mr. Gruffyd is not a priest. He can get married but he tells Anharad that he wonít have her living the somber, pinchpenny life of a preacherís wife. She settles for the son of the mine owner and has a miserable existence henceforth. Unfortunately this little romance is just a slice of the <i>HGWMV</i> pie. A small slice that maybe takes up twenty minutes of the running time. I wish it was longer. I wish it was the whole movie.<br />
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And that's pretty much all I can say. As I conclude this far too short review, I would like to reiterate what a good film <i>How Green Was My Valley</i> is. It deserves a fair shake. It's not for everybody, myself included. I don't think I'll be watching it again for a <i>loooonnnngggg</i> time. But it is not a bad film and one of the better winners from the first third of Oscar's history. Just give it a chance. At the very least, you can make an educated argument on why <i>Citizen Kane</i> was robbed.<br />
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<u>Impressions circa 2004</u><br />
Meh.<br />
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<u>Other Nominations and Wins</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(bold represents win)</span></i> <br />
<ul>
<li><b><i>Best Director</i> - John Ford </b></li>
<li><b><i>Best Supporting Actor</i> - Donald Crisp </b></li>
<li><i>Best Supporting Actress</i> - Sara Allgood </li>
<li><i>Best Adapted Screenplay</i> </li>
<li><i><b>Best Cinematography, Black and White </b></i></li>
<li><i><b>Best Art Direction, Black and White</b> </i></li>
<li><i>Best Film Editing </i></li>
<li><i>Best Sound Recording </i></li>
<li><i>Best Music, Original Score </i></li>
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<u>1941 Best Picture Nominees</u><br />
<i>(bold represents films I have seen...followed by my opinion in 10 words or less.) </i><br />
<ul>
<li><i>Blossoms in the Dust</i> </li>
<li><b><i>Citizen Kane</i> - The greatest movie of all time? I liked it fine. </b></li>
<li><i>Here Comes Mr. Jordan </i></li>
<li><i>Hold Back the Dawn </i></li>
<li><i>The Little Foxes </i></li>
<li><i>The Maltese Falcon </i></li>
<li><i>One Foot in Heaven </i></li>
<li><i>Sergeant York </i></li>
<li><i>Suspicion </i></li>
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<u>What I Learned From...<i>How Green Was My Valley</i></u><br />
<i>Ah, the good old days when times were bad...</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_5p-6kNtnfufUu6MkD1MmlH4X-nBaumJwNmG1IdrY7RO8hUPM2JVMBFMoPQ4pTcG3OMpkU9VGaTBb7HQi_o0XwdZPWXn7Wqmwgg-DwrVOUy67JkZIzMJct3D5bQ1YygK2pgFcQeu95WM/s1600/how-green-was-my-valley-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="254" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_5p-6kNtnfufUu6MkD1MmlH4X-nBaumJwNmG1IdrY7RO8hUPM2JVMBFMoPQ4pTcG3OMpkU9VGaTBb7HQi_o0XwdZPWXn7Wqmwgg-DwrVOUy67JkZIzMJct3D5bQ1YygK2pgFcQeu95WM/s320/how-green-was-my-valley-2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-14233787442827281552012-05-10T15:01:00.001-07:002012-05-10T15:23:56.479-07:00Jordyn Does the Best Picture Winners: Rebecca (1940)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
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Anything would seem like small beans coming after <i>Gone With the Wind</i>. Anything. But 1939, the reputed greatest year in American cinema, inevitably had to give way to 1940. So here we are at the beginning of a new decade. Oscar is now thirteen years old and the winner is <i>Rebecca</i>, an Alfred Hitchcock helmed picture based on Daphne du Maurier's 1938 novel of the same name.<br />
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Plot synopsis, like a boss: Joan Fontaine plays an innocent (and never named) young woman who is the paid companion of a wealthy old dowager (Florence Bates). While on vacation in Monte Carlo with said dowager, the young woman meets Maxim de Winter (Laurence Olivier) a wealthy widower and the owner of the ancient and noble estate of Manderley. The pair marry after a whirlwind courtship and the "second Mrs. de Winter" finds running a large household far more difficult than she imagined. The housekeeper, Mrs. Danvers (Judith Anderson), is devoted to Maxim's first wife, the titular and seemingly perfect Rebecca and makes the second Mrs. de Winter wrestle with her feelings of inadequacy.<br />
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I could probably write a very thoughtful and insightful analysis of this film, but not without spoiling it. I won't, despite the fact that <i>Rebecca</i> is, like totally, 72 years old. My review will suffer for it, surely. So here are some what I can mention: I like the film. Best Picture Winners based around females and especially feminine neurosis are exceptionally rare. Off the top of my head, there's <i>Gone With the Wind</i>, <i>Rebecca</i>,<i> All About Eve</i>, and <i>Terms of Endearment</i>, but let's not go down that rabbit hole. </div>
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Yes, yes, I liked it even though it had a little bit of a genre identity crises. The first act is sort of like a rom-com with an edge. The second act is full-on gothic romance, and the most interesting part of the movie for me. Overall, I would have preferred an 19th century setting vs. the 30's/40's because...um, who wouldn't? And the last act treads into mystery/detective territory. After the twist is revealed (It's Hitchcock. There's a twist) I sort of lose interest. That isn't to say the twist is boring or unmerited, it just transforms the film from a emotionally/psychologically driven story to an externally conflicted one. And me no so much like external conflict.<br />
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Bitch, bitch, bitch. <i>Rebecca</i> is really, pretty good. Notice I said "pretty good" which basically means, good with a "but..." While reading other bloggers' reviews of this one, everyone pretty much likes it but... My "but" is, as stated above, the third act. Others are let down by...stuff? There just seems to be a vague disappointment surrounding <i>Rebecca</i>. Perhaps it's because people expect something more from a Hitchcock film. (Confession: I have only seen<i> Vertigo</i> and <i>Psycho</i> so I'm not sure what they want).<br />
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Um...what else?<br />
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Oh, yes. Mrs. Danvers. <br />
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Mrs. Danvers is an infamous character. One of the "greatest villains of all time" according to the hacks at the American Film Institute. It is strongly suggested that Mrs. Danvers is a lesbian and that she has a big ol' lesbian crush on Rebecca. Gay stereotypes in Hollywood have just as rich of a history as those of blacks and other minorities. Post Hays Code, gays were allowed on screen but usually as villains. It is not Mrs. Danvers' reputed homosexuality that directly makes her a villain, it is her obsessive nature. I feel that Mrs. Danvers would attempt to destroy anyone--man, woman, or child--who attempted to replace her fallen idol--man, woman, or child.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #2c700a; font-family: inherit; text-decoration: none;"><a href="http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1891938365508165147" style="color: #2c700a; text-decoration: none;" title="Or, for you Simpsons fans out there, just imagine if Mr. Burns died and Waylon Smithers had to serve under someone else. Now imagine if Smithers tried to convince his new boss to jump off the cooling tower of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.">*</a></span><br />
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Another thing: Mrs. Danvers seems strictly Rebecca-sexual and is never seen coming on to other women or our heroine. Food for thought.<br />
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Ultimately, <i>Rebecca</i> is probably just one of those middling Best Picture Winners. But it's one that I like and look forward to watching again when I inevitably re-rank these movies in the next decade. Having seen only one other BP nominee from this year, I am sort of surprised that <i>Rebecca</i> snagged the Oscar. I mean, it's just sort of girly and I don't understand how all of Hollywood (re: the Academy) could be that taken by it. (I also heard somewhere that the Oscar lobbying for this movie was insane.)</div>
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P.S. I want to watch Laurence Olivier act some more.<br />
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<u>Impressions circa 2004</u><br />
Positive. Love triangle with a dead woman? Yes, please.<br />
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<u>Other Nominations and Wins</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(bold represents win) </span></i><br />
<ul>
<li><i>Best Director </i>- Alfred Hitchcock </li>
<li><i>Best Actor</i> - Laurence Olivier </li>
<li><i>Best Actress</i> - Joan Fontaine </li>
<li><i>Best Supporting Actress</i> - Judith Anderson </li>
<li><i>Best Adapted Screenplay </i></li>
<li><b><i>Best Cinematography, Black and White </i></b></li>
<li><i>Best Art Direction, Black and White </i></li>
<li><i>Best Special Effects </i></li>
<li><i>Best Film Editing </i></li>
<li><i>Best Music, Original Score </i></li>
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<u>1940 Best Picture Nominees</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(bold represents films I have seen...followed by my opinion in 10 words or less.) </span></i><br />
<ul>
<li><i>All This and Heaven, Too </i></li>
<li><i>Foreign Correspondent </i></li>
<li><i><b>The Grapes of Wrath</b> - </i>Boy, that Depression sure was depressing.<i> </i></li>
<li><i>The Great Dictator </i></li>
<li><i>Kitty Foyle </i></li>
<li><i>The Letter </i></li>
<li><i>The Long Voyage Home </i></li>
<li><i>Our Town </i></li>
<li><i>The Philadelphia Story </i></li>
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<u>What I Learned From...<i>Rebecca</i></u><br />
<i>There's always someone before you--for better or worse.</i><br />
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</div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-5418604236325816522012-05-07T21:00:00.000-07:002012-05-10T09:56:58.762-07:00Jordyn Does the Best Picture Winners Decade Wrap-Up: 1928-1939<i>After a semi-long hiatus, I am semi-back with a semi-vengeance! In honor of finally posting my Gone With the Wind review--the last Best Picture Winner of the 30's--I figured I'd take a look back and offer my Jerry Springer-esque final thoughts on the decade (and the two 1920's winners). I'll also put up some fun (re: boring) statistics as well as my ranking so far.</i><br /><br /><u>Thoughts on 1928-1939</u><br />Well...it was sort of a mish-mash, wasn't it? That has to be expected. I mean, Oscar was just learning to walk, of course he would stumble a bit. The first five years were particularly jarring, going from pretty good film to bad film to great film to bad film to pretty good film...at least in my opinion. After the "January 1 to December 31" switch, things got a little more steady but I can't point out any definite patterns of this twelve year stretch and so, I don't really have much to say. (Wow, this wasn't really thought out, was it?) I will say this about the decade: it holds some of the very worst winners in Oscar's 84 years and one of the very, very best. Perhaps the best ever? Hmmm...there's still 72 movies to watch. Maybe I shouldn't make judgements yet.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4AYzgiqvHGUcDZCd1GfrHTqG6WzYOASbGGv0Zh8bi80Xj6GAbKMcDSsMFfaS8Us_sBIQSraMCij52pT3dr0AAuoD1-eicyQ7UE6l9eBMIp3LbyxviY1wjOUmiJz5-cWc9JbmOER04TmE/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-05-04+at+8.37.46+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4AYzgiqvHGUcDZCd1GfrHTqG6WzYOASbGGv0Zh8bi80Xj6GAbKMcDSsMFfaS8Us_sBIQSraMCij52pT3dr0AAuoD1-eicyQ7UE6l9eBMIp3LbyxviY1wjOUmiJz5-cWc9JbmOER04TmE/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-05-04+at+8.37.46+PM.png" /></a></div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-43698516886040304862012-05-04T15:59:00.001-07:002012-05-04T16:48:37.429-07:00Jordyn Does the Best Picture Winners: Gone With the Wind (1939)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Christ, where to start? Where to start? Um, <i>Gone With the Wind</i> is a huge fucking deal. Everything you would ever want to know about it is already out there, floating around in cyberspace. There are thousands, maybe even millions of reviews on this film that discuss its lengthy search for a lead actress, its tumultuous production with multiple directors, and its highest grossing movie adjusted for inflation-ness. And maybe I should write about all that, but frankly my dear, I don't give damn. YOU'VE heard it before and I'M not interested in rehashing common movie knowledge.<br /><br />Let me state here and now that <i>Gone With the Wind</i> is one of my favorite, <b><u><i>favorite</i></u></b> movies of all time; easily in my top ten it is. But for this Best Picture winner retrospective I'm going to work my little ass off to not just gush and gush or get sentimental and personal. Therefore, this review might seem a little clinical. But fear not, dear readers, for one day I will write another post for my neglected <b>Jordyn's Favorite Movies</b> series. That will most likely be years in the future so this will have to do for now.<br /><br /><i>Gone With the Wind</i> is based on Margaret Mitchell's Pulitzer Prize winning (our second of four Pulitzer Prize winning source material BP's) and only novel of the same name. Picture it: April 1861. The gorgeous southern cotton plantation of Tara. Raven haired southern belle Scarlett O'Hara (Vivien Leigh) shamelessly flirts with a pair of twins and learns beloved neighbor boy Ashley Wilkes (Leslie Howard) is going to announce his engagement to his sweet and mousy cousin, Melanie Hamilton (Olivia de Havilland), at the barbecue the following day. This simply won't do for Scarlett. She decides to confess her long simmering love for Ashley hoping he will redact his marriage agreement with Melanie. He does not. In fact he rejects her outright and dashing rogue Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) overhears the entire episode, much to Scarlett's humiliation. Then the War Between the States is declared and Scarlett marries Melanie's brother Charles (Rand Brooks) to get back at Ashley and tie herself to Melanie.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
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...it goes on. For twelve years. The important thing to remember is Scarlett loves Ashley who loves Melanie who loves Ashley. However, Ashley is sexually attracted to Scarlett but wants to remain loyal to his wife. Meanwhile Rhett is hot for Scarlett (and loves her too) and she refuses to admit or recognize her mutual feelings for him. She also marries two men she does not love during the course of the film: the aforementioned Charles Hamilton and Frank Kennedy (Carroll Nye), both of who had their own sweethearts...Also, a prostitute named Belle Watling (Ona Munson) is in love with Rhett.<br />
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You know what? Here's a graph:<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
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Yep, sort of like an episode of <i>Jerry Springer</i>. Despite all the war and slavery and cotton picking and carpet baggers, at its heart, <i>GWTW</i> is the tale of a love quadrangle...or more accurately, a love nonagan, but for all intents and purposes a quadrangle; two men and two women, hopelessly trapped in a mish-mash of feelings and complicated relationships. (And if you want to get more bare bones, it's the story of a woman loving the wrong man for twelve years...but let's not get into that.)<br />
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I could <i>endlessly</i> discuss these relationships: Rhett's hatred towards Ashley, his respect for Melanie. Melanie's blind love to Scarlett and her acceptance of Rhett. Ashley's indifference for Rhett and burning desire for Scarlett. And then Scarlett's misguided "love" for Ashley and utter ignorance towards Rhett and her hatred, respect, adoration, and love for Melanie. As monumental as <i>Gone With the Wind</i> is as technical achievement, I cannot, for the life of me, fathom why anyone would want to watch it if they didn't care about the petty romantic entanglements. Honestly, that is what drives the film. For your sake, dear reader, I will stop here and go onto something less emotional. Besides, I need to save something for my other review.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
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<i>Gone With the Wind </i>is often accused of romanticizing the Old South and it is, of course, guilty. Hell, even the opening title card wistfully states: <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13;">There was a land of Cavaliers and Cotton Fields called the Old South. Here in this pretty world, Gallantry took its last bow. Here was the last ever to be seen of Knights and their Ladies Fair, of Master and of Slave. Look for it only in books, for it is no more than a dream remembered, a Civilization gone with the wind...</span></i></blockquote>
But answer me this: What historical film <i>doesn't</i> romanticize its time period? <br />
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That rebuttal doesn't suffice, I know, because <i>Gone With the Wind</i> involves issues of <b><u><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">RACE</span></i></u></b>.<br />
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I am pro-<i>GWTW</i> so am totally going to defend it. But first and foremost, just in case there is any confusion: We at <b><i>Popped Density</i></b> and all its subsidiaries and affiliates believe slavery is wrong. Subjugation of anyone is wrong. But it happened. That can't be helped now, and I would rather have a movie that presents slavery in all its nastiness than have a movie that ignores it. It's important to note that <i>GWTW</i> is not told from the slaves' perspective, nor is it even about the slaves. It is about Scarlett O'Hara and her endeavors, romantic and non-romantic. I like to think the portrayal of said slaves is how Scarlett would have seen them, for better or worse. But, that is just my little ol' interpretation and perhaps not that of David O. Selznick & Co.<br />
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The character of Prissy (Butterfly McQueen) is brought up time and time again, so let's address her, shall we? Prissy, for those of you who haven't seen this movie, is fucking irritating and a perfectly horrendous example of stereotypical 1930's race representation. Earlier in the film, Prissy claims she knows how to assist in childbirth and that she will help Scarlett deliver Melanie's baby. The day comes when Melanie goes into labor and it turns out Prissy "don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies" so Scarlett smacks her.<br />
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This scene is <i>always</i> shown or discussed out of context and I am here to defend Scarlett's actions because:<br />
<ol>
<li>Prissy outright lied for no discernible reason.</li>
<li>This is the 1860's. Childbirth is a matter of life and death. Without proper knowledge of the process, both Melanie her baby could die.</li>
<li>THERE'S A FUCKING WAR GOING ON OUTSIDE!!! ATLANTA IS IN THE MIDST OF A SEIGE!</li>
<li>Scarlett smacks everyone; Ashley, Rhett, her sister Suellen, and she beats that poor horse to death on her way home to Tara.</li>
</ol>
Sorry for the digression, but I felt the need to delve into that scene a little deeper. Prissy had it coming, young or old, black or white, male or female, I don't care. I would have smacked her too.<br />
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ANYWAY, most everyone agrees that Prissy is a dark spot (no pun intended) in the world of <i>Gone With the Wind</i>. On the other hand, people often praise Mammy and specifically the performance of Hattie McDaniel. Once again, I am here to make a rebuttal. <br />
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Hattie McDaniel, the first ever minority actor to win an Oscar. For some reason, people lurvvve this performance and I don't understand why. Really. I just don't. To me it is not that special. Unlike Prissy, Mammy has a personality and intelligence and heart. She is a good character, but at the same time, she is a stock character who, thanks to <i>GWTW</i>'s epic length, gets a lot of screen time. Before and after <i>GWTW</i>, McDaniel continued to play similar characters including a role in Disney's infamous <i>Song of the South</i>.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqzCdnjvjsM3GzgSmbBmlK8S3qhObscJIsd1z50f5WeuUKXfIDxatAynQQZPTOhGEfqfRjvhZXgf1007WwlkxPfFhL52Mx3tSQdmXZmF6e4sL7LdmkRsbTTU1xeXIL-L5G9ibQXej3uTI/s1600/mammies.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="140" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqzCdnjvjsM3GzgSmbBmlK8S3qhObscJIsd1z50f5WeuUKXfIDxatAynQQZPTOhGEfqfRjvhZXgf1007WwlkxPfFhL52Mx3tSQdmXZmF6e4sL7LdmkRsbTTU1xeXIL-L5G9ibQXej3uTI/s400/mammies.png" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">1. Mom Beck in <i>The Little Colonel</i> (1935) </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">2. Mammy in <i>Gone With the Wind</i> (1939) </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">3. Aunt Tempy in <i>Song of the South</i> (1946)</span></td></tr>
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I could be off-base with this but I've always seen McDaniel's Oscar win as a way of white Hollywood rewarding a black actress who "knows her place"; playing slaves and maids who's sole purpose is to serve her white superiors with no thoughts of her own unmentioned family. I wouldn't say that's all the Oscar is for. Hattie McDaniel does the best with what she is given but I certainly don't think it's better than Olivia de Havilland's turn as Melanie or even Geraldine Fitzgerald in <i>Wuthering Heights</i>...but that's an argument for another day<a href="" style="color: #0d6122; text-decoration: none;" title="FYI, I also feel the same thing applies to James Baskett's Honorary Oscar for his able and heart-warming characterization of Uncle Remus, friend and story teller to the children of the world in Walt Disney's Song of the South.">*</a>.<br />
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So, Racism was just a part of 1930's America. Naturally, it would show up in the films of the day. But many ask why and how <i>Gone With the Wind,</i> with its romanticized Old South, can still be so popular in our enlightened, politically correct society?<br />
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There is no definitive answer to this, but here's my theory: Before and even after the Civil Rights Movement, Hollywood has made several films/television miniseries that turned the antebellum south into the United States' medieval stand-in. See, American history is just not "romantic" or "regal" in the way European history is. We have no royalty. We have no nobility. America was made up of the descendants of boring puritan stock or rebel upstarts wanting to get away from all that British stuffery. For whatever reason, the South became the site of those wanting to preserve some of the Honor and Finery of Europe. As the North became industrialized and the West remained wild (for a bit), the South represented constancy and civility. Things just weren't changing down there, much like the millennium long stagnancy of the Middle Ages.<br />
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Humanity is inherently nostalgic for some reason. As Rhett Butler says, "I've always had a weakness for lost causes once they're really lost." And that's it. The Old South is gone and it will never come back. That's a good thing, all things considered. People just want what they can't have so instead of enslaving an entire race and living off their misery again, we can simply pop in a film and pretend for a few hours. You could also make the argument about the South suffering and rising from the ashes. Because you know how we all love to see Humpty Dumpty fall and try to put himself back together again.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
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I'll end this review with one last thing that is unrelated to most everything I've written above. Whilst watching <i>GWTW</i>, I was delighted by the whole story being in one movie. That seems like an obvious statement, but in this age of <i>Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1</i>, <i>The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2</i>, and <i>The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey</i>, I couldn't help but be a bit comforted by the simplicity of it all. Oh, to live in a time when they made you stay at the theater for four hours straight...Oh, to live in a time of Overtures, Intermissions, and Exit Music...Oh, to live in a time when you didn't have to wait a whole year to see the conclusion of a movie...Alas, look for it only in old movies, for it is no more than a dream remembered, a format gone with the wind...<br />
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<u>My First Time With...<i>Gone With the Wind</i></u><br />
I was 10 years old. I had recently moved to lovely Oakesdale, Washington. My dear mother bought it for some reason so I watched it. I loved it immediately and drew pictures of Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler in her green muslin dress instead of doing my fractions.<br />
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<u>Other Nominations and Wins</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(bold represents win) </span></i><br />
<ul>
<li><b><i>Best Director</i> - Victor Fleming </b></li>
<li><i>Best Actor</i> - Clark Gable </li>
<li><b><i>Best Actress</i> - Vivien Leigh</b></li>
<li><i>Best Supporting Actress</i> - Olivia de Havilland </li>
<li><b><i>Best Supporting Actress</i> - Hattie McDaniel </b></li>
<li><i><b>Best Adapted Screenplay </b></i></li>
<li><i><b>Best Cinematography, Color </b></i></li>
<li><i><b>Best Film Editing </b></i></li>
<li><i><b>Best Visual Effects </b></i></li>
<li><i><b>Best Art Direction </b></i></li>
<li><i>Best Original Score </i></li>
<li><i>Best Sound Recording </i></li>
</ul>
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<u>1939 Best Picture Nominees</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(bold represents films I have seen...followed by my opinion in 10 words or less.) </span></i><br />
<ul>
<li><i>Dark Victory </i></li>
<li><i>Goodbye, Mr. Chips </i></li>
<li><i>Love Affair </i></li>
<li><i>Mr. Smith Goes to Washington </i></li>
<li><i>Ninotchka </i></li>
<li><i>Of Mice and Men </i></li>
<li><i>Stagecoach </i></li>
<li><b><i>The Wizard of Oz</i> - </b>A part of everyone's childhood which transcends Oscar.</li>
<li><i style="font-weight: bold;">Wuthering Heights </i>- <i>GWTW</i>'s black and white lil' sis. </li>
</ul>
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<u>What I Learned From...<i>Gone With the Wind</i></u><br />
<i>Like minded people should be together.</i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>I know I didn't really get into this lesson, because it's more of a "Jordyn's Favorite Movies" argument, but Scarlett O'Hara would have had a much easier life if she realized the right man was in front of her all along.</i></span></div>
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</div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-31501458480548014642012-04-05T21:18:00.003-07:002012-04-05T21:18:45.566-07:00An Important Note From Your Blogstress...get it? It's kinda like "mistress" only clever in the way that <i>The Big Bang Theory</i> is clever.<br />
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I have good news and bad news!<br />
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Good news: I have a job and will be moving out of my parents' basement in June. YAY INDEPENDENCE AND MONEY!!!<br />
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Bad news: God knows when I will get internet at my new apartment. As you've noticed, I haven't posted anything in a while because I'm getting into the work groove, blah, blah, blah. It bothers me more than it bothers you, I'm sure.<br />
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Good news 2.0: I FULLY INTEND on continuing this blog and finishing all of its neglected series and especially my Best Picture Winner one. I have watched Gone With the Wind and have been slaving away (too soon?) on a post that isn't all personal n' junk. It's a huge film. After that one, it gets way easier until the 90's when I will become stalled again with the glorious films of that decade.<br />
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Just wanted everyone to know that I am not dead and I haven't joined a cult.<br />
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Peace,<br />
Jordyn<br />
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Also...<br />
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I have a fever and the only prescription is more bow tie.Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-53528662325678955082012-03-15T00:31:00.000-07:002012-03-15T00:31:55.949-07:00Jordyn Does the Best Picture Winners: You Can't Take It With You (1938)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
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On this trip through the Best Picture winners, I have made a distinct effort to watch each film with a positive attitude. (It would be a long fucking trip if I didn't). In the past I would dismiss certain films not on whether they were actually good or not but on my own tragically 16-year-old opinion. Luckily my change of heart concerning <i>All Quiet on the Western Front</i> has helped immensely. At this point I may find <i>Lawrence of Arabia</i> to be my new favorite movie<a href="http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1891938365508165147" style="color: #228739; text-decoration: none;" title="Nah, that won't happen.">*</a>. With other films like <i>The Life of Emile Zola</i>, I can find good points that make the film worth watching. Or sometimes I can get a cheap thrill from the novel badness of a film like with <i>Cimarron </i>and <i>Cavalcade</i>.<br />
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I pretty much hit the wall last night with Frank Capra's <i>You Can't Take It With You</i>.<br />
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Capra...sigh. <br />
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I'm sort of at a loss on how to discuss this one. When in doubt, trot out the plot summary: Tony Kirby (James Stewart) is the son of the wealthy banker and is in love with his stenographer Alice Sycamore (Jean Arthur). He wishes to marry her even though she's from a lower class eccentric family: "Grandpa" Martin Vanderhof (Lionel Barrymore) was a businessman but decided he wasn't happy and became a stamp collector. Grandpa's daughter Penny Sycamore (Spring Byington) writes plays while her husband Paul (Samuel S. Hinds) makes fireworks and explosives in their cellar with live-in friend DePinna (Halliwell Hobbes). Alice's sister Essie (Ann Miller) makes candy and trains to be a ballerina under her Russian teacher Boris Kolenkhov (Mischa Auer) as her simple-minded husband Ed (Dub Taylor) sells the candy and plays the xylophone. Then there's the African-American help (Lillian Yarbo and Eddie Anderson).<br />
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Are you still with me? God, I'm so sorry. <br />
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ANYWAY, Tony and Alice want to get married but his stodgy bank president father Anthony P. Kirby (Edward Arnold) and his snobbish wife (Mary Forbes) disapprove of such a match. So Alice invites the Kirbys over to her house to show she's just as good as anyone, but Tony purposefully brings them on the wrong night when everyone is at their peak weirdness. Meanwhile, Tony's papa is working some Big Business Deal (aren't those character always?) but it--naturally--hinges on Gramps Vanderhof selling his beloved house. <br />
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So tell me, dear readers, what do you think? Do you think Grandpa will sell his house? Do you think Alice and Tony will get to live happily ever after? Do you think the avaricious Mr. Kirby will learn a valuable lesson on the importance of family and friends over money?<br />
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Well, if you're looking for spoilers, you won't find them here.<br />
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I have several problems with <i>You Can't Take It With You</i>. First of all, it's so...simple. Simple like it's meant for children. Small children. I feel too smart for this movie. After all, this a message we've heard a million times before and P.S. it was far more compelling with the Ghost of Christmas Past. Seriously, the Moral of the Story is presented so unsubtly and so often that I feel like I'm watching a Sunday morning Bible cartoon. (Although, admittedly, the film is surprisingly sparse on religion so we can be thankful for that).<br />
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Second problem: the characters. If you hadn't noticed, the characters are quirky; QUIRKY WITH A CAPITOL ₪. (Yeah, I know what I said.) Mama Sycamore uses a kitten as a paperweight. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Papa Sycamore is going to blow up the house. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Grandpa refuses to pay his income taxes because the government won't know what to do with the money. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Wait, I'm pretty sure that last one is illegal. But it doesn't matter because Grandpa is a lovable old coot! HAHAHAHAHA! Fuck the characters in this movie. Seriously, fuck 'em. (Well, not Jimmy Stewart because Jimmy Stewart is just doing Jimmy Stewart and who doesn't like Jimmy Stewart?)<br />
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What a clean, sterile world Capra presents to us. What a sexless world. Ugh. I understand America was still in the midst of the Depression and a world war was just on the horizon so escapism was desired. The problem is you can't ever really escape in the present. That's what the whole fantasy genre is for. That's why <i>The Wizard of Oz</i> did so well the following year. This saccharine representation of America is just a little too unreal for my taste. <br />
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And really, that's what it comes down to; I just don't have a taste for Capracorn. (Or should I say <i>Crap</i>acorn? HAHAHAHAHA!) What irritates me is how damn good <i>It Happened One Night</i> was just four years ago. (Although how much of the "sexiness" was owed to Clark Gable's and Claudette Colbert's own fancy is unknown. I like to think all of it.) Capra was one who embraced the Hays Code, it seems. And movies like this one lead right to his, um, masterpiece <i>It's a Wonderful Life</i>. You have to cut your teeth somewhere, I guess.<br />
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P.S. <i>You Can't Take It With You</i> is based on a play of the same name by George S. Kaufman and Moss Hart. It won the Pulitzer Prize for Drama in 1937. Think about that. <i>The Pulitzer Prize</i>.<br />
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<u>Impressions circa 2004</u><br />
Negative. Pap! Sentimental pap!<br />
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<u>Other Nominations and Wins</u><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>(<b>bold</b> represents win) </i></span><br />
<ul>
<li><b><i>Best Director </i>- Frank Capra </b></li>
<li><i>Best Supporting Actress</i> - Spring Byington </li>
<li><i>Best Adapted Screenplay </i></li>
<li><i>Best Cinematography </i></li>
<li><i>Best Sound Recording </i></li>
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<u>1938 Best Picture Nominees</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents films I have seen...followed by my opinion in 10 words or less.) </span></i><br />
<ul>
<li><i>The Adventures of Robin Hood </i></li>
<li><i>Alexander's Ragtime Band </i></li>
<li><i>Boys Town </i></li>
<li><i>The Citadel </i></li>
<li><i>Four Daughters </i></li>
<li><i>Grand Illusion </i></li>
<li><i>Jezebel </i></li>
<li><i>Pygmalion </i></li>
<li><i>Test Pilot</i> </li>
</ul>
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<u>What I Learned From...<i>You Can't Take It With You</i></u><i><br />Friends and family are more important than money.</i><br />
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<i>...duh.</i></div>
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</div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-42341012046096194662012-03-13T22:14:00.001-07:002012-03-13T22:14:24.072-07:00Jordyn Does the Best Picture Winners: The Life of Emile Zola (1937)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
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Both the title and poster of 1937's Best Picture winner is false. First, the poster makes Emile Zola look like some hard-boiled gangster or handsome private dick. That is not the case. Emile Zola is, in fact, a 19th century French author who looks like this:<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
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Secondly, this film is not a straight up biography as the title suggests. It is, in fact, 35% biography and 65% courtroom drama. The first quarter of the film explores Emile Zola's (Paul Muni) early days as a starving writer and his friendship with Post-Impressionist artist Paul Cézanne (Vladimir Sokoloff). Zola eventually publishes <u><i>Nana</i></u>, a novel about a Parisian prostitute, and becomes wealthy and respected.<br /><br />Then the film shifts its focus to Alfred Dreyfus (Joseph Schildkraut), a Jewish captain in the French army. Dreyfus is accused of treason and sentenced to prison on Devil's Island in French Guiana. Despite new evidence surfacing which would clear Dreyfus of all charges, the commanding officers decide to keep it on the down low as to not embarrass themselves and rob the French people of their faith in the army. Dreyfus's wife (Gale Sondergaard) goes to Zola for help since he has spent his life writing of injustice. Zola agrees and writes letter accusing the army of the injustice and cover up. He is accused of libel and brought to court which inevitably opens up the Dreyfus case.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
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<i>The Life of Emile Zola</i> is enjoyable in a "I-have-to-watch-this-for-Ethics-class" sort of way...well, enjoyable for the weird cinema club kids. There is nothing in this film for Johnny High School. It's so dry. Dry like Bea Arthur's cunny. Don't misunderstand me, I liked it far better this time around, but I cannot imagine why this movie was well liked enough to win Best freakin' Picture.<br /><br />Frankly the best part of the movie is Joseph Schildkraut as the victimized Alfred Dreyfus. He carried the film for me. I don't think this was the director's intention or else the movie would be called "The Dreyfus Affair" or something. That's unfortunate because I would have much preferred a whole film starring Schildkraut. Paul Muni is particularly hammy as Zola, especially in his later years which, remember, is 65% of the film. Gale Sondergaard was a bit too sensual in her role as weeping wife. (Besides she will always be Tylette from the Shirley Temple movie <i>The Blue Bird</i> for me.) Schildkraut on the other hand is dignified and understated. You feel his pain from his military insignia being stripped from his uniform to his endless, endless days on Devil's Island. Schildkraut definitely deserved his Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, although his makeup did not.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
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<i>The Life of Emile Zola </i>is a "prestige picture". It is made with intent of making you think...but about what?, I ask. The film is not morally ambiguous. The good guys are good and the bad guys are bad. We know from the very beginning--or at least anyone who's not an idiot knows--that Dreyfus is innocent. He is a victim of anti-Semitism, pure and simple. The army guys barely resist the urge to twirl their waxy mustaches. <br /><br />Earlier in the film, Zola's book <u><i>The Downfall</i></u> exposes the ineptitude of the army during the Franco-Prussian War. (GOD, THIS MOVE IS SO DRY!!!). Dreyfus's innocence is covered up so the army guys don't lose face in front of their already disillusioned public. Plus he's a Jew.<br /><br />This is a movie about anti-Semitism that doesn't have the balls to be about anti-Semitism. It tap dances around the subject. I don't even think the word "anti-Semitism" is ever uttered. One of the jerkass army guys simply points the finger at Dreyfus because his file denotes him as Jewish. (In fact, "Jewish" is also never uttered). THE WHOLE REASON THIS GUY IS IMPRISONED IS NEVER ADDRESSED. WHAT THE FUCK, MOVIE?<br /><br />Oh, but wait, this is about the Life of <u><b><i>Emile Zola</i></b></u>, not Alfred Dreyfus. Okay. That explains everything. But like I said in my review of <i>The Great Ziegfeld</i>, no one cares about the lives of boring people. Zola is boring, at least in the context of this film. The starving writer stuff was interesting but comes to a head pretty quickly. Then we head into Dreyfusland. A far more interesting movie would split the time between Zola and Dreyfus. Or maybe it would have explored the deeper causes of anti-Semitism in Third Republic France. Instead we get a movie where Bad Things Happen but for no discernible reason.<br /><br /><u>Impressions circa 2004</u><br />Negative. SOOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG.<br /><br /><u>Other Nominations and Wins</u><br /><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents win) </span></i><br /><ul>
<li><i>Best Director</i> - William Dieterle </li>
<li><i>Best Assistant Director</i> - Anton Grot </li>
<li><i>Best Actor</i> - Paul Muni </li>
<li><b><i>Best Supporting Actor</i> - Joseph Schildkraut </b></li>
<li><i><b>Best Adapted Screenplay </b></i></li>
<li><i>Best Writing, Story </i></li>
<li><i>Best Art Direction </i></li>
<li><i>Best Music, Score </i></li>
<li><i>Best Sound, Recording </i></li>
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<br /><u>1937 Best Picture Nominees</u><br /><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents films I have seen...followed by my opinion in 10 words or less.) </span></i><br /><ul>
<li><i>The Awful Truth </i></li>
<li><i>Captains Courageous </i></li>
<li><i>Dead End </i></li>
<li><i>The Good Earth </i></li>
<li><i>In Old Chicago </i></li>
<li><i><b>Lost Horizon</b> -- </i>Fanciful but needs to be in color. </li>
<li><i>One Hundred Men and Girl </i></li>
<li><i>Stage Door </i></li>
<li><i>A Star is Born </i></li>
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<br /><u>What I Learned From...<i>The Life of Emile Zola</i></u><i><br />The truth is worth fighting for.</i></div>
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</div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-84807898973321367342012-03-12T22:34:00.001-07:002012-03-12T23:00:52.475-07:00Jordyn Does the Best Picture Winners: The Great Ziegfeld (1936)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
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Ugh. And here we encounter the first of the dreaded Best Picture winning biopic. And our second musical...sort of. In just over three hours (five minutes over to be exact) we are told the life story of Florenz Ziegfeld, Jr. a relative unknown to us in the 21st century, but a big banana circa 1936. Ziegfeld was a Broadway producer mostly known for his Ziegfeld Follies: extravaganzas of singing, dancing, and girls walking around in lavish, bizarre costumes found in Lady Gaga's wettest dreams.<br />
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We meet Ziegfeld aka "Flo" (William Powell) at the 1893 Chicago World's Fair. The eager young buck spends his days promoting Sandow, the World's Strongest Man, (Nat Pendleton) while competing with his rival and frenemy Jack Billings (Frank Morgan) for business and women. From Billings, Flo learns of a beautiful French singing sensation named Anna Held (Luise Rainer). He promptly charms Anna into signing with him and makes her a respectable star on Broadway and eventually marries her. Flo finds success with his signature Follies, rescues Fanny Brice (playing herself) from Vaudeville, gives Ray Bolger (i.e. the Scarecrow from <i>The Wizard of Oz</i>, also playing himself) his big break, and attempts to make the fictitious and alcoholic Audrey Dane (Virginia Bruce) into a star. Anna becomes frustrated with Flo's "flirtations" and divorces him. He quickly remarries, this time to Billie Burke (Myrna Loy) and finds happiness and success until the stock market crash. He loses everything and dies three years later whilst remembering his greatest shows.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
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<i>The Great Ziegfeld</i> wears many hats: Biopic, Musical, Backstage Musical, Romance, Epic...but what it comes down to is a biography with some musical scenes in it. And unfortunately, the crux of it all rests on Ziegfeld and whether or not we care about him. Frankly, I don't. Not because he is a huckster and shyster, but because he is boring as a man in his private life. Supposedly, the real Ziegfeld was a notorious womanizer. The film portrays him as a flirt and flatterer, but in the face of temptation, he never falls. (That's the Hays Code shitting on history, by the way.)<br />
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The man had vision, that's for sure, and he had drive and ambition. But if we can't see the dirt, who the fuck cares? People want scandals, sex, booze, illegitimate children, drugs, mental illness, bulimia, heartbreak. No one wants see or read biographies on people who lead boring lives no matter what great art they put forth. So even if Taylor Swift is nice as pie and popular as hell, I would find a biopic about Britney Spears far more entertaining<a href="http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1891938365508165147" style="color: #0b8013; text-decoration: none;" title="Although if Taylor Swift turns out to be a lesbian or hermaphrodite or cokehead I wouldn't mind watching that movie.">*</a>.<br />
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<i>The Great Ziegfeld </i>is, really, just a chance for Louis B. Mayer to show poor, depression-era Americans how much money he can waste on sequins and feathers. It is a movie about spectacle which I guess is in tune with Ziegfeld himself; all style and no substance. The middle section of the film is very heavy on this. During the long, long, <i>long</i> tracking shot of "A Pretty Girl is Like a Melody" I had forgotten all about Ziegfeld and his personal life. We enter an entirely different movie for about 40 minutes...or at least it seems like 40 minutes.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
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All right, what else is there? Luise Rainer won Best Actress for her portrayal of Anna Held. She is an irritatingly, coquettish prima donna and I...for some reason...like her. No matter what the real Anna was like, this Anna is a precursor for the Manic Pixie Dream Girl if she liked orchids and diamonds instead of rainbows and unicorn stickers. Many will find this performance irritating, as I did at times, but at least I felt <i>something</i> during her scenes.<br />
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On the other side of the "love triangle" is Myrna Loy's portrayal of Billie Burke. Saint Billie is down to earth and just as worshipful of her husband, but without the expensive tastes. She offers a nice alternative to the floozies that surround Ziegfeld day in and day out. Granted, Billie Burke served as a consultant on the film so...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
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All right, I've seriously run out of things to say about <i>The Great Ziegfeld</i>. It is what it is and you like bombastic musical numbers than I suggest watching it. If you don't...stay away. I'm done. Insert quippy wrap-up here.<br />
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<u>Impressions circa 2004</u><br />
Negative. Over long and pointless.<br />
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<u>Other Nominations and Wins</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents win) </span></i><br />
<ul>
<li><i>Best Director</i> - Robert Z. Leonard </li>
<li><b><i>Best Actress</i> - Luise Rainer</b></li>
<li><i>Best Original Screenplay </i></li>
<li><i>Best Art Direction </i></li>
<li><i>Best Film Editing </i></li>
<li><b><i>Best Dance Direction</i> - Seymour Felix for "A Pretty Girl is Like a Melody"</b></li>
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<u>1936 Best Picture Nominees</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold </b>represents films I have seen...followed by my opinion in 10 words or less.) </span></i><br />
<ul>
<li><i>Anthony Adverse </i></li>
<li><i>Dodsworth </i></li>
<li><i>Libeled Lady </i></li>
<li><i>Mr. Deeds Goes to Town </i></li>
<li><i>Romeo and Juliet </i></li>
<li><i>San Francisco </i></li>
<li><i>The Story of Louis Pasteur </i></li>
<li><i>A Tale of Two Cities </i></li>
<li><i>Three Smart Girls </i></li>
</ul>
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<u>What I Learned From...<i>The Great Ziegfeld</i></u><i><br />You gotta dream big to make it big.</i></div>
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</div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-18680521923829156832012-03-12T00:40:00.001-07:002012-03-12T00:40:59.425-07:00Jordyn Does the Best Picture Winners: Mutiny on the Bounty (1935)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
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<br /> In 1787, the HMS Bounty, a ship in the British Royal Navy, sets sail for Tahiti to gather breadfruit pods to be sent to West Indies as cheap food for slaves. The virile and handsome Fletcher Christian (Clark Gable) serves as master's mate to Lieutenant William Bligh (Charles Laughton), the perpetually scowling captain. Also aboard is Midshipman Roger Byam (Franchot Tone) a friendly man with aspirations to make an English-Tahitian dictionary. En route to Tahiti, Captain Bligh proves to be cruel and abusive tyrant; he accuses his men of theft, works them past exhaustion, and punishes them severely, sometimes fatally, for insubordination. Eventually the Bounty lands in Tahiti where Christian falls in love with a young native woman (Mamo Clark). After five months of living on an island paradise, the Bounty heads back to England. One final act of tyranny by Bligh leads Christian and eighteen other men to the titular mutiny.<br /><br />It's very likely that you have some notion of this epic true story because it has been adapted for the screen no less than five times. This particular version is based on the 1932 novel <u><i>Mutiny on the Bounty</i></u> by Charles Nordoff and James Norman Hall. What you might not realize--as I didn't until there was ten minutes left in my most recent viewing--is that BP #8 is the first in a long line of winners "based on true events". It's amazing how far we got into this before it happened considering the stiffie Oscar gets for biopics these days. But there you go.<div>
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The trouble with a "true story" is the audience has a pretty good chance of knowing what happens and finds watching a cinematic version a waste of their time. I remember this being a common joke floating around on late 90's sitcoms. When faced with the prospect of seeing <i>Titanic</i>, some snarker would quip "But I already know how it ends!!" [<i>canned laughter</i>]. So yes, even if the film-goer knows nothing of history, he at least knows there will be mutiny aboard the Bounty because it's in the freakin' title. <br /><br />A film like <i>Mutiny on the Bounty</i> is more about the how and why versus the what. Why was a 22-year-old man driven to commit mutiny against captain and crown? How in the hell did he succeed? The film presents a theory. What we must remember about this particular telling of The Legend of the Bounty is that it's based on a novel written some 150 years after the fact instead of being based the true events themselves. To make it work as a story one man must be made the shining hero and one the dastardly villain. <br /><br />There aren't many more dastardly villains that Charles Laughton's Captain Bligh. The character even makes "<i>AFI's 100 Years....100 Heroes and Villains"</i> list as bad guy #19. I hate these lists, but that's beside the point. Here Bligh is represented as a Grade A sadistic, control freak asshole with not one sympathetic characteristic. He is greedy, under handed and, my apologies to Charles Laughton, completely unpleasant to look at. Those thick, frowning lips just give me the heebie-jeebies. Bligh is not a villain we are meant to sympathize with or even a villain are suppose to "love to hate"; we are just meant to HATE him. Bligh is a genius with navigation as we see when he and his loyal men are cast adrift. But there is more to being a good captain than knowing how to steer a boat.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
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On the other side we have Fletcher Christian whom Clark Gable makes dead sexy. Cocksure and headstrong, cockstrong and headsure, Fletcher Christian is a MAN. Fluttery pirate shirts and tri-corn hats...sigh. Okay. Let's get serious. In the context of this film, Christian is the hero, the one who declares independence on a despotic dickhead. But what makes the story/novel/film so interesting is not everyone aboard the Bounty agreed with the mutiny. In fact 22 men sided with Bligh while only 18 sided with Christian. 4 men loyal to Bligh were forced to stay aboard the Bounty and head back to Tahiti.<br /><br />One of these men was Peter Heywood who, for some reason, is given the new name of Roger Byam in the novel and film. Franchot Tone's character represents the middle ground; a man who completely disagrees with Bligh's cruelty but cannot bring himself to betray his captain, his navy or his country. To make matters worse, Byam was friends with Christian which implicates him when he eventually returns to England as is court-martialed as a mutineer. Both Heywood and Byam were pardoned by King George III.<br /><br />The more I research the real mutiny on the Bounty for this stupid little entry, the more disillusioned about this film I become. When it comes right down to it, it's just a story of he said-he said. Since the mutineers stayed in Tahiti, there wasn't any direct testimony from them. Bligh really could have been a miserable cur but it's also possible 18 men were simply tired rampant buggery and wanted to live on beautiful tropical island with girls who cover their ta-tas with floppy necklaces of flowers. So who the fuck knows.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
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So <i>Mutiny on the Bounty</i> is also the first in a long line of historically inaccurate Best Picture winners. I don't think it's as bad as <i>Braveheart </i>(can't wait!) but...if you want a more accurate/in color/modern/sympathetic-towards-Bligh version check out 1984's <i>The Bounty</i> starring Mel Gibson and Anthony Hopkins. My mom likes it. Or if you want something faster and a little more low-brow, <i>The Simpsons</i> did a parody in the episode "The Wettest Stories Ever Told".<br /><br />...and that's all I have to say about that.<br /><br /><u>Impressions circa 2004</u><br />Positive. Clark Gable in a pirate shirt...yes, please!<br /><br /><u>Other Nominations and Wins</u><br /><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents win) </span></i><br /><ul>
<li><i>Best Director</i> - Frank Lloyd </li>
<li><i>Best Actor</i> - Clark Gable </li>
<li><i>Best Actor </i>- Charles Laughton </li>
<li><i>Best Actor</i> - Franchot Tone </li>
<li><i>Best Adapted Screenplay </i></li>
<li><i>Best Score </i></li>
<li><i>Best Film Editing </i></li>
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<br /><u>1935 Best Picture Nominees</u><br /><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents films I have seen...followed by my opinion in 10 words or less.) </span></i><br /><ul>
<li><i>Alice Adams </i></li>
<li><i>Broadway Melody of 1936 </i></li>
<li><i>Captain Blood </i></li>
<li><i>David Copperfield </i></li>
<li><i>The Informer </i></li>
<li><i>Les Miserables </i></li>
<li><b><i>The Lives of a Bengal Lancer</i> </b>- It sure took place in India, didn't it?</li>
<li><i>A Midsummer Night's Dream </i></li>
<li><i>Naughty Marietta </i></li>
<li><i>Ruggles of Red Gap </i></li>
<li><i>Top Hat</i> </li>
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<br /><u>What I Learned From...<i>Mutiny on the Bounty</i></u><br /><i>It never pays to be loyal to a tyrant.</i></div>
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</div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-82132426469393592992012-03-11T01:26:00.003-08:002012-03-11T01:27:34.957-08:00Jordyn Does the Best Picture Winners: It Happened One Night (1934)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
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1934 was a year of change for film. After 30+ years of uncensored bliss, here comes the Hays Code to stifle swears, violence, sex and all the other things that make Life worth living. <i>It Happened One Night</i> would be the last Best Picture winner to not suffer this oppression until the MPAA ratings system came to be in 1968.<br />
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1934 was also the first year Oscar switched to a calendar year plan. Maybe you noticed all the previous BP's covered two years (i.e. 1930-31). Originally the eligibility window arbitrarily spanned from August to July. In 1933, the Academy changed the dates to January 1 to December 31. (By the way, this means there was 17 months to choose a BP for 1932-33 and <i>Cavalcade</i> won.)<br />
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All right, let's get to the movie at hand. <i>It Happened One Night</i> is based on the short story "<i>Night Bus</i>" by Samuel Hopkins Adams. Claudette Colbert plays Ellie Andrews, a spoilt socialite who elopes with probable gold-digger King Westley (Jameson Thomas). Ellie's father (Walter Connelly) disapproves on the marriages and insists on an annulment. Ellie runs away and boards a bus to New York City to be reunited with King. En route, she meets a chivalrous but snarky journalist named Peter Warne (Clark Gable). When Ellie runs out of money, Peter offers to pay her way to New York as long as he gets the scoop on her "runaway heiress" story. If she refuses, Peter will hand Ellie over to her father and collect the reward money. Ellie agrees to travel with Peter and along the way the pair falls in love.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
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<i>It Happened One Night</i> is often called the first "screwball comedy". I've always found that genre name a little off-putting. I always picture dames in floppy hats tripping in their high heels, bickering with our hero before justly falling into a punch bowl or fountain. <br />
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What's this? A clip from <i>The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement</i>!?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
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Ugh. Yeah, that's the stuff. Shame on you, Chris Pine.<br />
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Thankfully Gable and Colbert are far too sophisticated to fall in a fountain. While some "screwball comedies" contain elements of farce, <i>It Happened One Night</i> focuses more on the petty arguments and debates between the leads. This lays the groundwork for most future "road-to-romance" movies: <i>Romancing the Stone</i>, <i>The Sure Thing</i>, <i>Anastasia</i>, <i>Shrek</i>, <i>The Princess and the Frog</i>, <i>Tangled</i>, <i>Rio</i><a href="http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1891938365508165147" style="color: #0d9426; text-decoration: none;" title="Damn, a lot of animation, huh?">*</a>. Much of the couple's squabbling arises from their class differences. Peter finds Ellie's wastrel ways irritating and firmly teaches her humility. <br />
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Some of the best moments in the film are the "<i>Seinfeld</i>ian" conversations about nothing; things like what makes a good piggy back ride, how to dunk a donut in coffee, and the multiple varieties of hitchhiking. The best is when Peter explains his routine of undressing and how every man does it differently. These discussions feel real and are comforting in their charming inconsequentiality. Later rom-coms would get caught up in the deception, overused pop music, chases to the airport and friggin' Matthew McConaughey.<br />
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Even if <i>It Happened One Night</i> beat the Hays Code by four months, Peter and Ellie still deny their carnal desires for one another. They sleep in separate beds with a blanket suspended on a rope between them, christened "the Walls of Jericho". And what's sexier than boning? <i>Not</i> boning. The film positively crackles with sexual tension. (In fact, I haven't seen this much sexual tension since Wings...tee-hee-hee). Peter and Ellie touch a lot...and sometimes no attention is brought to it, which completely shoves their unresolved tension in the audience's face. And God, it is so unsatisfying in a very, very good way.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
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However after Peter and Ellie finally get together--it's a rom-com! I've spoiled nothing!--there isn't really a pay off. The BIG MISUNDERSTANDING leads Ellie to consent to remarry King Westley with her father's "blessing" (he learned a lesson along the way, too). She learns the TRUTH and runs from the wedding. She does not sprint breathlessly into Peter's arms and kiss him in a heated frenzy. Instead we see we see the Walls of Jericho blanket falling to the floor on the honeymoon. That's right. No kiss and worse, no "I'm sorry"s. I don't really mind that we don't see Ellie and Peter get down tonight, but it feels like the original ending was replaced with another scene that Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert were unavailable to film. <br />
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A small quibble in the big picture.<i> It Happened One Night</i> is the first BP in this little retrospective that I genuinely like and one I have watched for fun. There aren't many rom-coms in our future, unsurprisingly, so cherish this one. In fact, can you imagine something like the similarly themed <i>Leap Year </i>winning the top prize? Good God! I don't want to live in a world like that...<br />
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<u>Impressions circa 2004</u><br />
Positive. Like I said in my BP intro, this is the one that started my interest in the Academy Awards!<br />
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<u>Other Nominations and Wins</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents win) </span></i><br />
<ul>
<li><b><i>Best Director - </i>Frank Capra </b></li>
<li><b><i>Best Actress - </i>Claudette Colbert<i> </i></b></li>
<li><b><i>Best Actor - </i>Clark Gable </b></li>
<li><i><b>Best Adapted Screenplay </b></i></li>
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<u>1934 Best Picture Nominees</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents films I have seen...followed by my opinion in 10 words or less.)</span></i><br />
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<li><i>The Barretts of Wimpole Street </i></li>
<li><i>Cleopatra </i></li>
<li><i>Flirtation Walk </i></li>
<li><i>The Gay Divorcee </i></li>
<li><i>Here Comes the Navy </i></li>
<li><i>The House of Rothschild </i></li>
<li><i>Imitation of Life </i></li>
<li><i>One Night of Love </i></li>
<li><i><b>The Thin Man</b></i> - Enjoyable quippy married couple solves a mystery. Sure.</li>
<li><i>Viva Villa! </i></li>
<li><i>The White Parade </i></li>
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<u>What I Learned From...<i>It Happened One Night</i></u><i><br />Opposites attract when forced to travel together.</i><br />
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</div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-23857518788144795402012-03-09T04:36:00.005-08:002012-05-04T12:09:37.671-07:00Jordyn Does the Best Picture Winners: Cavalcade (1932-33)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And here we are at the nadir of Best Picture winners. Of course, just as everyone argues over which BP is the best (both IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes say <i>The Godfather</i>...I disagree) everyone also has an opinion on which is the worst. Again, both IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes pick the same film: <i>Cimarron</i>.<br /><br />...I disagree. <br /><br />One could waste her life on comparing and contrasting BP's so I'm not going to open up the file of <i>Cimarron</i> vs. <i>Cavalcade</i>. What it really boils down to for me is home video. It's quite notorious among us Oscar-philes how <i>Cavalcade</i> has never been given a proper Region 1 DVD release. (Until a mere 6 weeks ago, <i>Wings</i> suffered from the same fate.) A VHS version of <i>Cavalcade</i> was released, without fanfare, in 1993. Since then it has been featured in a massive DVD box set known as the Twentieth Century Fox 75th Anniversary Collection which includes 75 of Fox's "greatest hits" like <i>The Seven Year Itch</i>, <i>Star Wars</i>, <i>The Devil Wears Prada</i>, and their other Best Picture Winners.<br /><br />My point? Nobody really cares about <i>Cavalcade</i>. Fox, who once upon made money off the thing, who won their first BP Oscar for it, doesn't even care. And as anyone in a failing relationship knows, indifference is far worse than bitter hatred. Unlike Disney's <i>Song of the South</i>, political correctness and fear isn't keeping <i>Cavalcade </i>in the vault, sheer badness is. I doubt anyone's writing letters to the CEO begging for this movie's liberation.<br /><br />Enough prologue. Let's get to it.<br /><br />Continuing our pattern of non-original screenplays, <i>Cavalcade</i> was adapted from the 1931 Noël Coward play of the same name. The Marryots are a prototypical wealthy British family consisting of matriarch Jane (Diana Wynyard), her husband Robert (Clive Brook), and their two sons Edward (John Warburton) and Joey (Frank Lawton). Beginning on New Year's Eve 1899, we experience the Second Boer War, the death of Queen Victoria, the sinking of the Titanic, World War I, and the roaring 20's with the Marryot family. We also get a window into the life of the Marryots' former maid Ellen Bridges (Una O'Connor) and her daughter Fanny's (Ursula Jeans) rise to fame as a singer in the 10's and 20's.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">...so yeah, it's kind of like <i>Cimarron</i> only now we're in Britain...which means it's kind of like <i>Upstairs, Downstairs</i>...and for those of you in the 21st century, <i>Downton Abbey</i>.<br /><br />I think what makes this movie suck so much is the characters. And by characters I mean the people in the movie who have things happen to them. There are no "characters" here. I can think of no distinguishing traits of anyone in this fucker. Jane Marryot is a mother, she loves her husband, but nothing more. Robert Marryot is a father, he loves his wife, but nothing more. Their sons, Edward and Joey...well, one dies on the Titanic and the other dies in WWI...but nothing more. <br /><br />I'm sorry but I'm going to have to compare <i>Cavalcade</i> to <i>Cimarron</i> here...At least Yancey Cravat had some spark! He was a dick and melodramatic but he was also a doer! He had personality! Even when he wasn't on screen, you were thinking about when he was going to show up again. There is none of that in Cavalcade-land. <br /><br />Also the film presents the historical bits in a completely ham-fisted, in-yo-face way. It feels sort of like a clumsily written 6th grade play. And another thing, the Marryots and their friends are all clairvoyant. Something big is always about to happen for them. The worst scene takes place on the Titanic while Edward's new wife (Margaret Harrison) discusses how unhappy they'll be one day so wouldn't be perfect if they died on this night???</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Stolen from <a href="http://nicksflickpicks.com/bestpics.html">Nick's Flick Picks</a>.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Yuck. It's disappointing to me because it's such a great and simple concept! This movie could have been good! I blame it on the script entirely. The wooden, textbook dialogue robs the actors of any opportunity to do something interesting. Okay, it's not all Noel Coward's fault because there are some bad editing choices, especially when showing the passage of time. I'm thinking of a few montages of SOUND and SINGING and IMAGES <i>ALL AT THE SAME TIME</i>. DON'T YOU GET IT?? TIME IS PASSING!!! STUFF IS HAPPENING!!! <b><u>SIMULTANEOUS!!!</u></b> Still, I could forgive those scenes if everything else wasn't so tortuous. <br /><br />So for right now, <i>Cavalcade</i> is my pick for worst Best Picture winner. That may change, of course. Part of this retrospective is to examine my changing tastes and ever-so-erudite cinematic intellect. Only time will tell...<br /><br /><u>Impressions circa 2004</u><br />Negative. For all the reasons above. And the hair is wrong! Nobody wore finger waves until the 1920's!!!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><u>Other Nominations and Wins</u><br /><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents win)</span></i> </span><br />
<ul>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><b><i>Best Director</i> - Frank Lloyd </b></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Best Actress </i>- Diana Wynyard </span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><b><i>Best Art Direction</i> </b></span></li>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /><u>1932-33 Best Picture Nominees</u><br /><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents films I have seen...followed by my opinion in 10 words or less.) </span></i></span><br />
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<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>A Farewell to Arms </i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>42nd Street </i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>I Am a Fugitive From the Chain Gang </i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Lady For a Day </i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Little Women </i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>The Life of Henry VIII </i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><b>She Done Him Wrong</b></i> - Mae West makes dirty jokes for 66 minutes. </span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Smilin' Through </i></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>State Fair </i></span></li>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /><u>What I Learned From...<i>Cavalcade</i></u><i><br />Time passes. Things happen. You can't do nothing about it.</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>On a personal note, I was lucky to snag a library copy of Cavalcade from Amazon back in '06 for mere pennies plus shipping. The box is cut up and mangled, but I treasure it...for some reason.</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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</div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-60020530084374648412012-03-08T20:53:00.002-08:002012-03-09T05:16:20.981-08:00Jordyn Does the Best Picture Winners: Grand Hotel (1931-32)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Famously, <i>Grand Hotel</i> is the only Best Picture winner in the history of the Academy Awards to be nominated in just one category...Best Picture. Think about that for a minute. Nothing about this film, not the acting, directing, editing, art direction, cinematography, or even screenplay was good enough to be honored with a nomination. So I ask the obvious: how exactly can it be the best?<br />
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Easy answer: it's probably not. In 1932, the Academy beefed up its number of BP nominees from 5 to 8. I'm no mathematician but even I know increasing the nominees makes winning far more difficult. It's quite possible two better films split the votes betwixt them and <i>Grand Hotel</i> by chance was #3. <br />
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Or maybe the Academy decided to vote for the film they enjoyed the most, technical goodness aside. As we see time and time again, the highest grossing film of the year (i.e. the most popular with Joe Sixpack) is usually only nominated in categories like Visual Effects or Make-Up<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1891938365508165147" style="color: #138a15; text-decoration: none;" title="Yes, yes, exceptions: Toys Story 3, Avatar, the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Saving Private Ryan, Titanic, Forrest Gump, Rain Man, E.T., Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars, Jaws...">*</a></span>. <br />
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...or maybe Louis B. Mayer bribed the Academy members.<br />
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...or maybe <i>Grand Hotel</i> really <i>was</i> the best movie that year. I haven't seen the other nominees and people seem to really like this one. I, myself, am a bit conflicted about it.<br />
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<i>Grand Hotel</i> is based on a play of the same name by William A. Drake which was adapted from the 1929 novel <i><u>Menschen im Hotel</u></i> by Vicki Baum. It tells the story of five guests at the grandiest of grand hotels, the Grand Hotel in Berlin. First there is Baron Felix von Geigern (John Barrymore) a self proclaimed "black sheep" who makes his living as a gambler and occasional petty thief. He befriends Otto Kringelein (Lionel Barrymore) who is dying of some unmentioned disease and decides to live it up in the lap of luxury until he bites it. Meanwhile, business "General Director" Presying (Wallace Beery) is working on a merger and hires a plucky but jaded stenographer named Flaemmchen (Joan Crawford) to assist him. The Baron flirts with and makes a date with Flaemmchen but eventually falls in love with Grusinskaya (Greta Garbo), a manic depressive Russian ballerina.<br />
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<i>Grand Hotel</i> is a character study. There is no plot other than "five people interconnect over a period of two days at a hotel." For me, the likability of this film is directly proportional to the likability of its characters. As all good characters are, each one is flawed: The Baron is a thief. Grusinskaya you can't help but pity for her "fading star" predicament, but she is also MELODRAMATIC AS FUCK. Preysing just wants to do his job but finds himself in opportunity with Flaemmchen that he just can't resist. Flaemmchen is charming but a gold digger when it comes right down to it. And Kringelein, the most sympathetic character, gets pretty annoying with his "Do you really like me? Really? Oh, I'm so grateful!" thing.<br />
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The character that I most wanted to like in this thing was Flaemmchen. (I like to identify with the females, don't cha know.) She interested me far more than Grusinskaya. Flaemmchen also has aspirations to be a star but is too weak to throw herself into it all the way. In the end, SPOILERS! SPOILERS! she runs off with Kringelein because he has money to support her and she can't be with the one she really wants. He doesn't seem to mind because he's dying and hey, why not spend the time with some hot chick? <br />
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I was also drawn to Wallace Beery because I'm apparently attracted to big, sleazy German businessmen now.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><br />
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What seems to be a classic Hollywood picture with Golden Age stars turns out to be surprisingly dark. Love doesn't conquer all. The almighty dollar does. The Baron tries through the whole movie to get enough money to survive and then to accompany his beloved ballerina to Vienna (By the way, after just one night he's in love? Puh-lease!). Preysing is completely focused on business, and then Flaemmchen's figure which he assumes he can buy. Kringelein needs money to die happily...You get it? So, if anything, <i>Grand Hotel</i> is a film about the necessity of money.<br />
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Still, it's sort of nice to see a film about people existing and interacting with one another without war, politics, disaster, or prejudice effecting them. We'll get a few of these in the future, but not many. The formatting is interesting and, I'm assuming, new for the time. I wasn't ever bored, also something I can't really say about some future winners. I'm looking at you, <i>Around the World in 80 Days</i>. But overall, <i>Grand Hotel</i> left a bad taste in my mouth. I wanted Morals and Goodness to triumph but Realism does.<br />
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<u>Impressions circa 2004</u><br />
Middling. I was underwhelmed as I recall.<br />
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<u>Other Nominations and Wins</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents win)</span></i> <br />
None<br />
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<u>1931-32 Best Picture Nominees</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold </b>represents films I have seen) </span></i><br />
<ul>
<li><i>Arrowsmith </i></li>
<li><i>Bad Girl </i></li>
<li><i>The Champ </i></li>
<li><i>Five Star Final </i></li>
<li><i>One Hour With You </i></li>
<li><i>Shanghai Express </i></li>
<li><i>The Smiling Lieutenant</i> </li>
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<u>What I Learned From...<i>Grand Hotel</i></u><i><br />Money makes the world go 'round.</i></div>
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</div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-15368467834795493862012-03-08T05:37:00.002-08:002012-03-08T23:50:31.297-08:00Jordyn Does the Best Picture Winners: Cimarron (1930-31)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />Sure, it looks exciting but those expecting an "Indiana Jones Goes West" type picture--the way my hopeful little 16-year-old heart did--will be sorely disappointed. But let's just take a moment to imagine if something like that existed...sigh. Sorry, I just finished watching <i>Cimarron</i> for the third time in my life, which is twice more than anyone should have to watch <i>Cimarron</i>. I guess you can tell already that I don't think this film is TERRIFIC AS ALL CREATION as the poster idly boasts.<br /><br />Adapted from Edna Ferber's 1929 novel of the same name, <i>Cimarron</i> is the tale of one family's experiences during forty years of Oklahoma history. After Yancey Cravat (Richard Dix) loses a choice piece of land to a "woman in black tights" in the 1889 Oklahoma Land Rush, he returns to his wife, Sabra (Irene Dunne) and demands that they leave their comfortable Wichita home for a little house on the prairie.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
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In the fictional "boomer town" of Osage, Yancey starts a newspaper and protects his family and townspeople from vagrants and outlaws until his wanderlust gets the better of him. Yancey abandons his family for the 1893 Land Rush (remember, he's the hero of the film) leaving Sabra to run the paper and support her two young children on her own. Before you know it, it's 1930 (i.e. the present) and Sabra has been voted a congresswoman without the help of her husband whom she misses for some reason. But lucky her, Yancey shows up one last time to say goodbye and make a melodramatic exit.<br />
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Forgive me for the overlong summary. The movie has a lot of stuff happening and yet it drags...it drags so much! As you may have already heard, <i>Cimarron</i> is another one of those "bad" Best Picture winners and it most certainly deserves that distinction. I choose to blame it on the unlikable characters. Yancey is BIG! LOUD! DRAMATIC! Everything he says is IMPORTANT! To Richard Dix subtlety is as foreign a word as <i>internet</i> or <i>microwave</i>. And while he is sensitive to the plight of minorities (more on that in a bit) he's also an asshole who abandons his family. Twice. And Mrs. Yancey Cravat is not just a simpering, victim...she's a nitwit, prejudiced, and a little too concerned with appearances. She is not likable until the last ten minutes of the movie when she becomes some wise old sage...apparently.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
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<i>Cimarron</i> is the first of just three westerns to win Best Picture which seems utterly ridiculous considering how fucking huge westerns were for TV in the 50's and 60's. Alas <i>Cimarron</i> is not your typical western with a revenge mission or search for treasure; it is about the settling of a town and so the "westerness" ceases to be around the halfway mark...maybe sooner. Say goodbye to westerns, kids, we won't be seeing another until 1990.<br />
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<i>Cimarron</i> is also described as racist. You see, there is a black character named Isaiah (Eugene Jackson) who is, like most black characters in this era of cinema, slow-witted, likes watermelon and speaks without a clear intonation. The child was a former servant of Sabra's mother in Kansas and stows away in the Cravats' covered wagon and then acts a servant in Osage. Isaiah may be a stereotype in some ways but he acts valiantly to protect the Cravats' young son during a shoot-out. Yes, the scenes are like sandpaper on the ass for a modern audience but it can't be helped now...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
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Remember how I said Yancey was sympathetic to minorities? Well, he speaks several times in the defense of Indians and how Whitey took their land and how they should have the right to vote. Then he Rushes for their Land. Twice. A hypocrite with a social conscience. Sabra on the other hand dislikes Indians through most of the film until her son decides to marry one and hears that Yancey has no problem with it. <br />
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Yancey also befriends Solomon "Sol" Levy (George E. Stone), a sweet little Jewish salesman who is reminiscent of Piglet without the stuttering. And he comes to the defense of a prostitute--although the word <i>prostitute</i> nor any of its cognates is ever uttered--named Dixie Lee (Estelle Taylor) when the ladies of Osage want the hussy out of town. This is also the "woman in the black tights" btw. Even though it pisses off Sabra to no end, Yancey sticks by his principles.<br />
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If there's one thing this movie does right it's showing how people are never <i>all good</i> or <i>all bad</i>. Yancey does several deplorable things but he has the right idea about treating all people equally. Sabra on the other hand, is a good mother to her children and makes social improvements in Osage but is prejudiced against Indians and hoes. Real life is full of this kind of thing; many presidents have made great political strides but have also cheated on their wives, for example.<br />
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Oh <i>Cimarron</i>. Look how much I've written about you! Far more than I ever intended. Well, it's always easier to write about the crap films. The film is melodramatic and I doubt it has anything good to offer anyone these days. Oh yeah, the Land Rush scene is lauded by many. Sure, It's okay. It offers a few humorous moments but it's over in, like, five minutes. A good movie cannot rest on five minutes alone. It looks like it was bitch to film though.<br />
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<u>Impressions circa 2004</u><br />
Negative. Dragged on. Oh, western prostitution! That's interesting...Oh, it's dragging again. Yancey's a dick.<br />
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<u>Other Nominations and Wins</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents win) </span></i><br />
<ul>
<li><i>Best Director</i> - Wesley Ruggles </li>
<li><i>Best Actor</i> - Richard Dix </li>
<li><i>Best Actress</i> - Irene Dunne </li>
<li><i><b>Best Writing, Adaptation </b></i></li>
<li><i>Best Cinematography </i></li>
<li><i><b>Best Art Direction </b></i></li>
</ul>
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<u>1930-31 Best Picture Nominees</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents films I have seen) </span></i><br />
<ul>
<li><i>East Lynne </i></li>
<li><i>The Front Page </i></li>
<li><i>Skippy </i></li>
<li><i>Trade Horn </i></li>
</ul>
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<u>What I Learned From...<i>Cimarron</i></u><i><br />Abandoning your family is okay if you fight for the rights of minorities.</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span><br />
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</div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-35518220918721567062012-03-07T21:32:00.000-08:002012-03-07T22:13:19.237-08:00Jordyn Does the Best Picture Winners: All Quiet on the Western Front (1929-30)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSyUBJ95SUWZDGfIF6IVQ3bQZmc6VyEwNxxlnE0OwN5qHIJq21FilH_sROff9Pr0c0z8EP2SJCW89n2hITphtL8ksmy6Q9LtfcWRONAQMtU8_fKwIL1xrKIaVOmBSb-zVnOkggYMKg-yQ/s1600/all_quiet_on_the_western_front.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSyUBJ95SUWZDGfIF6IVQ3bQZmc6VyEwNxxlnE0OwN5qHIJq21FilH_sROff9Pr0c0z8EP2SJCW89n2hITphtL8ksmy6Q9LtfcWRONAQMtU8_fKwIL1xrKIaVOmBSb-zVnOkggYMKg-yQ/s400/all_quiet_on_the_western_front.jpg" width="252" /></span></a></div>
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<i>All Quiet on the Western Front</i> is often cited as the first "good" Best Picture winner. This isn't a unrealistic claim; <i>Wings</i> has moments of technical flair but it doesn't shake one's core and <i>The Broadway Melody </i>is...<i>The Broadway Melody</i>. Where its predecessors are "romantic" and "fun", <i>All Quiet...</i> takes a turn for the serious and important and grim. It is also the first of our BP's based on a novel: WWI veteran Erich Maria Remarque's <u><i>Im Westen nichts Neues</i></u> published in 1928.<br />
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The film begins in a German schoolhouse where Professor Kantorek (Arnold Lucy) preaches to his students on the Glory of War and how they need to go die for their country, yadda, yadda, yadda. The students are whipped into such a patriotic fervor, they quit school and immediately join the war effort. We follow our protagonist Paul Bäumer (Lewis Ayres) and his schoolmates from basic training to violent battlefields, rat infested trenches, endless marching, starvation, amputation, insanity, and crippling loneliness. As Paul's friends get picked off one by one, he grows closer to the older Stanislaus "Kat" Katczinsky (Louis Wolheim) but he can't fight the disillusionment off for long.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
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The anti-war film is no stranger to Best Picture. <i>The Deer Hunter</i> (1978), <i>Platoon</i> (1986), and<i> The Hurt Locker</i> (2009) would go on to win the top prize in their respective years with the same themes. But we must remember that this was the first of the sound era. It blows my mind that a mere two years ago <i>Wings</i>, sentimental, romantic little <i>Wings</i>, won Best Picture. Where that film is enjoyable, <i>All Quiet... </i>is pretty much joyless. It's uncomfortable most of the time and downright horrifying at some peak moments: Paul spending the night in a shell crater with a Frenchman he killed. A tracking shot of a row of infantrymen being mowed down by a machine gun. A pair of hands left hanging on a barb wire fence after an explosion.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
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There. Now that image can be stuck in your head too.<br />
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As far as sex and romance go--because I wouldn't be me if I didn't discuss it--there isn't much. None of the boys have "girls worth fighting for" back home. There is, however, a very touching scene where Paul and a friend admire a poster of girl in a tavern and imagine what they would say to her. Later that day, Paul and his friends encounter three French girls and essentially trade bread and sausage for their, ahem, company. Maybe it is meant to be seen as "prostitution", that the French girls would only sleep with them because they need food, but I don't think this is director Lewis Milestone's intention. Paul & co. need relief and comfort and to be reminded there is something worth living for. And the audience needs a break from the relentless horror.</div>
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<br />The few "happy" moments aside, <i>All Quiet...</i>, as a story, as a novel, as a film, has one purpose and one purpose alone and that is to expose the true horrors of war and piss all over the myths of Heroism and Glory that a film like <i>Wings</i> so eagerly tries to present. And piss it does.<br />
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Surprise! Surprise! I didn't really like <i>All Quiet...</i> back in '04. If for nothing else but making the 2 hours and 12 minutes pass smoothly, I hoped to like it this time around. Good news, everyone! I did. But I don't think I'll be watching it again any time soon. I thought I'd have more to say on this film, but really, I can't say anything about it that hasn't been said before by someone far more eloquent than I. If nothing else comes out of me watching all the BP's again, at least I have finally found respect for this film.<br />
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<u>Impressions circa 2004</u><br />
Negative. I WAS SOOOOOOOO BOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEEEEDDDDDDDD!!!!! I liked the stuff with French girls though. P.S. This was another one of my Christmas presents in '04. :-(<br />
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<u>Other Nominations and Wins</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents win) </span></i><br />
<ul>
<li><b><i>Best Director</i> - Lewis Milestone </b></li>
<li><i>Best Writing </i></li>
<li><i>Best Cinematography </i></li>
</ul>
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<u>1929-30 Best Picture Nominees</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents films I have seen) </span></i><br />
<ul>
<li><i>The Big House </i></li>
<li><i>Disraeli </i></li>
<li><i>The Divorcee </i></li>
<li><i>The Love Parade </i></li>
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<u>What I Learned From...<i>All Quiet on the Western Front</i></u><br />
<i>War is HELL. Just say no.</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixDadLRSRrUq4m4JkRL-LMiKdQ38GDa3nKuSIL1BjnQKVF_MJi7iPItlApnSh7qeqJH-uNFKuvn9crcbXNHWw92LHClBCTRDub9D1GnYCK9T0S8mjZLuCSCWhrN-GZeVAitllcETouFQU/s1600/all-quiet-on-the-western-front-lew-ayres-louis-wolheim.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixDadLRSRrUq4m4JkRL-LMiKdQ38GDa3nKuSIL1BjnQKVF_MJi7iPItlApnSh7qeqJH-uNFKuvn9crcbXNHWw92LHClBCTRDub9D1GnYCK9T0S8mjZLuCSCWhrN-GZeVAitllcETouFQU/s320/all-quiet-on-the-western-front-lew-ayres-louis-wolheim.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-83788429949356302782012-03-06T19:45:00.003-08:002012-03-07T00:11:04.044-08:00Jordyn Does the Best Picture Winners: The Broadway Melody (1928-29)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdR17AsvCrV8iaFMVdJloCU7gkeejnJmBVXD8iezJlrY59aPOmh7yeNzgPageNAgeoIqtLhyphenhyphenYlDSlQvZ-cPjPy1vGdqC_sMElIvYJ6jViArAfwVd8OAtUkBrSOWUkpOC5TOzqERuKyVNw/s1600/broadway_melody.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdR17AsvCrV8iaFMVdJloCU7gkeejnJmBVXD8iezJlrY59aPOmh7yeNzgPageNAgeoIqtLhyphenhyphenYlDSlQvZ-cPjPy1vGdqC_sMElIvYJ6jViArAfwVd8OAtUkBrSOWUkpOC5TOzqERuKyVNw/s400/broadway_melody.jpg" width="256" /></a></span></div>
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Even before the first--and, ahem, only<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1891938365508165147" style="color: #0a8c1b; text-decoration: none;" title="Listen up, ya'll, The Artist is not entirely silent!">*</a></span>--silent film won Best Picture, Hollywood was making the transition to talkies. If you've seen <i>Sunset Boulevard</i> (1950), <i>Singing in the Rain</i> (1952), or, heh heh heh, <i>The Artist</i> (2011) then you know what a BFD this was not only for the sheer technical advancement, but also for the actors of the silent era. I won't retread familiar ground. I bring this up only because it's important to realize how <i>The Broadway Melody</i>, BP #2, represents a film from this shaky-as-fuck transitional period.<br />
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As far as story is concerned, "the first MGM musical" is pretty weak sauce. The Mahoney Sisters--wiry and business savvy big sis Hank (Bessie Love) and ditzy and beautiful lil' sis Queenie (Anita Page)--move to New York City in search of fame on the Great White Way. Hank's songwriter boyfriend Eddie Kearns (Charles King) personally works for Francis Zanfield (a cheaply veiled representation of famed Broadway impresario Florenz Ziegfeld...ugh, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0027698/">more about him later</a>) and gets the girls an audition. But because Queenie is <i>far more beautiful</i>, she becomes something of an It Girl, attracting the attention of not only smarmy playboy Jock Warriner (Kenneth Thomson) but also that of Hank's beau, Eddie.<br />
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And that's pretty much it. How did they manage to fit all that into 1 hour and 51 minutes? Why, by padding it with crappy musical numbers that do nothing to advance the plot in any way, shape or form, of course; something every musical ever is guilty of. It doesn't help matters that the protagonists are pretty much talentless, intentionally or not. The Mahoneys' particular brand of singing & dancing can only be compared to watching the "okay singers" early in an American Idol season; they're not William Hung bad, but they are so tragically mediocre that nothing can really happen for them.<br />
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What could have easily become a film about two sisters cat fighting for the limelight and love, putters into a story of two sisters and one big asshole. After the Mahoneys arrive in NYC, Eddie is immediately drawn to Queenie, who is Helen of Troy and Venus wrapped into one as we are told time and time again. He spends the rest of the movie pursuing her behind Hank's back. As all women do at one point or another, Queenie falls for the prick. But her loyalty to her sister keeps her from acting on her desires.<br />
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I think I'm making it sound more interesting than it is. Don't believe it. While a story like this could be compelling if done right, it ain't done right here. <i>The Broadway Melody</i> is movie full of unlikable characters. Hank garners some sympathy because she is constantly maligned for her little sister and always has her best interest at heart. Bessie Love over-acts throughout most of the film, but there are brief, <b><u><i>brief</i></u></b> moments where she walks the fine line between playing a plucky career woman and a vulnerable girl. If someone had to get an Oscar nomination out of this, it's her.<br />
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Technically speaking, <i>The Broadway Melody</i> looks and sounds like shit. I'll forgive the sound stuff but the visuals are just awful! There are long takes almost as if the actors couldn't find anyone to run the camera so they just set it on a dresser and let it record. Things go in and out of focus, people are half in frame...Jesus, you know it's bad when <i>I </i>take the time to mention the cinematography.<br />
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<i>The Broadway Melody</i> is sure to go down in history as one of the worst Best Picture winners. I can't really argue because it's a sloppy film with lame musical numbers, shit cinematography and editing, and poor acting. However, it's not like there's some "<i>Citizen Kane</i>" that didn't win because of <i>The Broadway Melody</i>'s success. <br />
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<u>Impressions circa 2004</u><br />
Mostly positive. I remember it as a cheap, stupid musical but enjoying it because I had been steeped MAN MOVIE Best Pictures for a while. I needed something mindless. This is about as mindless as it gets when it comes to BP's.<br />
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<u>Other Nominations and Wins</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents win)</span></i><br />
<ul>
<li><i>Best Director</i> - Harry Beaumont</li>
<li><i>Best Actress</i> - Bessie Love</li>
</ul>
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<u>1928-29 Best Picture Nominees</u><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold </b>represents films I have seen)</span></i><br />
<ul>
<li><i>Alibi</i></li>
<li><i>Hollywood Revue</i></li>
<li><i>In Old Arizona</i></li>
<li><i>The Patriot</i></li>
</ul>
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<u>What I Learned From...<i>The Broadway Melody</i></u></div>
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<i>When your boyfriend tries to score with your sister, let her have him.</i></div>
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We begin this epic--yes indeed, <i>epic</i>--Best Picture journey with <i>Wings</i>, a silent era epic--yes indeed, EPIC--set during The Great War or, as we yutzes in the 21st century know it, World War I. The film starts out much like an Archie comic mixed with A Midsummer Night's Dream: Both eager nice guy Jack Powell (Charles "Buddy" Rogers) and richie rich gentleman David Armstrong (Richard Arlen) are in love with the sophisticated out-of-towner Sylvia Lewis (Jobyna Ralston). Sylvia only has eyes for David, but Jack is too blind to realize anything of the sort. Jack is also blind to the <i>ass over head</i> hopeless devotion of his gal pal Mary Preston (Clara Bow).<br />
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But it's 1917 and America is needed Over There. Before both men enlist in the Air Service, Jack mistakenly assumes Sylvia returns his feelings which causes a rift between him and David. But long story short, they get over it BECAUSE THERE'S A FUCKING WAR GOING ON. Jack and David become friends, train, fly planes (hence <i>Wings</i>), meet Gary Cooper in a far too brief cameo, battle the Germans, fly more planes, battle some more Germans and so on and so forth...<br />
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I am not a fan of war movies. A fair fucking few have won Best Picture so I figure it best to get this out now, right from the commencement. I don't hate the genre by any means but as someone who has never been or will never go to war, I just can't relate. I like to find a character I can empathize with in some capacity and, as a woman, that is quite difficult to find in a war movie.<br />
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Now, that being said, Mary Preston doesn't sit at home pining for her darling Jack. She joins the Women's Motor Corp and drives around France delivering supplies, messages, etc. This leads to an interesting segue where Mary meets a celebrating Jack on leave in Paris and attempts to inform him that his furlough is over. He is frunk as druck and in the arms of some French floozy so Mary dresses up in a sequined dress to lure him away. He is more interested in the animated bubbles coming from her dress and eyes and passes out before anything can happen between him and the "mystery girl".<br />
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Is it important? Hell no. Did I enjoy the shit out of it? Hell yes.<br />
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If there are two things people know about <i>Wings</i> it's the film's first Best Picture winner status and that it boasts the first male-on-male kiss in cinema history. The aforementioned kiss is not romantic, of course, and takes place during a deathbed scene. Think Aragorn kissing Boromir in <i>Fellowship of the Ring</i>. Only now pretend they kiss on the lips instead of just the forehead. (I feel like I'm writing fan-fic here.) A man kissing a man goodbye is not a big deal but when it moves to the lips it sort of jars the modern sensibility.<br />
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<i>Wings</i> is sometimes noted for having a rife sexual tension between its male leads. At least in the eyes of a modern audience "sexual tension" is the easiest, most readily available label for Jack and David's closeness. Our heroes' mutual disdain, born from their rivalry over Sylvia, eventually turns into a deep friendship. They become inseparable, affectionate, and devoted to one another. But to call it "sexual" is unfair. By 1920's standards, this was simply acceptable male behavior, or else there is no way in hell <i>Wings</i> would have won Best Picture or have been as financially successful.<br />
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All Friend Zoney hijinks and bromo-eroticism aside, <i>Wings</i> is a war movie. Lots o' guns. Lots o' people dying. Lots o' aerial battles. From what the internet tells me, the flying scenes are super good. So there you go. It's a little "sloppy" compared to the pristine CGI polish of today, but it looks real. And hey, what do you know? THEY'RE REAL FUCKING PLANES. For all I know, someone was filming actual aerial battled in WWI and donated the footage to Paramount. God, I miss real effects and real crowd scenes.<br />
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<i>Wings</i> is a schizophrenic film. Half is heavy drama, seeped in the seriousness and significance of war. The other half treads into screwball comedy territory. First time viewers beware of tonal whiplash. Also, some parts drag a bit like the whole bubbles sequence. But is it likable? Sure. I definitely like it more than most future winners. Off the top of my head I can safely say it's my favorite war themed BP.<br />
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<u>Impressions circa 2004</u><br />
Positive.<i> Wings</i> was one of the very last BP's I saw. After months of patiently waiting for it to be shown on TCM (For Christsakes, it was the first Best Picture winner! I was not reaching for the stars here!!!) I became certain that my only chance of seeing it would be to just buy the damn thing. Not having much cash, I asked for <i>Wings</i> for Christmas instead of something I actually wanted. (Yes, I sacrificed one of my gifts to my BP cause.) This is the copy I own to this day although apparently <i>Wings</i> has finally been released on DVD...and Blu-ray.<br />
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<u>Other Nominations and Wins</u><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents win)</span></i><br />
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<li><b>Best Engineering Effects</b></li>
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<u>1927-28 Best Picture Nominees</u><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(<b>bold</b> represents films I have seen)</span></i></span><br />
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<li><i>The Racket</i></li>
<li><i>Seventh Heaven</i></li>
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<u>What I Learned From...<i>Wings</i></u></div>
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<i>War is bad, but having a friend there will help you through.</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3t1vSjOj1E9FSjrQi1252oHCC62_JkSlSRmzF5h57t8nCFXxDcoxA9MU9748vQyFWYVQwicgTrdZofes-O4KqXwPs-uicA_SwZBZURM8AjKP0tgUwKFgcLM2Fi5fbAdJfidErZwbvBWk/s1600/Wings+(1927)+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3t1vSjOj1E9FSjrQi1252oHCC62_JkSlSRmzF5h57t8nCFXxDcoxA9MU9748vQyFWYVQwicgTrdZofes-O4KqXwPs-uicA_SwZBZURM8AjKP0tgUwKFgcLM2Fi5fbAdJfidErZwbvBWk/s320/Wings+(1927)+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-88578358569154648742012-03-05T18:49:00.002-08:002012-03-06T16:04:56.010-08:00So It's Come to This: Jordyn Does the Best Picture Winners<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It was Friday, May 6, 2004. I was a sophomore in high school without a boyfriend or prospects or anything to do. While channel surfing, I inevitably clicked to Turner Classic Movies. The next movie up? 1934's screwball rom-com, <i>It Happened One Night</i>. Sure, I thought to myself, why not? So Robert Osborne<a href="http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1891938365508165147" style="color: #218505; text-decoration: none;" title="OMG, did you know he is from Colfax, WA which is, like, 20 miles from where I live???">*</a> came on screen and, as he usually does, briefed the audience on the upcoming film. This is when I learned <i>It Happened One Night</i> won the Academy Awards' coveted Best Picture Oscar.<br />
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Luckily, <i>It Happened One Night</i> is one of the best Best Picture winners and it was then that I was cast under Oscar's golden spell. I became a woman possessed and immediately needed to watch all 76--at the time--BPW's. Over the next 8 months, after renting, borrowing, studying TCM's schedule, and buying, I reached my goal. As you can imagine, I remained as single as ever in those 8 months.<br />
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Since then, I have been pretty on the ball about catching movies before they are even nominated--with a few exceptions, of course--and as of February 26, 2012, I have seen all 84 films to take the top prize. Yes, yes, thank you, thank you, hold your applause. However, it's been nearly 8 years since I've seen most of the BPW's. Happily, my tastes have changed since I was 16 so I was thinking I would watch them all again to see just how damn refined my cinematic taste has become.<br />
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As with all my reviews, this will entirely be based on my non-film historian/student/critic opinion. Remember, I think <i>Son-in-Law</i> is good entertainment so don't expect me to cum all over myself while watching <i>A Beautiful Mind</i>...graphic, sorry. Some of the BPW's are on My List<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1891938365508165147" style="color: #218505; text-decoration: none;" title="Just so everyone's clear, I love Gone With the Wind, Forrest Gump, The English Patient, Titanic, Chicago, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, and The Departed.">*</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span>and have already been reviewed, but I will be looking at them as BEST PICTURE WINNERS not just films I like...still, don't expect that much of a difference.<br />
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It's not my intention to discuss the history/politics surrounding the films. Nor will I attempt the Academy's reasoning behind picking one film over another. I will be viewing these films chronologically and discussing them as stand alone entities...that just so happen to hold the most respected and inflated honors in cinema history.Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-64397462429541488182012-03-03T21:47:00.002-08:002012-03-03T21:50:21.978-08:00Year of the Mix: FebruaryIntro, intro, songs for February, blah, blah, blah. :-)<br />
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1. <b>"Music"</b> - Madonna, <i>Music</i> (2000)<br />
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Since this song came out in the midst of my "I hate contemporary music! Viva la Oldies!" phase, I pretty much ignored it until Super Bowl XLVI. The lyrics are pretty simple: an ode to music and its ability to bring everyone together. Meta. I dig it.<br />
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2. <b>"Favorite"</b> - Liz Phair, <i>Liz Phair </i>(2003)<br />
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Girls of my generation are really unaware of who Liz Phair was in the 90's. To us she is not an indie pop revolutionary, she is that chick who sings "Why Can't I?" from <i>Win a Date With Tad Hamilton! </i>and <i>13 Going on 30</i>. Another similar track off of Liz Phair's self-titled sell-out album is "Favorite", a song that compares her favorite guy to her favorite underwear...yeah.</div>
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3. <b>"Every Other Weekend"</b> - Reba McEntire (feat. Kenny Chesney), <i>Reba: Duets</i> (2007)<br />
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In this duet, Reba and Kenny play a divorced couple with joint custody. Every other weekend, they trade off taking care of the kids and regretting their divorce. However, both parties are so certain the other is over the relationship that they never speak of their true feelings and the cycle continues. Every time I listen to this song, it never fails to move me. It's a tragic romance that could only exist in the modern day.</div>
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4. <b>"Everybody's Fool"</b> - Evanescence, <i>Fallen</i> (2003)<br />
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Evanescence lead singer Amy Lee thought blonde skanky popstars were having a negative influence on her younger sister so she wrote a song about how fake their image was and how unhappy they must really be. (Just image if Britney Spears's "Lucky" was nu metal.) Interestingly, the song was written five years before its release while Britney and Christina Aguilera were still innocent and not yet a slave 4 u or dirrty. I LOVE SONGS ABOUT THE FAME!!!!<br />
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5. <b>"Shake It"</b> - Ian Matthews, <i>Stealin' Home</i> (1979)<br />
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One of my very favorite movies is a teen sex comedy from 1980 entitled<i> Little Darlings</i> where two girls make a bet on who will lose their dreaded, fifteen year old virginity first. This peppy and folky song about being a tease while you still can opens the film and fits perfectly.<br />
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6. <b>"Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)"</b> - Kelly Clarkson, <i>Stronger</i> (2012)<br />
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You see, I like this song and all, but every time I listen to it I can't help but hear the desperate subtext of "I'm single and I'm <b><u>OKKKAAAYYYAAAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!</u></b>" Only a person completely secure with being single could sing a song about being secure about being single. See? SEE? Don't worry about Kelly Clarkson. She's <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><u>OKKKKKKAAAAAAYYYYYYYAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!</u></b> </span></div>
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P.S. This song was #1 the week of Valentine's Day. Coincidence? I'll let you be the judge.<br />
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7. <b>"Oh My Love"</b> - John Lennon, <i>Imagine</i> (1970)<br />
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This is one of the most beautiful and simple songs ever written about being in love. It's pure and without pretense or expectations. <br />
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8.<b> "Just the Girl"</b> - The Click Five, <i>Greetings from Imrie House</i> (2005)<br />
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Goddamnit, sometimes you just need something mindless and sugary. And sometimes you need it from a pop-punk band that nobody remembers. This one glorifies geeky guys being hot for mean girls. 'Cause we need more of those.<br />
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9. <b>"Nobody's Fool"</b> - Miranda Lambert, <i>Four the Record</i> (2011)<br />
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This is one of those songs that just does it for me and I can't really explain why. Maybe it's because it sort of rocks more than it countrys, which is better than it popping more than it countrys, I guess. Or maybe it's the "clever" word play of the chorus: "<i>When they ask I'll just say he's nobody/and me, well, I'm nobody's fool</i>." I'm a sucker for the dual meaning chorus, you know. <br />
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10. <b>"Tides of Time"</b> - The Cake, <i>A Slice of Cake </i>(1968)<br />
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You never know where Youtube will take you. I think I was looking up 50's doo-wop when I stumbled upon The Cake, a late 60's girl group with two albums and no big hits. "Tides of Time" is one of those lovely, Baroque pop ditties from the late 60's that transforms you into renaissance princess for 2 minutes. P.S. I've got a fever and the only prescription is more harpsichord.</div>
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11. <b>"The Joker"</b> - Steve Miller Band, <i>The Joker</i> (1973)<br />
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How can you not love this song? It instantly lifts your mood. Perfect for getting stoned on your best friend's roof...not that I ever did that. Seriously, I didn't. Besides, if we were to get stoned, God know we would have listened to Linkin Park's <i>Hybrid Theory</i>. I digress. <i>Some people call me the space cowboy...</i><br />
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12. <b>"This Love"</b> - Maroon 5, <i>Songs About Jane</i> (2002)<br />
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I really don't care for Maroon 5 and I REALLY don't care for Adam Levine but I do like this track. One of the few singles released in 2004 that <i>wasn't</i> hip hop. Half about a break up and half about sex. I love its frankness.<br />
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13. <b>"Beige"</b> - Pistol Annies, <i>Hell on Heels</i> (2011) <br />
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I briefly touched on Pistol Annies--a country music girl group with Miranda Lambert--last summer. I wouldn't say they exactly made a splash in country music, but what they do is so refreshingly different from Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, and even Miranda Lambert as a solo artist. They go back to the early days of country music and write simple, short and sweet songs that could have been performed by Loretta Lynn or Tammy Wynette. "Beige" is one such song. It tells of a shotgun wedding in which the "<i>everyone in this place knows I didn't wait, cause I was wearing beige</i>." Not really relevant to today, but that is part of its charm.</div>
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14. <b>"Tipsy"</b> - J-Kwon, <i>Hood Hop</i> (2004)<br />
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Those damn <i>Project X</i> ads are on ALL THE TIME and I'm only so strong. This song is fucktarded. I hate myself for putting this song on here, but I have to be honest about this month's listening habits. Fuck all.<br />
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15. <b>"I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)"</b> - Whitney Houston, <i>Whitney</i> (1987)<br />
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Um, maybe you heard this already, but Whitney Houston died this past month. So partly out of respect (the bitch could sing) and partly out of that maudlin "Oh, she's dead. Maybe I'll listen to one of her songs" thing, I bring you my favorite Whitney Houston song. IT'S SO DAMN HAPPY!!!!<br />
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16. <b>"Queens of Noise"</b> - The Runaways, <i>Queens of Noise</i> (1977)<br />
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"<i>I can bring you up, while you're going down.</i>" GOD, YES!!! I've mentioned my interest in and respect for the all-girls rock 'n' roll group The Runaways before. While many of their songs are sort of charming for their eager rebelliousness, this is definitely one that stands out melodically. It is of a slower tempo than most of their songs but that adds to the sex appeal...you know, if rebellious jailbait is your thing.<br />
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17. <b>"Sea of Love"</b> - Cat Power, <i>The Covers Record</i> (2000)<br />
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You probably know this song from <i>Juno</i>. It is actually originally a R&B song from the 50's. It has since been covered a million times and here is one that I happen to like. I simply enjoy the sparse production on this one. I also enjoy the scene from <i>Juno</i> while this song is playing, so that has a lot to do with it.<br />
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18. <b>"Nevermore"</b> - Queen, <i>Queen II </i>(1973)<br />
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I really, <i>really</i>, <i><b>really</b></i> need to listen to more Queen. As far as male vocalists go, Freddy Mercury is waaaaaaaay up there and their songs are so damn good. "Nevermore" is the shortest track on this playlist at 1:18. Basically it's a break up song where the singer begs to not be sent to metaphorical land of Nevermore where one is loved never more. Beautiful, but far too short. :-(</div>
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19. <b>"Fuck U Betta"</b> - Neon Hitch, <i>Beg, Borrow, and Steal</i> (2012)<br />
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I found this one on Youtube while searching for Britney Spears or some other established artist. Of course I was intrigued and titillated by the title so I had me a listen. DANCE POP!!! DIRTY DANCE POP!!!! SHE CAN FUCK U GOOD, BUT I CAN FUCK U BETTA!!!! Whenever I listen to this song, I can't help but feel a little guilty because I don't have that much confidence in my carnal skills. But its fun to pretend I do.</div>
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20. <b>"We Are Young"</b> - fun., <i>Some Nights</i> (2012)<br />
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We began with a Super Bowl song and we end with a Super Bowl song. This one appeared in a commercial for some car I can't afford. The song is a soaring anthem for the young; perfect for stumbling home at the end of a drunken night with lighters in the air...or, more accurately, the Lighter App for the iPhone. (They have an App for that, right?) I love the song to pieces and I couldn't be happier that it is currently #3 on the Billboard charts.</div>
</div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-88350636876496843202012-02-06T09:35:00.000-08:002012-02-06T19:59:01.227-08:00Year of the Mix: JanuaryHere is the first in my series of monthly mixes. The listening order is for maximum enjoyment and not ranked.<br />
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1. <b>"Don't Bring Me Down"</b> - Electric Light Orchestra, <i>Discovery</i> (1979)<br />
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They just don't make 'em like this anymore. You'll be very hard pressed to find such a rocking AND peppy song on the Top 40...or even on the rock chart. Due to being featured in <i>Paul</i>, <i>Super 8</i>, several movies trailers and Budweiser commercials, "Don't Bring Me Down" had a resurgence in 2011. You've heard it, trust me. Songs like this one make me certain the best music ever produced came out of the late 70's/early 80's. There, I said it again.<br />
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2. <b>"All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You"</b> - Heart, <i>Brigade</i> (1990)<br />
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A woman's husband can't knock her up so she picks up a drifter, beds him, and picks him up again after she's birthed his child. You know...just your average "all I wanna do is make love to you" song. It's corny and could only be a hit in the early 90's. A guilty pleasure, for sure, but a pleasure just the same.<br />
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3. <b>"Sexy Bitch"</b> - David Guetta (feat. Akon), <i>One Love</i> (2009)<br />
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Even though the best music ever produced came out of the late 70's/early 80's, one of the best stand alone years is definitely 2009. By then, I started to become quite fond of popular music and yet "Sexy Bitch" didn't make an impression on me until now. A very likely story with me, I know. Fucking infectious.<br />
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4. <b>"Remind Me"</b> - Brad Paisley (feat. Carrie Underwood), <i>This is Country Music </i>(2011)<br />
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It seems the only true blue love songs produced these days come from country music. This duet is about a couple who has lost the spark but decide to regain it after seeing other couples perform PDA. Soaring chorus...yes please.<br />
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5. <b>"My Heart Is Broken"</b> - Evanescence, <i>Evanescence</i> (2011)<br />
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If you like "Bring Me to Life" and "Going Under" you will like this goth-esque rock ballad about lost love. It's pretty much everything you'd expect from Evanescence and that's not a bad thing. Perfect for sing-screaming in your car after a mad break up with your rocker boyfriend.<br />
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6. <b>"The Concept"</b> - Teenage Fanclub, <i>Bandwagonesque</i> (1991)<br />
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I first heard this song in the opening of <i>Young Adult</i>. On a mixtape made by her former sweetie, Charlize Theron's character plays it OVER AND OVER on her trip back to her hometown to win him back. I became addicted and search the internet ferociously to find the title and artist. If sung in a slightly different way, this song could easily pass for mid-60's garageband.<br />
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7. <b>"Hello, Hello"</b> - Elton John and Lady Gaga, <i>Gnomeo & Juliet: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack</i> (2011)<br />
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Readers already know that this is my pick for Best Original Song...unfortunately it wasn't nominated. ☹ None the less, this weird little love song is extremely catchy and feels like it could have been a hit for Elton John in the 70's.<br />
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8. <b>"Jar of Hearts"</b> - Christina Perri, <i>lovestrong.</i> (2011)<br />
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Well...I'm sort of at a loss to discuss this piano ballad. It's about a womanizer who wants to rekindle a relationship but the singer will have none of it. It's pretty and that's enough.<br />
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9. <b>"Go All the Way"</b> - The Raspberries, <i>Raspberries</i> (1972)<br />
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This song used to play on my oldies station all the time, but then I forgot about it until randomly rediscovering it on Youtube. I love the pretty chorus where the singer's girlfriend begs to, ahem, go all the way. Sweet sounding songs with sexual meanings are the greatest. It's reminiscent of The Beatles' "Please, Please Me" in a very good way.<br />
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10. <b>"I Like It"</b> - Enrique Iglesias (feat. Pitbull), <i>Euphoria</i> (2010)<br />
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Also didn't get this one until last month even though it was pretty big. A pro-cheating anthem for da clubs! Great to dance in your underwear to...not that I ever would do that.<br />
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11. <b>"I Do Not Hook Up"</b> - Kelly Clarkson, <i>All I Ever Wanted</i> (2009)<br />
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Slow on the musical uptake, that's me. Yep, this one too. Another great song from 2009. Maybe I'm off the mark with this, but it seems very rare these days to have a song where a girl is fighting off sexual advances. Great vocals from Kelly Clarkson as always.<br />
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12. <b>"21 Guns"</b> - Green Day, <i>21st Century Breakdown</i> (2009)<br />
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Okay...this one doesn't make sense at all. Although I'm a fan of "Wake Me Up When September Ends" (mostly because it reminds me of being on top of Steptoe Butte my senior year) I don't pretend any sort of Green Day fan. I saw the video for "21 Guns" on Pop-Up Video and the melody just wouldn't leave my head. Also, and I hardly <i>ever </i>say this about men, Billie Joe Armstrong has a beautiful voice.</div>
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13. <b>"Price Tag"</b> - Jessie J (feat. B.o.B.), <i>Who You Are</i> (2011)<br />
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Infectious. Catchy. Anti-materialism. I really have nothing else to say about this one other than I'm behind the message.<br />
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14. <b>"Special Death"</b> - Mirah, <i>Advisory Committee</i> (2001)<br />
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This one's for the angsty pre-teen inside me who cuts in her closet and writes sad poems that could easily double for suicide notes. I heard this one on the first episode of <i>American Horror Story</i>.<br />
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15. <b>"Dim All the Lights"</b> - Donna Summer, <i>Bad Girls</i> (1979)<br />
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One of my favorite disco songs. And just <i>filthy</i>. Check out this lyric:<br />
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<i>You can use me all up/Take me bottom to top/Don't leave even one drop/Do it tonight/You know the moments are right/Turn my brown body white</i><br />
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...Yep. It means exactly what you think.</div>
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16. <b>"Love Drunk"</b> - Boys Like Girls, <i>Love Drunk </i>(2009)<br />
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Pop punk at its most shameless. It's no secret that I love me some catchy hooks and this feels like it was cranked out of a machine for stupid saps like me.<br />
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17. <b>"Stan"</b> - Eminem (feat. Dido), <i>The Marshall Mathers LP</i> (2000)<br />
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What the fuck, right? Time and time again I decry rap/hip hop/whatever, but here I go again blogging about how much I like a random track. I like story songs. And I like songs about fame and this one takes the perspective a fan obsessed with Eminem's alter-ego Slim Shady. I'll also give some due respect to Eminem for the letter writing format. Haha and it's Devon Sawa in the video!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEq2NuEKnePsoMJ9_G-rsFAiFPAPbcWNir8Bi85H-7h3J0reNKbp3Nqe-3dqIApWg4VOylK6OMT63VKIgtwaED_x97oJ2M3iUqW46PxEoXEcvwDF1WxPyTXhbaAJESJYZhfT_FrRIydNI/s1600/220px-Paris_Hilton_-_Paris.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEq2NuEKnePsoMJ9_G-rsFAiFPAPbcWNir8Bi85H-7h3J0reNKbp3Nqe-3dqIApWg4VOylK6OMT63VKIgtwaED_x97oJ2M3iUqW46PxEoXEcvwDF1WxPyTXhbaAJESJYZhfT_FrRIydNI/s1600/220px-Paris_Hilton_-_Paris.jpg" /></a></div>
18. <b>"Stars Are Blind"</b> - Paris Hilton, <i>Paris</i> (2006)<br />
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No, no, wait! Hear me out...Okay, you're right. This song is just as vapid as you think. I'm a slave to the hook, the pseudo reggae beat and Paris's weak, breathy vocals. You can thank Pop-Up Video for this one, too. Only on a mix of mine would Paris Hilton follow Eminem.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBwLt3uE7pPl7lfICnoO5QzwurZWi2YA5xNRkbfTFQi9kF1abhx2WHDvjf2ZW40iAs_51ZSUHYferQehc4RQO5fSz68-1pHM4CBChyphenhyphenAD_bYKQRl2lKFSpIPi2Y4EW6vv-iyCB3Bqpxpwg/s1600/220px-AftertheRainNelson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBwLt3uE7pPl7lfICnoO5QzwurZWi2YA5xNRkbfTFQi9kF1abhx2WHDvjf2ZW40iAs_51ZSUHYferQehc4RQO5fSz68-1pHM4CBChyphenhyphenAD_bYKQRl2lKFSpIPi2Y4EW6vv-iyCB3Bqpxpwg/s1600/220px-AftertheRainNelson.jpg" /></a></div>
19. <b>"(Can't Live Without Your) Love and Affection"</b> - Nelson, <i>After the Rain</i> (1990)<br />
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While listening to every song to hit #1 on the Billboard charts, I admired this one after its initial listen. I recently picked it up again and was taken away with the simple message and easy going production. These are just two dudes (twin sons of Ricky Nelson) who want to sing a song...at least it seems that way. And I would kill for their hair.</div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-82558163434916275642012-02-06T06:00:00.000-08:002012-02-06T07:19:18.053-08:00Year of the Mix (aka Jordyn Steals Andrew's Idea)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It's February which means most people have long since given up on their New Year's resolutions. Oh, but not me. Mine was to start building the soundtrack to my life. While I'm sure you absolutely LOVE my "Jordyn's Current #1 Song" gadget, there is no real method to it; I change it when I think to. And a song could be #1 for four weeks or four days. And I can only assume you are JUST DYING to know why that song is #1.<br /><br />You're in luck. Over the next year, I'll be posting a playlist of my most listened to tracks, favorites, rediscoveries, etc. for that month. Coming soon to a computer near you will be January's. Get excited.<br /><br />This idea was totally jacked from Andrew's Testermix series. He usually puts a playlist out every season or so. <a href="http://diversiontwopointoh.blogspot.com/2011/01/normal-0-false-false-false-en-us-x-none.html">Check his out</a>. They're far more thought out than mine.</span>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-69425660404761397792012-02-05T07:07:00.000-08:002012-02-19T21:31:41.343-08:00If Taylor Swift Had a Friend With Benefits...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Like most people in this world, I cannot write music. Being a life-long singer of sorts, I tried many a time to write a song just in case I grew up to be a superstar. My sixth grade efforts brought forth but one ditty entitled "Let the Good Times Roll" which, as I recall, was ripped off from The Partridge Family's "Let the Good Times In". I never performed it for anyone, although the lyrics sheet is somewhere in my personal papers.<br />
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Then a few months back, my ex-roommate and I were talking about fuck buddies of all things and how there weren't any songs about the concept...or something like that. Of course there are gads of sex songs but they either skew on the edge of romantic ("Let's Make Love") or nasty ("Rude Boy") and hardly never anywhere in between.<br />
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So a couple of days ago, I drank an AMP energy drink and became inspired halfway home from Pullman. I started writing lyrics in my head and finished in about 5 hours.<br />
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Now, before you get too excited, I DID NOT WRITE THE MUSIC. I wrote to the tune of "Favorite" by Liz Phair, my current #1 song. I don't know how legal or ethical to do such a thing but Katy Perry covered The Outfield's "Your Love" and changed most of the lyrics...so this is done in the real music world.<br />
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I am posting a video of "Favorite" just so you can get a taste of what it should sound like. And, WARNING!!! WARNING!!! This song is pretty dirty but hopefully not offensive. I imagine if Taylor Swift was ever in a strictly sexual relationship, she would probably write a song something like this.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">(Original written by Scott Spock, Lauren Christy, Graham Edwards)</span></div>
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<u>F♥ck Buddies </u><br />
Text me at eleven twenty-two <br />
Give me a sec and I'll be there soon <br />
Racing downtown at eleven thirty cause I want it too <br />
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Say hello with a kiss at the door, <br />
The next thing we know we're on the floor <br />
No need for small talk right this minute, let’s do it like before <br />
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Not a string, not a tie <br />
Not a rule or a lie <br />
Everything that we need <br />
Oh baby, can’t you see? <br />
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CHORUS 1<br />
You never have to clean your room <br />
And I won’t buy new underwear <br />
It’s so uncomplicated <br />
You don’t have to buy me flowers <br />
And I never have to do my hair <br />
Just look at how damn easy this is <br />
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I’ll pin your arms above your head <br />
Hitting the wall and moving the bed <br />
Your roommates hate us cause we’re loud enough to wake the dead <br />
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Love you looking up when you’re down on me <br />
Whisperin’ sweet dirty words sets me free <br />
Oh baby make me call your name until I can barely breathe <br />
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Throw me down, pull my hair<br />
Don’t stop now, I’m almost there <br />
Hot n' heavy, a little rough <br />
Ready or not, here I come <br />
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CHORUS 2 <br />
I don’t wanna be your girl <br />
And you don’t have to make me eggs <br />
It’s so uncomplicated <br />
You don’t wanna be my guy <br />
And I don’t have to wax my legs <br />
See how damn easy this is? <br />
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BRIDGE <br />
Oh baby, it’s so damn easy <br />
I never thought that this could be <br />
Let’s ride this out as long as we can <br />
Let’s go again and again <br />
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They say it’ll never work, <br />
So baby let’s prove them wrong <br />
No need to give this up <br />
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Right here, right now, you have what I want <br />
Take me, shake me <br />
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They say it’s a bad idea <br />
So let’s show ’em how it’s done <br />
We’ve got a hold on it <br />
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Right here, right now, I have what you want <br />
Roll me, hold me <br />
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I love how damn easy this is</div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-22587659023572058072012-01-28T19:19:00.000-08:002012-01-28T19:21:05.250-08:00Best Original Song - 2011<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>"Man or Muppet" </b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">from </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><i>The Muppets</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> performed by Jason Segel and Peter Linz</span></div>
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<i>Movie Synopsis:</i><b> </b>Three fans help the Muppets reunite to save their theatre from a greedy oil tycoon. Adventures and wackiness ensue.<br />
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<i>Does it appear in the movie (i.e. other than the end credits)?</i> Yes...at least I'm pretty sure it does?<br />
<i>Is it important to the plot?</i> From my internet research, yes?<br />
<i>Is it pleasing to the ear?</i> Silly as fuck, but yes.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg37CVwblXxOXZUoEqCU3XMCpMfQ8wW7zTEQrmLEiyYm64EEVOdhtQmO6LQkGPrAjEVSeWEm7ysca3Ge5iCpeVxSUnFeIbV6KKQQcTHJTdnRQ1d5m1UCLf7qlcmTJ3dz103nV3YQlIFPEc/s1600/rio.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg37CVwblXxOXZUoEqCU3XMCpMfQ8wW7zTEQrmLEiyYm64EEVOdhtQmO6LQkGPrAjEVSeWEm7ysca3Ge5iCpeVxSUnFeIbV6KKQQcTHJTdnRQ1d5m1UCLf7qlcmTJ3dz103nV3YQlIFPEc/s200/rio.jpg" width="135" /></a></div>
<b>"Real in Rio"</b> from <i>Rio</i> performed by Jesse Eisenberg, Jamie Foxx, Anne Hathaway, George Lopez, will.i.am, and the Rio Singers<br />
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<i>Movie Synopsis: </i>A domesticated macaw goes to Rio De Janeiro with a she-macaw. Adventures and wackiness ensue.<br />
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<i>Does it appear in the movie (i.e. other than the end credits)?</i> Opening and closing.<br />
<i>Is it important to the plot? </i>SOUTH AMERICAN BIRDS LIKE THE SAMBA!<br />
<i>Is it pleasing to the ear?</i> <i>Saludos Amigos</i> and <i>The Three Caballeros</i> have soured me on all psuedo-South American music.<br />
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Oh, no. Your eyes are not playing tricks on you. There are but two, I repeat, <i>two</i>--dos, deux, due, zwei, duobus--Best Original Song nominees this year. Why, you ask? Well, according to this week's issue of <i>Entertainment Weekly</i>:<br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;">"...the Academy's music branch introduced a rule change in 2009 demanding that tunes receive an average score of 8.25 or higher (out of 10) from branch members to earn a nod. And if just one song hits the 8.25 mark, the track with the next highest score gets a nomination."</span></i></blockquote>
Meaning: nothing is good enough for the pretentious asshats in the Academy's music branch. I mean, Christ, just for appearances throw in a third nominee. This is just embarrassing. It makes the category look pointless. (Which if you get down to it, the whole damn thing: film makers awarding film makers for the sake of getting awards <i>is</i> pointless...but I digress). In 1945, the category hit its peak with a staggering 14 nominations. The following year, the rules changed to limit the number of nominations to five maximum. Since then, only four years--1988, 2005, 2008, 2010--have strayed from this formula. But this is a new low.<br />
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It's hard to believe a mere seven years ago the Counting Crows's radio-friendly "Accidentally in Love" (from <i>Shrek 2</i>) was a nominee. And nine years ago Eminem's hoody-up anthem "Lose Yourself" (from <i>8 Mile</i>) was the Best Original Song winner <i>and</i> a number one single on the Billboard charts. Oh how the mighty have fallen.<br />
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<i><b>Sigh...anyway, what gets my vote?</b></i><br />
<b>"Man or Muppet"</b> from <i>The Muppets</i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn8VyBf6p6VQYBp52PnNH100WmNIc9AYHbbNbjuY83PU7YnZxT63SnAKa1QJLzaVey9X6IjBR9jdFhtblZgyMd0yTimQo4jJQlv03fg1crqGuEaqso-FBSdK1F2vzJtppozfKkpBiDB-Y/s1600/Man-or-Muppet.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn8VyBf6p6VQYBp52PnNH100WmNIc9AYHbbNbjuY83PU7YnZxT63SnAKa1QJLzaVey9X6IjBR9jdFhtblZgyMd0yTimQo4jJQlv03fg1crqGuEaqso-FBSdK1F2vzJtppozfKkpBiDB-Y/s320/Man-or-Muppet.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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It made me laugh. It's better structured. It's bombastic. It's <i>something</i>.<br />
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<i><b>So what will win?</b></i><br />
I'd say "Man or Muppet" for all the reasons given above AND songs from <i>The Muppet Movie</i> (1979) and <i>The Great Muppet Caper</i> (1981) were previously nominated, so maybe the Academy has some love for the Muppets. Plus, I have a 50/50 chance of being right. I like them odds.<br />
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<i><b>Analysis</b></i><br />
Before this year's Golden Globes, I listened to the five nominees for <i>their </i>Best Original Song category. Even though the Globes and the Oscars disagree on this category more than any other, I figured there could be some overlap. I was wrong, of course. It's unfortunate too because "Lay Your Head Down" from <i>Albert Nobbs</i> and the winning "Masterpiece" from Madonna's upcoming directorial debut <i>W.E. </i>are actually listenable. But the bestest, most awesome song?<br />
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<b>"Hello, Hello"</b> from <i>Gnomeo & Juliet</i> performed by Elton John and Lady Gaga<br />
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I love this song. It's catchy and a little weird (Come on, it's Elton and Gaga!). The first time I heard it during an impromptu viewing of <i>Gnomeo & Juliet, </i>I thought to myself "Oh fuck all, this will be my number one song." And so it was for several weeks. </div>
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If this was a perfect world, "Hello, Hello" would be nominated for and win the Academy Award for Best Original Song 2011. Alas, we live in a world where two mediocre/okayish songs manage to rise above all else. Ugh. I won't give up on this category yet.</div>
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Also, I've been thinking about maybe, MAYBE, doing a Golden Globes Best Original Song comparison retrospective. I could also try to catch songs I missed (aka songs that couldn't be found on Youtube at the time). Hmmmm.</div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-64014917401575815152012-01-07T10:59:00.000-08:002012-01-09T10:47:22.102-08:00My Heart Will Go On or: Is There Life After Boys? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"><b>Story Order:</b> #5</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"><b>Publication Order:</b> #2 (1987)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"><b>Time Covered:</b> 7th Grade</span></div>
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So Linda chose to go to the all-girls private school. Life and adventures awaited her. There was no way readers of <i>We Hate Everything But Boys</i> could stand to not find out what happened to Linda at Huntington. Thus, we get the first legit sequel in the Linda series and we wonder, is there <i>really</i> life after boys?<br />
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<b><i>Plot Summary </i></b><br />
It’s the <i>day before</i> the first day of seventh grade for Linda who is regretting her decision to go to Huntington. Whilst hanging out with The Crowd--Darlene (friend), Suzy (friend), Ken (Suzy’s crush), Harley (Darlene’s crush), Jeff (Linda’s “boyfriend”), and Sue-Ann (that skank who also likes Jeff)--Linda gets tired of hearing about how great a time they’re going to have at the public junior high, 515 and so she runs off. <br />
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Jeff (because he is so fucking perfect in a 1950’s sort of way) runs after her and offers to buy her a soda at the candy store. Later he walks her home, puts his arm around her shoulder and opens the door for her. <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b>As he turned to go, he looked at me, and his blue eyes shone. “Don’t worry, Linda. It won’t matter that you’re going to a different school. You’ve still got your friends. And you’ve still got your boyfriend, too.” He grinned impishly, and then he ran off down the stairs.</b></span></i></blockquote>
Yep, everything’s gonna be <i>allllllllllllllllllllll </i>right. <br />
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So Linda starts Huntington and the only other person she knows is mousy Jan Zieglebaum. Instead of joining any clubs or participating in extra-curricular activities, Linda is anxious to get back home so she can hang out with her friends and Jeff. However, they have their own after school stuff which causes her to cling to Jan and <i>her</i> friends, Rosalie “Roz” Buttons and Fran Zaro. <br />
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Luckily, Darlene invites Linda to play in a coed football game in the park. Linda invites Jan who invites Roz and Fran--which as you can imagine, doesn’t go over too well. Anyway, Jeff tackles Linda in the game and we get a little sexual tension… <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;">For a moment, we just lay there. His body was on top of mine. I could hear his breathing in my ear. I forgot about football. I forgot the pain radiating from my elbow. I forgot Jeff’s weight crushing my chest. All that mattered was that I was lying there in his arms, closer than I had ever been to him before. It was wonderful!</span></i></b></blockquote>
Despite believing that being tackled by Jeff in a weekend football game solidifies her position as girlfriend, Linda is pretty much cut out of The Crowd by Halloween. She is invited to a party (drink!) with Jan, Roz, and Fran, but decides to hold out for better things. Darlene rushes to get Linda invited to Lawrence’s Halloween party (drink!). Sue-Ann is a huge cunt (as usual) but Jeff seems really happy Linda could attend. They even kiss during a weird bob for apples/kissing game. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcxGCf4Dk3m6Rp91DjzFPD_F-Zc5NKpYsuMJFQqozidkABuJASXFT4jXb2wtis_wK4ycRV_3sR8-dKhkpTab4nxn-xOryTSgiHieAo5booyqArSiBTdnQZ6k4PybupGJiD3hpoLFmNj0La/s1600/bobbing+for+apples.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcxGCf4Dk3m6Rp91DjzFPD_F-Zc5NKpYsuMJFQqozidkABuJASXFT4jXb2wtis_wK4ycRV_3sR8-dKhkpTab4nxn-xOryTSgiHieAo5booyqArSiBTdnQZ6k4PybupGJiD3hpoLFmNj0La/s320/bobbing+for+apples.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Hot.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
After Halloween, most of The Crowd joins a Journalism club, so Linda starts hanging out with Jan and her Huntington friends, Merl and Helen. They go ice skating in Central Park and Jan gets sick. While visiting her, Linda hits it off with Fran and Roz. Then she goes to Merl’s birthday party (drink!)<br />
<br />
Then comes the first snowfall and Linda goes to Suzy’s apartment building to ask her to go sledding. She grows nostalgic for the year before when she and Jeff built a snowman and bonded. While staring up at his window, Jeff comes up behind her and informs her that he and Suzy are now a part of the Choral Music Club. He invites her to their concert, but Linda doesn’t have a good feeling about it. <br />
<br />
Linda asks Jan, Fran, Roz, and Roz’s older sister Lily to go as airbags. Linda is ignored by The Crowd, as usual, but Darlene invites her to pizza afterwards. Linda says no, to be loyal to Jan et al. and Jeff goes with his friends. However, every cloud has a silver lining. A hot ninth grade boy named Mark starts flirting with Linda. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilrEF63wi2i93n9C3Dnxok4yguNnPglt1gOe2CRZA9f0mOX5oeHihcChoIQ-ukQVdyA4VQVBF0pLe5W3UOG9N7eTObSy-_wuJELQDVcP9H1fJXWAyr9iPhuaPzYl4I5rdVr-LN7rlnQ5ww/s1600/Unknown-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilrEF63wi2i93n9C3Dnxok4yguNnPglt1gOe2CRZA9f0mOX5oeHihcChoIQ-ukQVdyA4VQVBF0pLe5W3UOG9N7eTObSy-_wuJELQDVcP9H1fJXWAyr9iPhuaPzYl4I5rdVr-LN7rlnQ5ww/s1600/Unknown-1.jpeg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>In my mind, all these "older guys" <br />automatically look like teen idols from when<br />I was 13.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
On a later date, Linda, Jan, etc. go to the ice cream parlor and accidentally sit next to some Older Boys from 515: Mark (dark-haired), Gary (blonde), and Randy (dorky with big ears). Linda realizes that Mark is super nice and that his smile is nicer than Jeff’s!!! <br />
<br />
Then there’s a subplot about the Huntington girls volunteering at the Manhattan School for the Blind…which, yay, good for Linda helping the visually impaired. <br />
<br />
Now back to the good part…Linda decides to have a New Year’s Eve party and invite The Crowd. It’s her last chance! But when she calls around, Darlene and Suzy are already busy and apparently, there isn’t another party going on…so, Linda just has a slumber party (drink!) with Jan, Fran, and Roz. They experiment with makeup and leg shaving! Tee-hee-hee! Then Linda chances to look out the window. <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b><i> Under the glow of the streetlamp I could see them all standing there in front of Marvin Haven’s building. They were all dressed up, for they were going to a real New Year’s Eve party.<br /> </i></b><b><i> They were all there. Everyone who was anyone. Lawrence was standing with his arm around Darlene. Suzy was smiling up at Ken, who was stomping his feet in an attempt to keep warm. Lisa Finklestein and Rena Widmark were hovering around Harley… </i></b><b><i> Then, as I watched, I saw them coming down the block. Jeff Davidson, who used to be my boyfriend, holding the hand of my archenemy, Sue-Ann Fein.</i></b></span></blockquote>
Fran, Roz and Jan comfort Linda and tell her that she’s better off without Jeff and The Crowd. Linda realizes her real friends have been there the entire time! Screw Suzy and Darlene! And screw the memories! The foursome vow to BFF’s 4-eva and only go after older boys! <br />
<br />
So, we’re 85% through <i>Is There Life After Boys?</i> and we’re only to New Year’s. The last two remaining chapters follow Linda and friends in their quest to get the Older Boys to like them back. <br />
<br />
REMEMBER<br />
<ul>
<li>Linda likes Mark (brunette and seemingly perfect)</li>
<li>Fran likes Gary (blonde and a dick)</li>
<li>Roz and Jan like Sheldon (that baseball player from WHEBB)</li>
<li>Nobody likes Randy <span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">☹</span></span></li>
</ul>
Linda and Fran attempt to engage Mark and Gary by asking them questions about photography n’ shit. Then this skank named Sylvia starts flirting with Mark. Apparently, she lead him on but then started dating an older guy. Fran decides the best thing to do is confess her and Linda’s respective feelings for Gary and Mark, because nothing else has worked so far. Amazingly, it sort of works. Week after week, the “couples” practice photography in the park. <br />
<br />
While waiting to meet up with Mark, Gary, and Fran, Linda strolls through the park and sees her old friends watching the boys play a baseball game much like at the end of <i>We Hate Everything But Boys</i>. <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"> “Oh--hi, Linda,” was all Darlene managed to say.<br /> </span></b></i><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"> “What’s so funny?” said Suzy with a nervous giggle.<br /> </span></b></i><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"> “Oh, I don’t know,” I shrugged. “Maybe it’s seeing you all here, just the way you were last year, watching the same boys play ball. It’s like nothing’s changed, and yet, at the same time, everything has.”</span></b></i></blockquote>
Then Linda turns her attention to Jeff on the pitcher’s mound. <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"> As I watched, he tossed in a perfect pitch, striking the batter out. The girls next to me let out a cheer, and Jeff looked up to them for approval. When he looked up his eyes met mine, and for a moment he looked absolutely stunned. Then he smiled a kind of sheepish half-smile and turned his attention to the ball once again.<br /> </span></i></b><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"> I watched him for a moment and found, to my great surprise, that I felt nothing. I could have been watching Harley or Ken, or even Marvin for all the difference it made to me. Jeff just didn’t mean anything to me anymore--it was finally all over.</span></i></b></blockquote>
At that moment, Fran enters with Sexy Mark and Sexy Gary and the girls are left drooling as Linda walks into the future with the Older Boys. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBYLGemPM-MtfqKmv7A9U0xV1qxA7P0UIS7RvpYYbJajzzALhFG8QuZ_zqUJQfrwvWlgkw7BYbP9kqPxdOs6O36-imgvI0jtqxbnRcPl5-5QRqP9SbKT7Z3ns3X59qSdYwpsqhnB84q13F/s1600/nsync-request03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBYLGemPM-MtfqKmv7A9U0xV1qxA7P0UIS7RvpYYbJajzzALhFG8QuZ_zqUJQfrwvWlgkw7BYbP9kqPxdOs6O36-imgvI0jtqxbnRcPl5-5QRqP9SbKT7Z3ns3X59qSdYwpsqhnB84q13F/s320/nsync-request03.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<b><i>Analysis</i></b><br />
I first read <i>Is There Life After Boys?</i> the summer after I graduated from high school. I finally had a debit card and the ability to buy used, out-of-print YAF from Amazon.com. The first thing I ordered was naturally the nine Linda books I didn’t own/previously steal from Oakesdale School District. <br />
<br />
That summer, I started re-reading. The first two prequels were tough, but <i>2 Young 2 Go 4 Boys</i> and <i>We Hate... </i>wetted my appetite. I would finally find out what happened to Linda and her own-true-love Jeff Davidson!!! <br />
<br />
Wah-wah-<i>wahhhhhahhhhhhh</i>. <br />
<br />
The first time I read <i>Is There…</i>, it sent me into such a mild depression that I couldn’t bring myself to finish the series. You see, just finishing high school, I was about to go off to college--a coed college, but college just the same. I was to be separated from all my old friends and my object of affection--not my boyfriend, but separated just the same. <br />
<br />
This book was an unfortunate example that I could lose contact with my high school friends even though we promised to FRIENDS FOREVER! Jordyn no liked, bad medicine. <br />
<br />
Fast forward to 2012. Upon re-reading <i>Is There…</i> a second time, I was less depressed. <br />
<br />
First of all, Linda, Linda, Linda <i>why did you go to Huntington</i>? I mean, I get it. I get it, okay? Education is more important than your social life! You can make friends wherever you go! Real friends are loyal and will stick with you no matter where you go to school! I get it! But Jeff Davidson…there is but one Jeff Davidson and you let him go! <br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAsChXZ39xs9g3YRY9xyxam0cLT5ZXpO6kOk94YOiNQIzr2dOnFI_br_ExaWVf86cdOW4emXz-HmEkWPuKo7n6P3gm4Jw6y8zFWMur6dnLRq09MiSsz05QL5IfNYuknkFbZuGzqMdr_gSm/s1600/images-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAsChXZ39xs9g3YRY9xyxam0cLT5ZXpO6kOk94YOiNQIzr2dOnFI_br_ExaWVf86cdOW4emXz-HmEkWPuKo7n6P3gm4Jw6y8zFWMur6dnLRq09MiSsz05QL5IfNYuknkFbZuGzqMdr_gSm/s1600/images-1.jpeg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Hey, he could look like this one day!</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I guess that’s not fair. In agreeing to be boyfriend-girlfriend, the imaginary contract clearly states that neither party is allowed to cheat. But he’s a twelve/thirteen year old boy. He has no integrity. Of course he’s going to go for Sue-Ann if she’s persistent enough. And Christ, is she. As much as I hate that little twat, she did the work and I’m sorry, Linda, but she d<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">eserves him. (I will admit that Sue-Ann’s only sins are being snotty to Linda. For all we know, she could be a much better match for Jeff. Just sayin’)</span><br />
<br />
Seventh grade relationships die faster than carnival game goldfish, so I’m really only slightly saddened by the exit of Jeff Davidson. What hurts the most is the ending of Linda’s friendship with Darlene and Suzy. They’re were such good friends! Especially Linda and Darlene! They cried together and talked about periods! THEY WERE WHEBB!!! <br />
<br />
Well, life goes on. Linda makes new friends who aren’t as “cool” as the members of The Crowd (my capitalization, btw). So what if Jan is underdeveloped and boys don’t like her? So what if Fran has frizzy hair and a “nutty” personality? So what if Roz…well, I don’t know exactly what’s “wrong” with Roz other than she hangs out with flat-chested Jan and crazy Fran. Whatever. Linda has real friends now, friends she’ll have until the end of the series! <br />
<br />
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<br />
Even though the word BOYS is a part of the title, this isn’t exactly a romantic story. It’s the story of how Linda goes to private school, loses her friends and boyfriend, and then makes new friends and gets a new crush in Mark. (Just Mark, he has yet to be given a last name). Oh, Mark…how…just…very bland you are. I know we haven’t really been given a chance to get to know him, but he seems to have no faults…other than liking that skank Sylvia. (What’s up with that?)<br />
<br />
We have now entered the next phase in Linda’s love life; Older Boys. In the next book, watch as she chases after high school boys as it seems every girl in America does, except me. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; line-height: 19px;">☹</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Useless Character List For My Enjoyment</span></i></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i>Linda Berman </i>- Protagonist (1-5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i>Jeff Davidson</i> - Linda's "boyfriend" (3-5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Sue-Ann Fein</i> - Linda's rival for Jeff </span>(3-5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Darlene Mason</i> - Linda's best friend </span>(3-5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Suzy Kletzel</i> - Linda's best friend </span>(3-5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Ken Wolfson</i> - Suzy's crush </span>(3-5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Harley Silver</i> - Darlene's crush </span>(3-5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i>Jan Zieglebaum</i> - Other girl going to Huntington (4, 5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i>Ira and Joey Berman</i> - Linda's twin little brothers (1-5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i>Mr. and Mrs. Berman</i> - Linda's parents (1-5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i>Jo Rondi</i> - Big sister at Huntington (5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Ms. Bouton </i>- Linda's homeroom teacher </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Merl Marks</i> - Rich friend from Huntington </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Helen Niven</i> - Friend from Huntington </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Samantha Milken </i>- Snotty girl from Huntington </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Mr. Lawton</i> - Hot English teacher at 515 </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i>Mrs. Zieglebaum</i> - Jan's mother (4, 5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Rosalie "Roz" Buttons</i> - Friend of Jan's </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Fran Zaro</i> - Friend of Jan's </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Lisa Finklestein </i>- Girl in the crowd </span>(3-5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i>Lawrence Carlson</i> - "Mature" guy and later Darlene's "boyfriend" (4, 5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i>Marvin Haven </i>- Creep from Linda's building (3-5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Mrs. Marks</i> - Merl's mother </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Nora Whitmire</i> - Merl's snobby and rich friend </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Carla LeClaire</i> - Broadway actress friend of Mrs. Marks </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Ms. Jean Wise</i> - Junior high division head the the Manhattan School for the Blind </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Harriet Crucker</i> - Student at MSB </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Jeremy Layne</i> - Student at MSB </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Lily Buttons</i> - Roz's older sister </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Gary</i> - Older boy Fran likes </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Mark</i> - Older boy Linda starts to like </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Randy</i> - Older boy and friend of Gary and Mark </span>(5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i>Sheldon</i> - Older boy Roz and Jan like (4, 5)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Sylvia</i> - Skank Mark liked earlier in the year </span>(5)</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Linda's Kiss List For My Enjoyment</span></i></b></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Lawrence Carlson (4)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Jeff Davidson (4, 5)</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1891938365508165147.post-75751652912386252622012-01-05T05:34:00.000-08:002012-01-07T16:30:38.099-08:00One Track Minds or: We Hate Everything But Boys <div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><b><i>Story Order:</i></b> #4<br /><b><i>Publication Order:</i></b> #1 (1985)<br /><b><i>Time Covered:</i></b> 6th Grade<br /><br />Here we go. The book that started it all. Without precedent or fanfare came <i>We Hate Everything But Boys</i> in 1985. It was the simple story of Linda Berman and her two best friends who try, <i>desperately</i>, to get their "own-true-loves" to like them back.<br /><br />According to Linda Lewis's website,<i> WHEBB</i> sold 300,000 copies (which I know, is like nothing compared to <i>Twilight</i>, but whatever). As simple as it was, something about the book spoke to pre-teen girls and thus, a series was launched.<br /><br /><b><i>Plot Summary</i></b><br />Just like <i>2 Young 2 Go 4 Boys</i>, this books begins on the first day of school. Linda is looking for Jeff Davidson, "the most important boy in her life". We are given a brief recap of how the former Tomboy lost her heart on the basketball court when Jeff knocked her down and then graciously took her hand to help her up. Linda hopes that she and Jeff will be in the same sixth grade class, but oh fie! Jeff is in 6-3 (along with Linda's bestie: redheaded, voluptuous Darlene Mason) and she is in 6-1 with her other bestie: chubby and giggly Suzy Kletzel. Also in 6-1 are Harley Silver and Kenton Wolfson, Darlene's and Suzy's respective crushes.<br /><br />After a flirtatious (?) run-in with their guys after school, Linda laments being an eleven year old girl in love with an eleven year old boy.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b><i>"Love!" giggled Suzy. "Do you really love Jeff Davidson?"<br /> </i><i>"Well, put it this way--I'm crazy about him! He's so cute in his lovable chubby way. He's got a great sense of humor and is always doing something that makes me laugh. When he smiles, it just sends shivers through me!"</i></b></span></blockquote>
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The trio then decides to do the most sixth grade thing ever and start a club whose one goal is to learn how the boys really feel about them. They name their club We Hate Everything But Boys or WHEBB for short. Then they buy sailor hats and write the name of their crush on the inside. You see, they figure the boys will get curious about what "WHEBB" means and...start to like them...(Oh, sixth graders and their logic!)<br />
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Naturally, the plan backfires and instead of being mesmerized by the sailor hats, Jeff, Harley, and Ken steal them in a game of keep-a-way. The girls' secrets are revealed and everyone is humiliated. WHEBB decides to lay low until the whole thing blows over.<br />
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Weeks later, things seem to be okay when Jeff smiles at Linda from the pitcher's mound during a baseball game. However, Jeff has another admirer in snotty Sue-Ann Fein. And then Darlene gets sexually harassed by some older guys. She and Linda run away but Darlene is naturally upset that her over-developed figure brings her such negative attention. Linda reassures her that the other girls are jealous and in time, she won't stick out so much.<br />
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Over the next few months, nothing big happens. Nerdy Jan Zieglebaum has a birthday party without boys, so WHEBB starts prank calling their crushes in one of the bedrooms. They get in trouble. Then the sixth grade girls take an entrance exam for Huntington, a prestigious all-girls private school. Linda wants to do well on the test, but can't imagine going to an all-girls school and being away from Jeff. <br />
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After the first snowfall, she and Jeff have a snowball fight which brings them closer together. Linda gets herself invited to his birthday party, but then gets uninvited after getting into a fight about something so stupid and forgettable that I refuse to look it up even though the book is sitting right in front of me.<br />
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Then Ken has a party. A boy-girl party. (Seriously, drink every time someone has a party in this series.) Lawrence Carlson, a new and apparently "mature guy" likes Darlene. At the shindig, Linda is asked to dance by Jeff, but she realizes she has chicken pox and doesn't want to get him sick. (Yes, yes, she did the right thing. But if I had the chance to slow dance with my sixth grade crush, he would have gotten infected.)</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold...</i></td></tr>
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Linda learns that she--and Jan Zieglebaum--passed the Huntington test. Of course, her parents, principal, and teacher, Miss Delaney, want Linda to go to Huntington but her friends want her to stay with them at 515, the pubic junior high. If only she had a boyfriend to help her make that decision...<br />
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As the school year winds to a close, Linda, Suzy and Darlene each buy an autograph book with the intent of getting their guys to sign their sixteenth page...which is meant for the one you love...and everyone knows this, according to Darlene, and if not, they're living in the dark ages. Darlene's is signed by Lawrence who she's decided is more of a man than Harley.<br />
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Linda succeeds in getting Jeff to sign her sixteenth page:</div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"> <b> The door is locked; the key is in the cellar.<br /> There's no one home but Linda and her feller. <br /> (Jeff)</b></span></i><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b> Seriously, I hope this graduation is the foundation of</b></span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b> your education whether you go on to Huntington or 515.<br /> Your boyfriend,<br /> Jeff Davidson</b></span></i><br />
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Then he turns right around and signs Sue-Ann's sixteenth page.<br />
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Yeah. <br />
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Not long after, Linda decides to go to Huntington, mostly because her parents stress the importance of education. Suzy and Darlene are pissed, but Linda claims nothing will change; they'll see each other plenty after school. <br />
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Hotshot Lawrence has a--you guessed it!--party to celebrate graduation. This one is formal which means Linda needs a new dress and, gulp!, a BRA. Lawrence orchestrates a game of Post Office and even though Linda is peeved at Jeff for jerking her around, she still wants to go in the closet with him. First she gets called by Marvin Haven who kisses her on the cheek and then Lawrence who gives her her first real kiss. Then she is called by Jeff!</div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"> <b>He bent down and kissed me hard on the lips. I had just started to enjoy it when he </b></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b>started laughing again! I shoved him away. Enough was enough! He hadn't paid </b></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b>attention to me all night and now this!</b></span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b> "So that's your idea of a Special Delivery kiss! Well you can just call Sue-Ann's </b></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b>number from now on!"</b></span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b> "Hey, wait a minute!" He was still laughing.</b></span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b> "What?"</b></span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b> "Just this!" He bent down and kissed me again. </b></span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b> This time it was a real kiss. It was kind of awkward. It was not as sexy as Lawrence's. </b></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b>But you could tell meant it. I closed my eyes and wished it could go on forever. But </b></span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;">neither </span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;">of us knew how to make a kiss last.</span></i></b></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b> "Better?" he asked.</b></span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b> "Much better," I said breathlessly.</b></span></i><br />
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And if that doesn't seal the deal for you, Jeff gives her note written on a napkin before leaving the party:</div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b>Open this up and you will see--</b></span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b>That I like you better than Fein,</b></span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><b>really I do.</b></span></i></div>
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So, everything worked out for the best. Jeff likes Linda, not Sue-Ann. Lawrence likes Darlene, to hell with Harley. And Suzy...well, there isn't anything about Suzy, but one assumes that nothing ever happens between her and Ken. Semi-happy endings for all.<br />
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Sort of...you see, a few days after this party, Linda goes to a baseball game and notices a ninth grader named Sheldon who is hot. She forgets all about Jeff for a second and wonders if an older boy will ever replace her own-true-love. (My guess is yes if she's already thinking about someone else days after she kissed him!)<br />
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The novel ends on a sort of downer note. Linda graduates. She remembers everything she went through and then...<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;"><i><b>Closing exercises are over. I'm walking out of the auditorium. No one is holding hands now. I'm walking by myself.</b></i></span></span></blockquote>
<b><i>Analysis</i></b><br />
Christ, where to start? First of all, I've read <i>We Hate Everything But Boys</i> more than any other book. I had always been a, how can I put this?, <i>romantically charged</i> young lady. Some call it boy crazy, but I wasn't crazy for all boys or even several boys. I found one and then stuck with him for years--yes, years--on end. In the fifth grade, I didn't have any friends who were like me in this respect, so I turned to literature. On the bookshelf of my classroom's piddly library, probably next to a copy of <i>Island of the Blue Dolphins</i>, was <i>We Hate Everything But Boys</i>. <br />
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I devoured it in one sitting, much like I did yesterday for this review. For the first time, I found characters who felt what I felt. Boys were the whole reason they got up and went to school. Every waking thought was spent on that one guy. Besides this book inspiring my entire writing career, it also helped me through sixth grade.<br />
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That being said, <i>WHEBB</i> just doesn't do it for me anymore. Oh, I still like it and all, but you know...I sort of grew out of it. This time around, I couldn't help but cringe at some of Linda's behavior. And I was a little bit harsher on the pacing and plot points.<br />
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First of all, Tomboy Linda is gone. There isn't even one throwaway comment like "I used to be a Tomboy but now I love boys!!!" She isn't completely a girly girl; bras and periods still freak her out and she never misses the chance to be physical with Jeff...and by that I mean, she chases him, steals his stuff, and has two snowball fights with him.<br />
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Oh, Jeff Davidson...I do still like you, you irritating little shit. You like Linda, then Sue-Ann. You're nice, then you're a dick...Suddenly, my entire romantic life makes sense to me...<br />
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Anyway, analysis...Linda, Suzy, and Darlene start a club devoted to learning the true feelings of Jeff, Ken, and Harley. Great. I'm sure many a sixth grade girl has done something better. But the sailor hats? Fashion aside, why the FUCK would you write "I like [insert crush's name here]" inside anything you take out in public?? Seriously, they were just asking for it.<br />
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And along with this, I was so surprised how many people knew Linda liked Jeff. She cheers for him (and against her own class's team) OUT LOUD. Repeatedly "shapely legged" Rena and rival Sue-Ann tease her about liking him. Having been in the position of having everyone know who I liked myself, I can't understand why Linda doesn't just lie. Or act. I guess liking someone at PS 373 isn't as much cause for gossip as it was at Oakesdale Elementary circa 1999.<br />
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Anyway...analysis. I was also surprised by Darlene being sexually harassed. Following that scene, Darlene also describes a similar situation when a son of her mother's friend <i>attacked her in his bedroom</i>. I know it happens and probably more often to girls as developed as Darlene, but fuck, you don't find it in light-hearted YAF of the 80's. Who would think something with this cover would contain sexual assault?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Second edition cover. Circa 1990.</span></i></td></tr>
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Now, about that ending...Maybe this says too much about me, but there is no way in hell I would have ever gone to an all-girls school. <i>Especially not at age 11 and <b>especially not if I had a "boyfriend"</b></i> like Jeff claims to be for Linda. But we most follow our own paths and if Linda wants to do it, I'm sure it'll work out for her...<br />
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But that wasn't the only thing that irritated my eleven year old heart after reading and re-reading <i>WHEBB</i>. Sheldon. <i>Sheldon</i>. That random guy Linda briefly eyefucks. Just who is he and what is he doing disrupting my happy ending? Linda and Jeff are meant to be! Elementary love is pure and forged before hormones completely take over our common senses. Go away, Sheldon! Linda doesn't need your straight black hair and muscles and deep, post ball-dropping voice.<br />
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Oh. Oh, yes. I see now.<br />
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At eleven, I still hated the ending. I even ripped out the last pages so it ended right after Jeff gives Linda the note at the party. Seriously. I had to buy a new copy in 2006. So, after spending one year coming to grips with her romantic side and another year pining and chasing after the Jeff Davidson, Linda finally gets him. But already it's not enough.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;"><b><i>Useless Character List For My Enjoyment</i></b></span></div>
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<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;"><i>Linda Berman</i> - Protagonist (1-4)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;"><i>Suzy Kletzel</i> - Linda's giggly best friend (3, 4)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><i>Darlene Mason</i> - Linda's mature best friend </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">(3, 4)</span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><i>Jeff Davidson </i>- Linda's "own-true-love" </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">(3, 4)</span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><i>Marvin Haven</i> - Creep from Linda's building </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">(3, 4)</span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;"><i>Ira and Joey Berman</i> - Linda's twin brothers in the second grade (1-4)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;"><i>Mr. and Mrs. Berman</i> - Linda's parents (1-4)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;"><i>Mrs. Birnbaum </i>- Teacher of Jeff and Darlene's class (4)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><i>Mr. Wohl</i> - Principal of PS 373 </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">(3, 4)</span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;"><i>Miss Delaney</i> - Strict teacher of Linda's class (4)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><i>Harley Silver </i>- Conceited and handsome crush of Darlene's </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">(3, 4)</span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><i>Kenton Wolfson</i> - Harley's second banana; Suzy's crush </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">(3, 4)</span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><i>Steven Warshinsky</i> - Nerd in Linda's class </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">(3, 4)</span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><i>Rena Widmark</i> - Bossy girl with shapely legs in Linda's class </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">(3, 4)</span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;"><i>Jan Zieglebaum</i> - Mousy, nerdy girl in Linda's class (4)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><i>Lisa Finklestein</i> - Snobby, beautiful rich girl in Linda's class </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">(3, 4)</span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><i>Sue-Ann Fein</i> - Stuck up girl who likes Jeff </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">(3, 4)</span></span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;"><i>Roger Hall</i> - Older bully who harasses Darlene (4)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;"><i>Georgie Johnson</i> - Roger's buddy (4)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;"><i>Mrs. Zieglebaum</i> - Jan's mother (4)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;"><i>Mrs. Davidson</i> - Jeff's mother (4)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;"><i>Mr. Wolfson </i>- Ken's father (4)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;"><i>Miss Chester</i> - Substitute teacher for Linda's class (4)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;"><i>Lawrence Carlson</i> - Mature sixth grade boy who likes Darlene (4)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;"><i>Sheldon</i> - Older boy that Linda thinks is hot (4)</span></li>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><b><i>Linda's Kiss List For My Enjoyment</i></b></span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;">Lawrence Carlson (4)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;">Jeff Davidson (4)</span></li>
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</div>Jordynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805089410734429593noreply@blogger.com0