Reverend LaSalle: "I shall pray for you, Bean. This land abounds in ruffians and varmints. Their numbers are legion, their evil skills commensurate." Bean: "Piss on 'em."
I am almost willing to bet my toes that you have never seen or heard of The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean. Considering it's a star vehicle for Paul Newman, directed by John Huston, and written by John Milius, that is quite a fucking feat. But in spite of the big names attached (and for reasons unknown to me) it fell into obscurity, reduced to a footnote on the epic resumes of the three legends of film.
So how in the hell did I see it?
Call it Fate if you will, but The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean was one of the few VHS's my father owned and so it was watched alongside my Disney Animated Features. Ah, yes, another movie from my childhood. It is with a heavy heart that I admit TLATOJRB is the one and only western on Jordyn's Canonized List of Favorite Movies*, but let's see what makes it so damn special, shall we?
The opening title card states Maybe this isn't how it was...it's the way it should have been, as we watch Roy Bean (Paul Newman) cross the Pecos River; the thin blue line that separates law and order from rattlesnakes and bad men. At a nearby brothel/saloon, Bean is robbed by the bandits n' whores within and then dragged behind a horse and left for dead. With the aid of a pretty Mexican girl named Marie Elena (Victoria Principal), he takes his vengeance and then claims the brothel and land for his own and appoints himself as judge.
In the next ten years or so (they're never quite clear on when the film begins), Judge Roy Bean rules over the area with his guns, hanging rope, and loyal marshals -- Bart Jackson (Jim Burk), Nick the Grub (Matt Clark), Fermel Parlee (Bill McKinney), Whorehouse Lucky Jim (Steve Kanaly) and Tector Crites (Ned Beatty), who takes over as bartender and narrator.
It isn't until about halfway through the film when a plot presents itself; Frank Gass (Roddy McDowall), a lawyer from the East, comes to claim the land as the rightful owner. But before that, we get cameos from Anthony Perkins, John Huston and Stacy Keach and a lot of scenes with a bear (played by an actual bear named Bruno) that PETA would shudder at if this film were made today.
A character driven western is about as easily found as a plot driven indie film...oh SNAP! While most westerns are about a conflict (i.e. treasure hunting, taking revenge, killing Injuns, protecting Indians, etc.), The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean is a character study and not much else. While Bean is a fairly static character -- determined, stubborn, and a little egotistical -- the people around him, and more importantly, the town of Langtry, mature and grow where he cannot. Ironically, Bean waxes rhapsodic about bringing law, order, respectability, and civilization to Langtry, but with it, he loses his importance because he has an inability to grow with the town.
Along with westerns being very plot/action heavy, they are also sausage festivals. The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean isn't a glaring exception but it's take on male-female relationships is worth discussing. One of the more appealing quirks of the Judge is his obsessive yet endearing infatuation of English actress Lillie Langtry (portrayed by Ava Gardner in dozens of posters and in cameo). Time and time again he praises her beauty and talent without ever actually seeing her perform. But because he can't be with the one he loves, he loves the one he's with, Marie Elena, the senorita who saved his ass in the beginning of the film.
In my most recent viewing, I was surprised at how often her character was present on screen even if Victoria Principal isn't given much to do other than watch Paul Newman adoringly, disparagingly, or to react to the goings-on at the Jersey Lilly saloon. Marie Elena's acceptance of always being second to Lillie Langtry is both heartbreaking and understandable; the audience knows as I think she does, when it comes right down to it, the Judge loves Marie Elena more, but it's one hell of a trip getting there.
One could write a senior thesis on the representation of women in the American western, so I will try to keep my conjectures to a minimum. I only wish to say that this movie presents both Marie Elena -- who bears a bastard child to the Judge -- and Lillie Langtry -- a known mistress of Edward VII -- in a positive light and as creatures worth protecting and cherishing despite their hymenlessness.
Onto something technical...as for the audio/visual side of things, well, I watched a literally 22 year VHS tape on a 18 year old VCR hooked up to a 13 year old TV, so as you can imagine, what I've seen and heard wasn't all that and a bag of chips. However, in the case of westerns, the grittier it looks the better. As with all westerns made after the advent of color, it has a sepia tone overlaying every frame. The score is haunting, underplayed and not a bit bombastic until the ending where it is called for. Also, if I didn't mention "Marmalade, Molasses, and Honey" a cheesy Andy Williams Oscarbait song, I would kick myself. It's pretty awesome even if it doesn't really fit anywhere in the movie.
The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean is a deeper film than one may figure at first glance. As with any film, it is not perfect and suffers from a few pacing problems and a general meandering until the introduction of Frank Gass and the plot. However, it will remain my favorite western and a movie I will force upon anyone who mentions the genre to me.
There's just no way around it. No one can write a proper review of Some Kind of Wonderful without first discussing Pretty in Pink. So let's grit our teeth and think of our favorite Hollywood celebrity while we go through this, okay?
In 1986, John Hughes wrote and produced a film about an arty and fashionable (but smart!) poor girl named Andie (Molly Ringwald) who (for some reason) starts liking dreamboat rich kid Blane (Andrew McCarthy). And (also for some reason) he likes her back. All would be fine and dandy if it weren't for Duckie (John Cryer) Andie's quirky and fashionable (but straight!) best friend who carries a not-so-secret torch for her. Also, Blane's typical asshole BFF Steff (James Spader) also (for some reason) likes Andie and gets jealous when she goes for Blane! Uh-oh!
Pop quiz! Who do you think Andie ends up with?
A. Duckie, obviously! He's the faithful best friend who's always been there for her!
B. Blane. I mean, it's Andrew McCarthy! No one was hotter in 1986 than Andrew McCarthy.
C. No one. Andie realizes she's only 18 and she'll find someone better in college.
D. Steff. He's rich. And everyone in the 80's is obsessed with upward mobility.
If you chose B, then you've seen the movie before, you cheater! Yes, yes...at THE PROM Blane confesses his "love" for Andie, and Duckie gives up and sends her after him. Then she and Blane make out in the parking lot as the credits roll.
While Andie the Character's decision making process could be discussed ad nauseam (and has), it is not important to us. What is important is that it wasn't the ending John Hughes wanted. He, all along, intended for Andie and friend-zonee Duckie to live happily ever after. But test audiences and studio execs and Molly Ringwald preferred Andrew McCarthy's Blane. Thus the ending was changed and in retaliation, John Hughes wrote a script where the best friend and the main character end up together. (Oops...spoilers).
Some Kind of Wonderful is the story of Keith Nelson (Eric Stoltz), an aspiring artist from a lower-middle class neighborhood. His best friend (and only friend, really) is Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson) a drumming tomboy from a broken home. But underneath her punky clothes and tough attitude, Watts is secretly in love with Keith and perfectly content to keep it secret. That is, until he falls for Amanda Jones (Lea Thompson), The Most Beautiful Girl in School. Alas, she is dating handsome, rich, philandering, materialistic jerkass Hardy Jenns (Craig Sheffer).
Does it sound kind of familiar so far? Yes, well, this is one of the many reasons people didn't take to SKOW. Most saw it as a gender reversed Pretty in Pink. Which I'll admit, on a bare bones level, it is. I could sit here and write an entire compare/contrast essay on these two movies, highlighting every Watts vs. Duckie and Hardy vs. Steff point, but that would simply show how these films are far more different than alike. So here is where we say goodbye to Pretty in Pink and concentrate solely on Some Kind of Wonderful.
So, after our initial introduction, Keith gets it into his head to ask Amanda out on a date. She says yes, but mostly just to piss Hardy off. Amanda's friends think she's gone crazy and insist she break the date with Keith and go back to Hardy. After all, this upsets their entire social structure. Ya!
Like several of Hughes' films, there isn't really a "plot". Characters just move through their day to day lives and conversations are what turn the tables and raise the stakes. Most of SKOW deals with the characters' reactions to the Keith-Amanda date. And the last third is the date itself.
Without much of a plot, characterization is fucking necessary and this film has it in spades. Even Hardy Jenns, the most easily maligned of our four leads has something to him. Usually we see the prom king at the top of his game, plowing his way through a field of freshmen girls without consequences. But Amanda dumps Hardy because of his cheatin' ways. His pride is hurt. How dare she dump him, the Hardy Jenns? While I think many would just move on, Hardy chooses to take a slow revenge. He made Amanda and now he will destroy her.
Hardy Jenns is one of those villains tailor-made for our hatred. He represents the worst kind of yuppie spawn while still being believable. And that's the kicker. While...ahem, similar characters seem like parodies of themselves, I truly believe there are manipulative bastards just like Hardy who walk the earth.
The Big Asshole on Campus is a teen movie trope we all know and love, but it must be discussed how Amanda Jones is not what you might think. Of course, when we first see her she seems like the typical selfish backstabbing slut-faced ho bag. Her early scenes concern fucking Hardy, sitting in Hardy's car while he torments Keith, sneaking back to school after she's fucked Hardy, and then shamelessly flirting with the driver's ed. teacher to get out of detention. Amanda doesn't do anything particularly bad but she's not a character we necessarily like.
However, she wins some points after finally breaking up with Hardy and accepting a date with Keith. Even when her friend Shayne (Molly Hagan) gives her an opportunity to weasel out of it, Amanda says she couldn't do something like that. (It just one little date, people!) After denying Hardy's attempt at reconciliation, he turns her friends against her and Amanda finds herself friendless and a social pariah. Her date with Keith is all she has left.
During the date is when Amanda really shines and where she gets to defend some of her flaws, which I will lazily put in quote form:
"I don't think anybody thought anything about me other than I look good standing next to him. And I went along with it because I'd rather be with somebody for the wrong reasons than alone for the right ones."
And later:
"I feel so terrible for what I've been doing. I hate feeling ashamed. I hate where I'm from. I hate watching my friends get everything their hearts desire. I gave in to that hatred and turned out what I believed in..."
So, the girl's got issues, but she owns up to her problems. She has every intention of changing her ways.
Admittedly, I hated Amanda Jones through most of my first SKOW viewing. Shockingly, I was on Team Watts so that came with the territory. But as Amanda became more sympathetic and not just a faceless cunt after Keith, I struggled. Being a likable character just made it worse. How could I hate her? I couldn't. For better or worse, Some Kind of Wonderful taught me that not all love interests/girlfriends/what-have-you's aren't all bad. They're just like you and I...only luckier.
At the center of SKOW is Keith Nelson, our atypical 80's teen movie protagonist. Just how is he atypical? For one, he isn't out to just get laid. Sure, it's crossed his mind, but Keith has a deeper interest in Amanda. Unlike Hardy and probably hundreds of others at his high school, Keith wants to discover the real person behind the perfectly coiffed hair. Here we have a character who appreciates physical beauty but knows without inner beauty, there is no point.
But even though Keith has a good heart, he's still an Outcast. As he says:
"I like art. I work in a gas station. My best friend is a tomboy. These things don't fly too well in the American high school."
Art is Keith's true love and for some reason, this makes him Unpopular. His sister claims he is "the weirdest guy" at their school. WHY? Okay, he likes art, but so what? It's not like he dresses like a "freaky art kid" if you know what I mean. He wears jeans and t-shirts, nothing that would attract negative or positive attention. In the crowd scenes at school he isn't harassed, just ignored.
As for the gas station, I find it admirable and impressive that Keith works there. It's obviously not his first choice but he embraces it and actually fixes the cars. We see he is logical/mechanical along with his emotional/artistic tendencies.
While Keith is a fine main character with depth and personality, I think everyone would agree that Some Kind of Wonderful is Watts' movie.
On the outside she's a tough-as-nails, slightly androgynous punk rock chick. She drums, she smokes, she wears boys underwear and she has no qualms about shoving a drumstick up your nose if you cross her. You don't fuck with Watts. But because this is a John Hughes movie, Watts is more than a stereotype. Underneath her leather jacket and baggy tank tops beats the heart of a loving, sensitive individual.
It's established Watts' home life is pretty shitty and she and Keith have been friends since at least the third grade. Although we are never given a window into the origins of their friendship, it's my belief that Keith was Watts' savior of sorts; she could go hang out at his home instead of at her own broken one. It seems natural she would fall in love with him as they entered adolescence.
As for Watts' tomboy image, it probably began as a way of fitting in with her one-off mentioned brothers and then became an easy guise. Watts feels for Keith so deeply it frightens her so she over-compensates by acting and dressing like a butch bitch. Unfortunately she is stuck in her own imagine and Keith doesn't think of her as a "girl". But that's the tomboy's lament; should I smile because I'm your friend or cry 'cause that's all I'll ever be?
Watts has the most interesting character arc in the film. Of course she is jealous when Keith mentions his interest in Miss Amanda Jones, but she believes he doesn't have a shot in hell. And there's no use fretting over something so unlikely.
Watts: "You couldn't score her in a million years. A. You're too closed up and shy to even approach her and B. she'd kill you. Chicks like her have one thing on their mind and you don't make enough of it to matter to her." Keith: "You can't judge a book by its cover." Watts: "Yeah, but you can tell how much it's gonna cost." Keith: "Whoa, that's deep." Watts: "You want shallow call Amanda Jones."
As SKOW continues on, Watts maintains her suspicion and jealousy. She's certain Amanda is playing some horrible prank to get her evil bitch rocks off. Watts and Keith eventually quarrel over it and we see that her jealousy is more than just romantic; if Keith dated anyone, let alone Amanda, he wouldn't have any time for her and she would be utterly friendless, cause let's face it, girlfriends don't like girl friends.
Then Keith learns of Hardy's plan to invite him and Amanda to a party after their date so he and his sycophants can beat the shit out of him. Keith, foolishly, still wants to go on the date. Watts agrees to help him prepare for it and offers to chauffeur the couple so she can be close to the action.
Mary Stuart Masterson's performance is like a soliloquy. No one but the audience sees Watts' love and jealousy and secret triumphs and painful realizations. The only character she interacts with is Keith and he's too caught up in his own shit to notice anything. The viewers feel closer to Watts because we have a deeper insight into her internal thoughts and we end up caring more about her than Keith.
There are so many wonderful moments in this performance, such as the scene where Watts tries to make Keith jealous by flirting with some random guy. Her bubbly out-of-character "Keith! Hi! What's up?" is great...
...as is her reaction when the guy congratulates Keith on his date with Amanda.
Of course the most memorable moment of the movie is the practice kissing scene. On the day of the big date, Watts asks Keith whether or not he feels he can deliver a kiss that will sweep Amanda off her feet and then offers her services as practice run. It's a great scene that is better watched than explained by me.
In a way, it's a little sad and masochistic; the only way Watts can get Keith to kiss her is to pretend to be Amanda. Perhaps it was her last little attempt to change Keith's mind about the date. Maybe if this kiss sweeps him off his feet, he'll call the whole thing off. No dice. However, the kiss is scintillating and my favorite in all of cinema.
In the midst of the love quadrangle action are subplots about Keith's social-climbing sister Laura (Maddie Corman), his budding friendship with skinhead delinquent Duncan (Elias Koteas), and most importantly, Keith's father (John Ashton) who rides his back about going to college. Oh yeah, to pay for this date with Amanda, Keith empties his college fund. His dad is reasonably pissed. And this is where the movie loses me a bit.
Right from the beginning of the film, we know Keith doesn't want to go to college. He wants to be an artist. Still, he works at a gas station and puts the money in the bank, probably to indulge his father. So it doesn't bother me when Keith decides to spend the money on something other than college. But Amanda? I mean, that's $4,200 (I read the production draft of the screenplay). $4,200 for one date. Granted, he buys her a pair of diamond stud earrings which, I dunno, is probably half of that? (Diamonds aren't my best friend).
This is where the materialistic 80's-ness really bleeds through. Keith intends to prove to Amanda that he's just as good as Hardy. But Amanda already knows that money ≠ good guy. Despite using him to get away from her D-bag boyfriend, we see plenty of Amanda's attraction to Keith's endearing charm. She knows he doesn't have money and she doesn't care. This is about Keith proving to himself that he is just as good as Hardy & co. and in the 80's that means $$$.
Watts dutifully drives the couple around but not without an attitude. In fact, she's downright snippy to Keith and tries to sabotage Amanda by hitting the breaks when the girl puts on her lipstick. Of course Watts' petty attempts do nothing even though she does get to say one of the greatest lines in cinema history.
"Break his heart, I break your face."
The first stop is a ritzy restaurant, then an art museum where a Keith painted portrait of Amanda hangs, and thirdly to the Hollywood Bowl. There Keith demands an apology from Amanda for using him. She snaps back that he is using her to get back at all the guys with more money and more power. Keith admits to the faux pas and they call it even. Then he presents Amanda with the earrings. Which again, THAT IS A HUGE FUCKING GIFT! That's like a 25th anniversary gift! Not a first date gift! In fact, no one should get a gift on a first date!
Sigh...whatever. Keith and Amanda kiss and are pretty much on their way to Couplesville. But there is one last stop: Hardy's place. Both Amanda and Watts don't want Keith to confront Hardy, but he insists it's something he has to do. By now Watts has thrown in the towel and waits beside the car as Amanda and Keith venture into a typical teen movie house party.
From here on out, SKOW is...how can I say this? just not...something. Hardy insults Amanda and Keith defends her honor, but the scuffle goes nowhere. Duncan and his thug friends arrive deus ex machina to take out Hardy. Amanda gets in two good slaps and she and Keith exit the house. (Is it just me or would it be cooler if Watts stepped in?)
Sigh...whatever. Then it gets...I dunno...something more. As Keith and Amanda walk towards the car, he has a sudden flashback of kissing Watts. Okay, what the hell brought this on? I mean, he just triumphed over Hardy, he has Amanda, why now?
Watts, defeated, says her goodbyes and apologizes to Amanda for misjudging her. She walks off with Keith watching her like she's suddenly Botticelli's Venus. Amanda recognizes his gaga expression and gives back the earrings.
"Remember how I said I would rather be with someone for the wrong reasons than alone for the right ones? I'd rather be right. It's gonna feel good to stand on my own. Here. In your heart you wanted to give these to somebody else. Go. Go on."
And so the princess learns a lesson, and an invaluable lesson it is. In fact, I quote this to anyone in a relation-shit. I've often wondered what would happen if Amanda had not been strong enough to be single. How long would she and Keith go steady? Hmmm...Luckily we'll never know although it must be said that Amanda is now completely friendless. What happens to her?
Anyway, Keith kisses Amanda on the cheek and runs after Watts. As she walks down the street, wiping the tears from her face, she hears Keith calling for her. She turns. He smiles. He runs to her, picks her up and twirls her around. They kiss.
I will say this, Some Kind of Wonderful has taken us for a ride. The first time I watched it I didn't know who Keith would end up with or if he would end up with anyone. Let me repeat that: The first time I watched it I didn't know who Keith would end up with or if he would end up with anyone. Can you honestly say that about any other teen/romantic comedy? No, you can't...unless you're talking about an indie film, but that's a horse of a different color.
After watching this movie dozens of times, I still don't understand why Keith changes his mind at the moment he does, other than the fact that the screenplay requires it. Even I, who is in love with this movie, can admit that it's out of nowhere. While we see how clearly Watts pines for Keith, we never see him show the slightest bit of romantic interest in her. Maybe the kissing scene. But remember he's supposed to be pretending Watts is Amanda, so...
Don't get me wrong! Keith and Watts should be together! And I am thrilled with the ending. Much of what I love about Some Kind of Wonderful is what it isn't. I love how no Brat Pack or John Hughes alumni are in this movie! I love how there is no gross-out comedy or inane comic relief. I love that it's just a date between Keith and Amanda, not to THE PROM. (Although if it were a date to THE PROM, the negative reaction from the preppies would be more understandable). I love how Keith isn't a football player and Amanda isn't a cheerleader. And most of all I love how Watts doesn't endure the dreaded makeover montage. Just imagine if she did...
Instead, Watts remains true to herself and still wins the guy. She doesn't drastically change her personality either, but matures as a result of being forced to deal with another person within her and Keith's private association. And Keith, having been through an adventure himself, decides he was chasing after something that doesn't exist. Keith forgoes the materialistic desire of having gratuitous arm candy. Keith chooses the real woman who actually knows him and cares about him.
Freddy: “Little Nancy. Now that you've caught me, what game do you wanna play next?” Nancy: "Fuck you!" Freddy: "Ooh, sounds like fun. But it's a little fast for me."
Genre: Horror Year: 2010 Rated: R
Starring
Rooney Mara as Nancy Holbrook
Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy Krueger
Kyle Gallner as Quentin Smith
Thomas Dekker as Jesse Braun
Katie Cassidy as Kris Fowles
Kellan Lutz as Dean Russell
Connie Britton as Gwen Holbrook
Clancy Brown as Alan Smith
Plot: A child molester, murdered by the parents of the community, takes his revenge by killing their children in their dreams.
Tagline: Welcome to your new nightmare.
First Viewing: May 2010 in theaters. Added to the list: 2010.
Comments
If you may have noticed, I'm not really a horror fan. As I previously stated in my blog post about Scream (1996), it is not because of the gore or the gratuitous nipples or the treatment of young pretty things as they are stalked by knife wielding maniacs. No, it's the lack of motive of these said maniacs. Now as "scary" as someone killing for the sake of killing or someone killing because a little voice tells them too is...it's just not interesting to me. In my opinion, if someone is going to go around hacking teenagers to bits, they better have a good fuckin' reason.
Because I am writing about the 2010 remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street, I must warn you that this post will contain references to the 1984 original. This isn't a compare and contrast essay, but comparisons will be made because my enjoyment of this film is directly related to faults (in my opinion) to the original. First, a little history:
Way back in high school, I would fall asleep with the TV on, usually to Encore because it was the only movie channel on our limited cable package. For some reason, they had a propensity to show the many Nightmare on Elm Street sequels in a random order. Thus, A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge was the first one I saw. Next was A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, then Wes Craven's New Nightmare and finally the original from 1984. (I still have yet to see parts 3, 4, 6 and Freddy vs. Jason) Anyway, the point is, I was quite aware of Freddy Krueger's legacy as one of the great slasher villains. I was also quite aware that the sequels were mindless cash-ins trying to copy the apparently amazing original film.
So imagine my disappointment when I attempted to watch the original and fell asleep halfway through. Now if anything is the definition of irony, it's that: a teenager falls asleep during a horror movie about a killer who murders teenagers as they sleep. Obviously, I did not die and I didn't even have a nightmare. Eventually I did see the whole thing, but I was expressly underwhelmed.
Traditionally, I don't like "supernatural" horror. When I like horror, I like realistic horror, something that can actually fucking happen...like being stabbed to death in a shower by a psycho. Or being kidnapped, kept in a hole, and starved until your skin is loose enough to be removed from your body and sewn into a suit by your kidnapper. Ghosts, possession by the devil, killer dolls, Pinhead...none of that shit scares me. But despite all this, I liked the concept of A Nightmare on Elm Street and wanted to like it. However, it was just so murkily executed that I couldn't.
So, in the mid-2000's when horror remakes became en vogue, I had high hopes for a Nightmare remake, thinking that maybe, just maybe, some brilliant studio exec would hire a screenwriter to reorganize and strengthen the weaknesses the original. My prayers were answered in 2010.
At the Springwood Diner, we are introduced to our cast of tortured teens: Nancy, slightly alternative and arty, works as waitress. She wakes up Dean, who's nightmare opens the film, and warns him if he falls asleep, he's going to get kicked out. Enter Kris (pretty and blonde, but surprisingly not slutty) who has come to talk to Dean about his past tormented nights. From another booth sits Quentin (also alternative and arty and hot for Nancy) and Jesse (Kris's jealous ex-boyfriend). Dean explains he hasn't slept in days all because of this burnt man in a striped sweater with knives for fingernails. On par, Kris doesn't believe him until he falls asleep and cuts his own throat.
At the funeral, Kris sees a picture of she and Dean when they were young children which is rather peculiar considering they didn't meet until high school. Hmmmm. Kris, Nancy, Jesse, and Quentin compare notes. It's seems they have also had dreams about this finger-knife guy. Hmmmm. But Jesse tells everyone to shut up about it. Kris asks her mother if she knew Dean when she was little, which she suspiciously denies. Hmmmm. And all her pictures from that time in her life are missing. Hmmmm.
Kris's mom leaves for work, leaving Kris home alone. After an episode of falling asleep in class, dreaming of Freddy (let's face it, we all know it's Freddy), and screaming, Jesse grows concerned and comes over to spend the night. They fall asleep together but Kris dreams of Freddy again and is slashed down the torso. Afraid he will be accused of her murder, Jesse GTFO's but is promptly arrested anyway. He too later dies via Freddy.
Fearing they are next, Nancy and Quentin set out on a mission to discover what the fuck is going on. Both stave off sleep with coffee and/or Quentin's ADD pills. Nancy questions her own mother about her mysterious pass and again, the parents deny everything. While snooping through documents, Nancy and Quentin discover a class photo from a preschool featuring them and their dearly departed friends. Nancy's mother is forced to reveal all.
Yes, indeed Little Nancy, Little Quentin, Little Jesse, Little Kris, and Little Dean all attended Badham Preschool together. And there worked Freddy Krueger, a gardener who lived in the basement of the school and simply adored the kids, if you know what I mean. Nancy was his favorite, if you know what I mean. When she and the other children confessed to inappropriate goings-on in his secret cave, the parents ran him out of town. Nancy's mother assumes these nightmares are repressed memories.
Okay...let's stop there and let me go into my first argument on why I like Nightmare '10 more than Nightmare '84. In the original, Freddy is a "filthy child murderer" and allegedly nothing more. Writer/director Wes Craven initially wrote Freddy as a child molester which makes a whole hell of a lot more sense, because really, does anyone just kill children without abusing them first? But since there were these huge child molestation lawsuits going on at the time of filming, Craven changed him to just a murderer. Making him just a murderer always seemed a little stupid to me. Bringing in the sexual factor makes him ten times more frightening.
Quentin is ready to believe this repressed memory theory, but Nancy is uncertain. She goes on the internet looking for the other members of her preschool class and find they have all died under suspicious circumstances. Meanwhile, Quentin falls asleep at swim practice and dreams about what really happened to Freddy: the parents chased him to an abandoned warehouse and burned him alive. Furious with their parents' involvement, Quentin and Nancy surmise that Freddy is innocent and will continue haunting them unless they prove his innocence.
It's onto the preschool, with a quick detour to the drugstore so Quentin can get more pep pills. Nancy has a micronap where Freddy insists she wakes up. As she does, she pulls a piece of his striped sweater out with her. Because her arm is bleeding profusely, Nancy and Quentin go to the hospital, where she is treated and he steals two syringes worth of Adrenaline.
Now it's really onto the preschool. They find Freddy's room (naturally creepy) but no evidence. And then they find the entrance to the secret cave (exceptionally creepy) along with some photos of Nancy. All the memories come rushing back and the two realize he was indeed guilty (well, duh). To end all the madness, Nancy decides to let herself fall asleep and pull Freddy back to the real world where Quentin will be waiting to kill him.
She falls asleep, but when she starts to struggle, Quentin can't wake her up. Freddy explains to her, "I had to keep you awake long enough so when you finally slept, you'd never wake up again." Luckily, Quentin has that Adrenaline and wakes her up just in time. Nancy cuts Freddy's neck and lights the building on fire. She and Quentin go to the hospital and Nancy returns home later that night. For a last minute scare, Freddy pops out of the mirror and kills her mother. (????)
So what else do I like? Well, two big rules of slasher movies (as stated in Scream) are to never have sex and never do drugs. Interestingly, there are no drugs or drinking in Nightmare. The exception is Quentin’s prescription for ADD, which he does abuse but only for the sake of staying awake. But when Nancy is offered the same pills, she refuses and sticks to good ol' coffee.
As for sex, there is no sex to be had! There isn't even a crude joke to spice up the screenplay. This is perhaps the most prude R rated slasher movie in existence. And I love it. Often times, slashers follow the old sex=death trope to a T and it gets rather tedious. It's always the horny kids who die first. But nobody's horny on Elm Street in 2010. In Nightmare '84, there's a scene where Tina and Rod (the equivalent of Kris and Jesse) have very noisy sex at the group's impromptu sleepover. Naturally, Tina is the first to go. But in Nightmare '10, Kris and Jesse simply sleep together and there is no indication that anything lascivious occurred before that.
The "Freddy as a sexual predator" angle no doubt had a bearing on how the character's sexual lives are treated. In this film, the word "sex" is never even uttered. Even the abuse is implied. ("What is the right way? Our kids get up on the stand and tell a room full of people what happened to them?") Perhaps it's a little cowardly not to go balls to wall about the molestation, but this is a slasher not a Lifetime movie. Even the kiddie porn pictures of Nancy are not shown. The viewer is meant to imagine what exactly they show. Frankly, I find it rather refreshing in this day of torture porn.
Then there's the sleep deprivation thing. No, I've never had bad nightmares but I have suffered from insomnia all my life. Sometimes it gets really bad and I don't sleep for a couple days. So I know what it feels like to go a little mad. I was going through one such phase when I saw this movie (all alone in the theater on a Tuesday afternoon). Sometimes all it takes is a little bit of empathy.
I also admire the fact that Freddy's victims are people he's actually had contact with. Murdering the 1984 Elm Street kids is merely a way to take revenge on their parents, the ones who actually persecuted him. In 2010, it's less about the parents killing him and more about the children telling of his awful deeds. I love it when the villain actually knows the protagonist and when the thrust of the conflict stems from their previous relationship. So not only does Freddy take revenge on the children who "betrayed" him, he also gets to spend eternity torturing his favorite victim.
Still, Nightmare '10 is not without its issues, issues that plague the original. Like why does Freddy choose NOWto haunt his tattlers? Why 13 years after the fact? Why not when they were children and still to his liking and more easily terrorized? And if it's something like "his spirit was safely contained until one night when..." then who put his spirit there? And how did it get free? And who freed it?
And then there's that atrocious ending where Freddy's not really dead and he bursts through the mirror to kill Nancy's mom.
Arg. Remnants of the original.
Maybe these questions will be answered in a sequel. Yeah, it's a rule of horror movie-dom that sequels suck, but Jackie Earle Haley (whom I enjoy as Freddy more so than Robert Englund) is contractually obligated for two more Nightmare flicks. And according to IMDb, there's a sequel planned for 2012, so ready or not, here it comes. I'm actually excited. With two main characters still alive, who knows if the questions will be answered or if more questions will be asked.
All in all, it feels good to finally have another horror movie on my List. It was pretty much a cinch when the end credits reused "All I Have to Do is Dream" by The Everly Brothers. A Nightmare on Elm Street is one of those movies I just don't get sick of and, ironically, one I like to fall asleep to.
Favorite Moment
Crosscutting of Quentin preparing the syringe of Adrenaline and Freddy stabbing Nancy.
Catherine Zeta-Jones as Velma Kelly Richard Gere as Billy Flynn
Queen Latifah as Mama Morton
John C. Reilly as Amos Hart
Taye Diggs as The Bandleader
Christine Baranski as Mary Sunshine
Plot: Two murderesses compete for the limelight to avoid the gallows in 1920's Chicago. Based on: “Chicago” the Broadway musical, which was based on the 1943 film Roxie Hart which was based on the murders Setting: Chicago, Illinois; 1920’s.
Tagline: If you can't be famous, be infamous.
First Viewing: Borrowed from my grandma on VHS in January of 2003. Added to the list: Summer of 2003.
Comments
I have this problem with movie musicals. Generally, I hate them the first time I watch them and then, for some reason, I end up watching them again and I grow to really enjoy them. In some cases, the musical even gets added to My List. (Okay, in two cases.) But Chicago is one of the lucky two. I bet you can't wait to find out why either.
It's the jazz age Chicago, Illinois when folks made bath tub gin and Al Capone did the Charleston on a flag pole. Crime is running rampant. Women are lifting their skirts, flattening their breasts and bobbing their hair. It's a crazy, trashy time when young (?) Roxie Hart watches as the Velma Kelly performs at the Onyx nightclub and is shortly arrested for killing her adulterous husband and sister (and half of her act) Veronica.
Meanwhile, Roxie is carrying on an affair with Fred Casely, a furniture salesman with apparent connections down at the Onyx. A month passes and starstruck Roxie still hasn't been given her own act. Fred has grown tired of Roxie and tells her she has no talent. So Roxie pulls her husband's pistol from her bureau and blows him away.
When her husband Amos returns from work, she convinces him to cover for her. But when it's discovered that Fred is indeed not a burglar, Roxie is taken down to the clink and introduced to prison matron Mama Morton and the six merry murderesses. Roxie tries to befriend Velma and ask her for career advice but is rebuffed.
Mama takes pity on Roxie and hooks her up with Illinois's best criminal lawyer, Billy Flynn who is currently representing Velma. Amos, eager to get his wife out of prison, agrees to gather $5,000 to pay for her defense. Roxie's image as America's Sweetheart is created along with her defense that she and Fred Casely "both reached for the gun." Velma is pushed out of the spotlight and tries and fails to get on Roxie's good side.
However, a triple homicide threatens to steal Roxie's thunder, so she fakes a pregnancy which speeds up her trial. Velma is brought in as a witness for the prosecution. She brings Roxie's diary with her which has a confession to Fred's murder. Billy accuses the D.A. of tampering with evidence and berating him for making a bargain with Velma. (Billy is actually the culprit).
Eventually, Roxie is found innocent. But stardom does not follow. Instead, the press moves on to a new murder. Amos realizes the pregnancy was faked and leaves Roxie. She makes the rounds trying to get into showbiz. Velma finds her and suggests they join forces despite their mutual hatred. The two become a huge success and live happily ever after...
Chicago is one of those movies on The List that doesn't strike an emotional chord with me. I don't identify with the characters. Not even on that "I-desperately-want-to-be-famous!" level. (That passed in kindergarten). In fact none of the characters in this story are even remotely sympathetic, maybe with the exception of Amos. But he's such a fool, you can only feel a twinge of pity for him.
So why, oh why, do I like this movie? Well, it's a musical, so the music is a HUGE reason. Possibly the most important reason. All of the songs are likable, catchy, and fun to sing. And according to Wikipedia, each of the songs are based on a certain style of vaudeville. Here are so examples (stolen from Wikipedia!):
"When You're Good to Mama" - a Sophie Tucker/Mae West/Pearl Bailey double entendre song.
"Roxie" - an autobiographical, observational stand up comedy routine ala Fanny Brice.
"Mr. Cellophane" - a clown number reminiscent of Bert Williams.
Along with the music, I also love the production design of this movie. It's what I like to call trashy chic. All of the opulence and grand romantic design of the Victorian and Edwardian eras is slowly deteriorating because those jazz age kids have too many other things on their minds than to take care of their parents' antiques. This is definitely reflected in the opening scene at the Onyx Club. What was probably once a grandiose theatre has turned into sleazy speakeasy.
What must not be forgotten is before Chicago was a Kander & Ebb musical, it was the real life murder trials of Beulah Annan and Belva Gaertner.
Only a smidgen of similarity remains in the original Velma and Roxie. Belva Gaertner (the inspiration for Velma) was an alcoholic cabaret singer who shot her married lover when she discovered he was leaving her. Gaertner was later acquitted of the crime. Beulah Annan moved from Kentucky to Chicago with her auto mechanic husband. She soon began having an affair. After an argument, Annan shot him in the back and then convinced her husband to take the fall. Her story changed several times. By the time of the trial, Annan claimed she had told her paramour she was pregnant, they struggled and both reached for the gun. Annan was also acquitted.
This real life happening has been the inspiration for several fictional adaptations. Maurine Dallas Watkins, a journalist in 1920's Chicago who had reported on the Gaertner and Annan trials eventually wrote the story as a stage play in 1926. One year later, the play was adapted to the silver screen and produced by Cecil B. DeMille. 1942 had another, sanitized version entitled Roxie Hart, where Ginger Rogers in the title role confesses to the murder to gain popularity, even though it was her husband who did the deed.
In the late 60's Bob Fosse's wife read the original play and wondered if it could be adapted. Maurine Dallas Watkins had since become a born again Christian and believed her play glamorized violence and that hedonistic lifestyle. But when she died in 1969, her estate sold the rights. Finally, in 1975, John Kander and Fred Ebb wrote the music to Chicago while Bob Fosse directed and choreographed.
That's just some regurgitated history on Chicago that you could get off of Wikipedia, but I just wanted to pad this blog entry a bit. Anyway...I love Chicago. End of post.
Amanda: "Why are you dressed like that? Why are you dressed like somebody died?"
Wednesday: "Wait."
Title:Addams Family Values
Genre: Comedy
Year: 1993
Rated: PG-13
Starring
Joan Cusack as Debbie Jellinsky
Christina Ricci as Wednesday Addams
Christopher Lloyd as Uncle Fester
Raul Julia as Gomez Addams
Anjelica Huston as Morticia Addams
Plot: A black widow posing as a nanny takes care of the Addams' new baby, sends Wednesday and Pugsley to camp, and attempts to seduce Uncle Fester.
Tagline: The family just got a little stranger.
First Viewing: Rented on VHS in the early 90's.
Added to the list: A.B.T.
Comments
I have recently discovered, much to my personal delight, that Addams Family Values is the first movie I ever saw in theatres...sort of. It's a sliver of a memory. I was at the theater with my dad. (I'm certain it was more his idea to see the movie than it was me.) We were about halfway through the movie when the projector broke and we walked out with a full refund.
Not the best story, I know. But little did me or my father know that AFV would one day be one of my favorite movies of all time. After moving to Oakesdale, I remember it being on TBS (or was it TNT?) a lot. It was a Thanksgiving standby that I looked forward to every year. With repeated viewings, I grew to love it, and thusly, added it to my list.
Really, what can you say about Addams Family Values? It's funny. No more, no less. It's not one of those comedy films that is trying to say something about American society (Borat, cough, cough) nor is it a movie trying to appeal to a specific demographic (Fanboys). AFV is just a really, really, really funny movie.
It's a sequel to 1991's aptly titled The Addams Family which was based on a 60's sitcom also called The Addams Family which was based on a single paneled comic strip in The New Yorker...also named The Addams Family. The family consists of patriarch Gomez, his wife Morticia, their children Wednesday and Pugsley, their grandmother (Grandmama), Uncle Fester, Cousin Itt, their butler Lurch, and dismembered hand, Thing. They are all obsessed with the macabre, which makes it prime entertainment for the early 90's.
In the first movie, the titular family is reunited with the long lost, brainwashed Uncle Fester. At least, that's what I recall. I've only seen the first movie a few times, and many years ago. Truthfully, the sequel is the superior film. I think this is the general consensus among movie watchers everywhere. I am not here to compare and contrast the two. I just wanted you all to know of this movie's back story.
Addams Family Values introduces several new characters, but most importantly, Baby Pubert, who serves a plot device and Debbie Jellinsky, the nanny who is hired to take care of said plot device. Debbie is a black widower who sets her sights on lonely, rich men, marries them, murders them, and runs off with their money. When Wednesday and Pugsley get wise to Debbie's game, she manipulates Gomez and Morticia into believing the kids want to go to summer camp, despite any protests they may voice.
Wednesday and Pugsley are sent to Camp Chippewa, a stereotypical summerland of fun for "privileged young adults". To say the least, the Addams kids don't fit in. The head counselors Gary Granger and Becky Martin-Granger and Wednesday's bunkmate, Amanda Buckman, make it particularly difficult. However, they find a friend in nebbish, nerdy Joel Glicker.
Meanwhile, back at the mansion, Debbie succeeds in making Uncle Fester fall in love with her. Gomez and Morticia also encourage the match. The two are married, and right on par, Debbie attempts to kill him on their Hawaiian honeymoon. But being fucking Uncle Fester, he survives when she throws an 80's boombox into his tub.
Debbie decides to use this to her advantage and enslaves Fester into a "sexual spell". He writes his family telling them he can never see them again. Gomez falls into depression. Baby Pubert becomes a golden locked angel. And Wednesday and Pugsley ruin Camp Chippewa's Thanksgiving play, A Turkey Named Brotherhood, before escaping to freedom.
After another thwarted murder attempt, Debbie somehow manages to hook the entire family up to electric chairs to kill them all simultaneously. While she shows them a slide show of her awful life and former husbands, some shit happens and Pubert saves the day. Debbie is dead, and the Addams resume their lives. Uncle Fester even meets a new gal, Dementia, who is bald just like him.
Like I said, not the most clever or original movie ever made. But it's funny. Most of the humor comes from the awesome one liners. And how! The entire script is made of one liners. Zing after zing after zing. It gets to be predictable after awhile, but you don't care, because you are laughing so hard.
Here are some of my personal favorites (other than the one at the top):
Pugsley: What does chippewa mean? Gomez: It's an old Indian word. Wednesday: It means orphan.
Morticia: Wednesday's at that age when a young girl has only one thing on her mind. Amanda's Mom: Boys? Wednesday: Homicide.
Amanda: Is that your bathing suit? Wednesday: Is that your overbite?
Debbie: These Addams men, where do you find them? Morticia: It has to be damp.
[While reading The Cat in the Hat.] Morticia: I know it is wet, and the sun is not sunny. But we can have lots of good fun that is funny. [turns the page] Oh no. He lives.
I guess I wouldn't be me if I didn't discuss the romantic subplots within Addams Family Values. First there's Gomez and Morticia who are, as Joel puts it, "very involved with each other." Joel and Fester view them as sort of role models of the ideal romantic couple. Much of Fester's depression comes from not having a relationship just like his brothers.It's very rare in film when a positive, happy marriage is shown. So kudos, Addams Family Values, kudos.
Then there's Joel and Wednesday. Considering how it all turns out, (I won't spoil it for you), I think this is more a gag relationship to show Wednesday's dark character. In the series, Wednesday and Pugsley are children, but due to the actor's aging in the movies, there was a need for more mature plotlines. It's interesting to see how a character like Wednesday would fall in love for the first time, and who she would fall in love with. Overall, the romance in Addams Family Values is not remotely related to my liking it.
Addams Family Values is one of my favorite movies because it makes me laugh so damn much. Sometimes, that's all you need. I love the sarcasm. I love the silliness. Only watching it will do it justice. Only watching it will make you love it too
“Once there was the sun, bright and warm and wonderful. Now there's no more sun. Winter has killed everything. And although it's dark December, forever, I remember sun.”
- Thumbelina
Title:Thumbelina Genre: Animation Year: 1994 Rated: G
Starring Jodi Benson as Thumbelina Gary Imhoff as Prince Cornelius Gino Conforti as Jacquimo John Hurt as Mr. Mole
Plot: A tiny girl is captured by a toad and fights to find her way home and to her true love.
Tagline: Follow your heart and nothing is impossible.
First Viewing: In the theater, spring, 1994. Added to the list: After rewatching on Toon Disney in 2002 (9th grade).
Comments The other night, I found a review of Don Bluth's 1994 animated feature, Thumbelina. In it, the movie was torn to shreds as a piece of Disney thieving, saccharine shit. All possible redeeming qualities were either ignored or rebutted with convincing arguments. Note: This review was not written by some self promoted web geek who's top five movies include Citizen Kane, Casablanca, The Godfather, Lawrence of Arabia, and 2001: A Space Odyssey. This review was written by a woman my age, who was in the demographic Thumbelina was marketed to in 1994. Not even fond childhood memories saved this flick for her.
Surely, my opinion of the quality of this movie has faltered with time and education, but my love for it has not. And why? Truly, it is a piece of Disney thieving saccharine shit. So why in my Age of Cynicism is it possible for me to enjoy it? Well, let's analyze, shall we?
You might assume that I could pass it off as nostalgia. Like I've said, growing up with a bad movie is like a get out of jail free card when someone demands your reasoning for liking it. I did see this movie in theaters and loved it. Being a six year old girl, I loved all things princess and fairy and with the love songs and the magic, glavin! But after that initial first viewing, the home video was not purchased or rented or even watched at a friend's house. No, I didn't seen Thumbelina again until it was on Toon Disney in the summer of 2002. Nostalgia and curiosity got the better of me so I watched it. And I fell in love.
Okay...here's the sick part. I was fourteen. Fourteen. An age when I should have been going on dates and getting felt up during the latest Josh Hartnett movie. But, oh no, not me. I spent my evenings doing my homework while this crap played in the background...every damn night. (I alternated between this and Some Kind of Wonderful). At fourteen, my pessimistic side had yet to materialize so an external conflict romance written and produced for dullard children satisfied the unsexualized side of my romantic whims.
Thumbelina is based on the Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale by the same name. It is fleshed out a bit...Disneyfied (ahem, I mean, Bluthanized), if you will. It begins with a French swallow named Jaciquimo telling us a story of impossible romance with an impossible beginning. A lonely single woman longs for a child. She is given a magical seed by a good witch, which she plants. It grows into a flower and once it blooms, a tiny girl emerges. She is given the moniker Thumbelina, as she is, you know, no bigger than a thumb. (One wonders if she was in a different scale if her name would be Toesita or Weinerella (tee-hee)).
However, Thumbelina is dissatisfied with her size. Like all animated heroines, she longs for true love. But how can she find it if she's the only little person in the world? Thumbelina's only outlet is fiction, where fairies (who happen to be the right size) exist. But if this is a world where young, fully clothed, post pubertal miniature girls can grow from flowers, there has to be fairies, right?
As Thumbelina is singing to herself, Cornelius, the fairy prince, manages to fly by on his pet bumblebee and become entranced by her beautiful singing voice. It's basically love at first sight for both of them. There must be a lack of fairy chicks. After some mild flirtation (and an almost kiss) Cornelius takes her on a magical "A Whole New World"-esque journey across the French countryside. He serenades her with the best song in the movie, "Let Me Be Your Wings", while flying her over a glistening, mirror like pond and a huge pumpkin and through the glittering midnight sky. I warn you, viewing this scene might cause you to fall into a diabetic coma.
So after the romancing, Cornelius hears his parents summoning him, but he promises to return to Thumbelina in the morning after he breaks the news about his new, non-fairy girlfriend. He promises to not forget her and leaves...but not before failing at two more almost kisses. (That's right, two! How can you fail three times in seven minutes?)
So since our heroine has found her one true love in the first act, there has to be some conflict to keep them separated for 60 more minutes. This comes in the form of Mama Toad, the amphibious version of Charo. After hearing Thumbelina's gorgeous singing voice, Mama Toad's son, Grendel, has fallen in love with her. Mama Toad tries to convince Thumbelina to join the family singing group and to marry her son. Although Thumbelina is tempted by fame, she wants to return to her mother and Cornelius. The toads abandon her on a lily pad, meaning to return and force her to marry Grendel.
Cornelius fulfills his promise and returns for his lady fair. He discovers her kidnapping and goes on a quest to find her. Back on the lily pad, Thumbelina meets Jacquimo, an unhelpful sidekick who ranks right up there with Gurgi from The Black Cauldron and Jar Jar fucking Binks (No, I'm not kidding). This is the biggest and most irritating flaw in the whole movie. Instead of getting on the bird's back and flying back to her house, Thumbelina continues on foot while Jacquimo looks for Cornelius's home, the Veil of the Fairies. Jacquimo is convinced that "following your heart" is the quickest way home. Not flying. No, it's definitely not flying.
Both Cornelius and Grendel are on the hunt for Thumbelina, but she continues to walk at a glacial pace...in the wrong direction. She is commandeered by Mr. Beetle who, through forest gossip, heard about her voice and convinces her to sing at the Beetle Ball. However, her Elizabethan butterfly costume is removed and she is revealed to be an ugmo because she lacks feelers and wings.
Our heroine's confidence is shattered. Not to mention that she is lost in the middle of the woods as autumn turns to winter. But Jacquimo arrives and teaches an important lesson: if the man you love thinks you're beautiful, then no one else's opinion matters. But if he doesn't, you're fucked. Again, Captain Useless doesn't fly Thumbelina to her home, or steer her in the right direction. He keeps searching for the Veil of the Fairies. Winter comes rather quickly. (Wasn't it only yesterday the fairies were golding the leaves?) Thumbelina finds shelter in an old shoe while Cornelius ends up frozen in a pond and presumed dead.
Thumbelina is discovered by Mrs. Fieldmouse who brings her into her underground home and informs her of Cornelius's death. Thumbelina is distraught but owes a debt to Mrs. Fieldmouse and accompanies her on visit to Mr. Mole. While visiting him, Thumbelina discovers Jacquimo in his tunnel, unconscious and with a thorn in his wing. Despite her opposing cheeriness, Mr. Mole also has the hots for her and bribes Mrs. Fieldmouse to convince Thumbelina to marry him...which she does. Through song!
Later that night, Thumbelina sneaks into the tunnel and visits Jacquimo's corpse. But unfortunately for us, he's not dead and lectures her on giving up hope and settling for Mr. Mole. Thumbelina wants no more of his optimism, even though he flies off to look for the Veil of Fairies without letting her escape. Meanwhile a group of bugs find Cornelius and thaw him out on Thumbelina's wedding day. On the way down the aisle, she has visions of Cornelius singing the second reprise of "Let Me Be Your Wings" and cannot go through with it.
At that moment, Grendel storms in to capture Thumbelina. As does Cornelius to rescue her. And the beetle is also there. But in the confusion, Thumbelina manages to escape without seeing Cornelius. She climbs out of the underground lair just as Jacquimo comes to inform her he's found the Veil of the Fairies. She gets on his back (FINALLY) and flies with him. Jacquimo convinces her to sing and she awakens the Veil of the Fairies to spring. Even though she refused to marry someone she didn't love, Thumbelina's optimism is gone and knows Cornelius will not rise from the dead. However, he returns just in time to finish their duet. They kiss and Thumbelina is transformed into a fairy (sure, why the fuck not?) and they live happily ever after.
Let the defense begin. First of all, I love the music. The songs and score were written by Barry Manilow...which sounds like the punchline to a joke. I know that this type of music isn't everyone's cup of tea, but my favorite band is the Carpenters so...That and it's blatantly ripping off the Disney style. Despite my opinions, Mrs. Fieldmouse's song "Marry the Mole" won the Razzie for worst original song. Personally, I think the worst song is "The Beetle Ball" but whatever. I truly think "Let Me Be Your Wings" is one of the most beautiful songs ever written and I don't mind it's four reprises. Not. One. Bit.
Although it's beaten into your head that "you're sure to do impossible things if you follow your heart" this is not the theme. The theme is true love is irreplaceable and trying to replace it is futile. Let me explain. So up until she meets her prince, Thumbelina thinks there is no one else her size...which translates to "I'm going to die old and single just like my mother." When Cornelius shows up she finds in him the only person she could ever love. After she learns of his "death", she states "he was the only one--" and then is cut off by Mrs. Fieldmouse. She probably would have finished with "my size". But "the only one my size" translates to "the only one who could make my life complete." The size issue is just a physical embodiment of this point. You're true love might as well be the only one "your size". Marrying someone the "wrong size" (or of a different species like in this movie) is wrong.
That's another theme in Thumbelina. Don't settle. It may be practical for Thumbelina to marry a rich old mole if it's impossible for her to ever go back to her home. It's a dog eat dog world out there, and she can't rely on the good graces of woodland creatures forever. But she knows that marrying for money will never make her happy, only love will. That's why it's better to stay miserable and alone rather than replace the irreplaceable.
I know these possible deep meanings are covered up by the tried and true "love at first sight" and external conflicts of fairy tales. I doubt Don Bluth realized that these points could be made while this film was in production. And it's a stretch for me to make them in the first place. But these are themes I enjoy, and therefore go into my argument of why I like this movie. It's by no means in my Top Ten...or even my Top Fifty. But it goes on my list because it makes me recall the wide eyed optimism I had a mere seven years ago. Movies like Thumbelina remind me of how much easier life would be if it was a little more "Love Story" and a little less "Teardrops on My Guitar."
