Top 5 Simpsons Episodes of Season 3

Season 3 is when it starts to get good. Many Simpsons fans consider this season to be the best. I’m not one of them. I think the show continues to mature in later seasons. Wouldn’t that be kind of depressing if Season 3 was the end all and be all? Don’t get me wrong, I love these episodes. I spent my childhood watching these in syndication ad nauseum. I’m still not sick of ‘em. So, here is the long awaited list of my Top 5 Simpsons Episodes of Season 3.

Rank: 5

Episode: Radio Bart (3-13)

Synopsis: Bart uses a microphone to trick Springfield into thinking a little boy fell down a well, and then later falls down it himself.

Comments: So, Bart is kind of a little shit. If I ever reproduce, I pray that I'm not bestowed with a child like him. Of course, that would be just my luck. And hopefully years of watching The Simpsons would equip me for such an atrocity. Anyway, this is one of my favorite Bart episodes because it shows several sides of his personality, such as being a little shit...and being proud of it. I love when he's trapped in the well and he mourns never being able to "smoke a cigarette or shave a dirty word in his hair." So Bart isn't Timmy O'Toole and thank God because I wouldn't like him and I don't think America would have liked him either. Plus the plot is ironic and irony is always good.

Quote: "I called my good friend Sting. He said, "Krusty, when do you need me?" I said, "Thursday." He said, "I'm busy Thursday." I said, "What about Friday?" He said, "Friday's worse than Thursday. Then he said, "How about Saturday?" I said, "Fine." True story!" - Krusty the Klown.
Rank: 4

Episode: Homer Alone (3-15)

Synopsis: Marge goes a on a mini vacation alone, leaving Homer with Maggie and Bart and Lisa with Patty and Selma.

Comments: I like this episode for the same reasons The Empire Strikes Back and The Two Towers are my favorite movies of their respective trilogies: I like that the story is split into three mini stories. First we have Marge who is exhausted from her life as a housewife and she takes solo vacation. All of her scenes are of relaxing, drinking tequila, and watching Thelma & Louise. Homer is home alone with Maggie and struggles to take care of her. She even escapes looking for her mother. And finally, Bart and Lisa are trapped at Patty and Selma's and you know how I love anything Patty and Selma. This isn't an episode that will go on the inevitable, definitive Top 100 lists that will pop up all over the internet whenever the show is canceled. "Marge vs. the Monorail" it is not. But it's one of my favorites.

Quote: Bart: "I'm scared, Lisa."

Lisa: "You think you know fear? Well, I've seen 'em naked!"

Bart: "Waaaauuuuuugh!"

Rank: 3

Episode: Black Widower (3-21)

Synopsis: A seemingly redeemed Sideshow Bob gets out of jail and proposes to Selma, although Bart is still suspicious.

Comments: My reasons for putting this one at number 3, are the same for putting "Krusty Gets Busted" on my Top 5 Episodes of Season 1. They're both good mysteries. Sideshow Bob is awesome. And it's always cool when a ten year old boy can foil an "evil genius". (I put evil genius in quotation marks because Sideshow Bob has never successfully executed one of his diabolical schemes...at least in the 10 episodes he's been featured in). That, and I love Selma's desperation to get married and procreate. (I miss those days, although I'm glad she has Ling now.

Quote: "Tonight on MacGyver...MacGyver...MACGYVER." - T.V. Announcer.

Rank: 2

Episode: Bart the Lover (3-16)

Synopsis: To get back at Mrs. Krabappel, Bart answers her personal ad with a fictitious lover.

Comments: Again, here's Bart being a little shit. This time he's playing with the emotions of a fragile, lonely divorcee because she, took his yoyo and gives him a month of detention. Anyway, this episode is a little pedophiliac...and depressing. But I like Mrs. Krapabbel and knowing her future relationship with Skinner makes it a little more okay. It does get better for her. Bart's letters to her are very good for a fourth grader. P.S. I love the swear jar B story.

Quote: "Maybe it's the beer talking Marge but you got a butt that won't quit. They got those big chewy pretzels here merJanthfgrr five dollars??!!!? Get outta here..." - Homer's postcard to Marge.

Rank: 1

Episode: Colonel Homer (3-20)

Synopsis: After a fight with Marge, Homer meets a beautiful aspiring country singer who sets her sights on him.

Comments: What is it with me and the romance episodes? I'm a little ashamed. (In future posts, it only gets worse). Part of the entertainment comes from Homer's total ignorance/denial of sexy Lurleen's interest in him. As far as the ladies go, Homer is no prize pig so of course he would remain oblivious. Marge probably assumes that no other woman would ever want him since he is so...um...unique. But when another woman comes along, Marge is ill-prepared to deal with competition.  She fails to make Homer realize the danger of the situation and also threatens Lurleen by pettily introducing herself as "Mrs. Homer Simpson." Of course, Marge wins in the end and Homer relinquishes his title as Lurleen's manager. One of the sexiest scenes of the series occurs when Homer slowly undresses as Lurleen sings "Stand By Your Manager."  Also, I love the music. Sorry to take the suspense out of a future post, but "Bunk With Me Tonight" is my favorite original Simpsons song. But you'll have to wait for said post to read why.

Quote: Marge: "All our money's tied up in the woman. If she fails, we're broke. If she succeeds, I have no husband. I don't know what to root for."

Patty: "You don't?"

Top 5 Simpsons Episodes of Season 2

I have Season 2 of The Simpsons to thank for my obsession. My parents taped 8 of the first 10 episodes and I devoured them. Some of my earliest memories of life are of watching these tapes. I used to measure time in Simpsons episode. There was no “hour and a half,” there was only “three Simpsons”. Ironically, out of the 8 episodes I had, only one of them makes my list of Top 5 Simpsons Episodes of Season 2. There is a definite difference between the first half of the season and the second. Obviously, everything matures, the animation, the jokes, the stories. This was the season that started the Simpsons phenomenon that swept the early 90’s. Although the season is full of classic episodes, such as the first Halloween special and the one where Homer skateboards off Springfield Gorge (officially known as Bart the Daredevil), these are my personal favorites.

Rank: 5
Episode: Simpson and Delilah (Episode 2-2)
Synopsis: With the aide of a miracle hair growth formula, Homer begins a successful climb to the top of the corporate ladder at the power plant.

Commentary: This is the one episode from the octet of taped shows that makes my list. I like it because it has a beginning, middle, and end. It starts with Homer seeing a commercial for a hair growth product and leads him on a journey to the top of the corporate ladder, all thanks to his virile looks. This episode has one of the sweetest Homer/Marge moments in the history of the show. After Homer is demoted to his job as safety inspector and his hair falls out, he and Marge discuss the situation in bed. He voices his concerns about her not loving him anymore. Marge pulls him to her and begins singing “You Are So Beautiful to Me” in her raspy, off key voice and it convinces him entirely. I realize this makes me a cornball, but I’m prepared to live with that.

Quote: “Let the fools have their tar-tar sauce.” – Mr. Burns

Rank: 4
Episode: The Way We Was (Episode 2-12)
Synopsis: When the T.V. breaks, Marge and Homer tell the kids the story of how they met and fell in love in high school.

Commentary: I have a soft spot for the flashback episodes. Just to warn you, many of them make my Top 5 lists, so how could I not include the one that started it all? For a long while, this episode was my official Best Simpsons Episode Ever, but this was mostly because of a sentimental attachment related to a boy I used to like. But that’s a different story…any who, I love The Way We Was simply because it shows the origins of characters that I love. How exactly did a boob like Homer get a foxy chick like Marge? Watch this episode and all will be revealed. Jon Lovitz guest stars as Artie Ziff, the uber-confident debate nerd with “busy hands” and becomes and instant classic. This episode also has a great soundtrack, including 70’s favorites “The Streak,” “The Hustle”, and Marge and Homer’s wedding song, (as shown in The Simpsons Movie) “Close to You.” (Yep…for all you head scratchers wondering why in the hell The Carpenters made it on to The Simpsons Movie soundtrack, that’s why!)

Quote: [After Homer leaves the Bouvier house and Arnie shows up] “Now that that unpleasantness is behind us forever, let’s take a picture of the happy couple.” - Selma

Rank: 3
Episode: Brush With Greatness (Episode 2-18)
Synopsis: Marge rediscovers her talent for painting and is hired to paint a flattering portrait of Mr. Burns, something that proves to be more difficult than she originally thought.

Commentary: This one’s a bit of an enigma to me. I like this episode and yet, I can’t really put my finger on why. Perhaps it’s because of Ringo Starr’s gracious cameo. It’s hilarious to me that Marge would have a crush on the “geekiest” Beatle. Her crush is very sweetly portrayed with her paintings of Ringo. I especially like the one of him with his shirt off.

Jon Lovitz also appears again as the wonderfully upbeat Professor Lombard0. The “B” story is Homer trying to lose weight, which may seem a little predictable, but it is handled realistically. (Well, as realistically as The Simpsons handles anything). I also admire how the whole family supports Marge with her gift. It seems rare when Marge is encouraged with anything. Overall, it’s a strong “family episode.”

Quote: “Gear!” – Ringo Starr

Rank: 2
Episode: Principal Charming (Episode 2-14)
Synopsis: While trying to set Selma up with Principal Skinner, Homer mistakes her for Patty and inadvertently makes the wrong match.

Commentary: I really like Patty and Selma…especially the early Patty and Selma, when the former was sexually ambiguous, the latter was tragically single and suffering from a never ending case of baby fever and when both were still hot for MacGyver. This is the very first episode to feature the spinster Bouvier sisters as main characters instead of Homer’s annoying sisters-in-law. In all actuality, this is one of the most depressing episodes ever. Being an only child, I can’t possibly imagine a sister being wooed by my only chance for love, but that’s exactly what happens in this episode. Tragic. After all, Selma isn’t all bad…just because she hates Homer and we happen to love him shouldn’t mean that she should die alone. Of course, we all know that in the future she marries several times and adopts a Chinese baby…but back in 1991, who knew how things would pan out? And how about Patty? She actually seemed interested in Skinner…sort of. But in the end, she decides to throw away her last chance for happiness because of her bond with Selma.

Quote: Selma: “Bart, come cheer up your Aunt Selma. What did you learn in school today?”
Bart: “Principal Skinner’s going to ask Aunt Patty to marry him.”
Selma: “Thanks, kid. You made my day.”


Rank: 1
Episode: Lisa’s Substitute (Episode 2-19)
Synopsis: Lisa gets her first crush on her charismatic and tender substitute teacher.

Commentary: As I wrote before, I love Lisa episodes and this is, by far, hands down the Best Lisa Episode Ever. I’ve heard several times that this is actually Yeardley Smith’s favorite episode, which probably gives you a good indication of how fucking great it is. It’s a widely known “fact” in pop culture psychology that girls often seek men that remind them of their fathers. But Lisa steers clear of this cliché and becomes smitten with her sensitive substitute teacher, Mr. Bergstrom (voiced by Dustin Hoffman). Even though Lisa thinks she’s “in love” with Mr. Bergstrom, in truth, she really shares things with him (such as a love of literature and an appreciation of knowledge) that she wishes she could share with Homer. Thus, Mr. Bergstrom becomes everything she wants in a father…maybe even her substitute father? (Those writers are so clever!) In the end, Mr. Bergstrom must leave and Lisa is forced to return to her humdrum life and her insensitive, baboon of a father. In one of the sweetest moments of the show (yes, I know I write about the sweet moments a lot), Homer explains he doesn’t know how it feels to lose someone special, because everyone he cares about is under his roof. And once again, all’s well that ends well in Springfield. I am certain that when all is said and done and The Simpsons reaches its season finale and hundreds of nerds begin to make their official Best Simpsons Episodes list, this one will be a staple on every single one.

Quote: “So, if you don’t mind, I’ll just run along side the train as it speeds you from my life.” – Lisa

The Simpsons: Season 1 Ranking

Since the age of three, The Simpsons have been in my life. My parents were never the sheltering kind and believed that exposing me to several different (perhaps "inappropriate") forms of media, would keep me from rebelling as a teenager and turning into a drug addicted stripper/prostitute showcased in Lifetime's Movie of the Week. It worked. I can safely say that I am a sober, well adjusted college student who spends her free time writing blogs on various forms of entertainment instead of shooting up. So, for my first post, I have decided to rank my Season 1 of The Simpsons.

Like most television series, Season 1 is often different in style and mood from its later seasons. The Simpsons is no exception. Definitely a pilot season, these episodes aren't quite as funny as later on in the series' run. None the less, Season 1 has its gems, which I will describe in excruciating she-nerd detail.

Here we go... 


13. Homer's Odyssey
12. There's No Disgrace Like Home
11. The Telltale Head
10. Bart the Genius
9. Call of The Simpsons
8. Homer's Night Out
7. Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire
6. Some Enchanted Evening

Rank: 5

Episode: Moaning Lisa (1-6)
Synopsis: Suffering from a case of the blues, Lisa struggles with her day to day life which is only lightened when she meets soulful jazz musician Bleeding Gums Murphy.

Commentary: I love Lisa episodes. I have always associated with Lisa the most of all the Simpsons characters. This is quite odd because I'm not like her at all. I'm not a book worm or a do-gooder or a vegetarian, but for some reason Lisa's episodes always manage to speak to me more than Bart, Homer, and even Marge episodes. It's probably just because I'm a girl. That being said, Moaning Lisa is the only Lisa episode of Season 1, and definitely the most morose. An eight-year-old with depression? Unfortunately, it's probably more common than we wish to admit. But in 1990, in an animated show, I think it was rather brave to show this kind of an issue involving a little girl. Granted, Lisa is mature beyond her years so I suppose it makes sense for her to be aware of the "suffering in the world" and fully grasp it. Sorry to get so philosophical, but the seriousness of this episode sets it apart from the others. The message of the story is that it's okay to be sad once in a while and it helps to have people there who understand.

Favorite Quote: Marge: "Lisa, get away from that jazz man!" [to Bleeding Gums] "Nothing personal, I just fear the unfamiliar."

Rank: 4
Episode: Bart the General (1-5)
Synopsis: With the help of his grandpa, his schoolmates and a specialist in warfare, Bart rises against the school bully.


Comments: Bart the General is very, very much a guy episode. Bullies. War. Training montages. Various references to 1970's Best Picture Winner Patton. My reasons for ranking this episode so high elude me. I suppose I like it because it shows Bart as a protector. The reason why he gets into so much trouble with Nelson (in his first appearance) is for defending Lisa. I like episodes where Bart and Lisa get along. They're very sweet, and I am fond of sweet. I also like that Bart is shown as an underdog other than the usual 1990's smartass answer to Dennis the Menace. He actually cries in this episode, which I don't believe happens after the second season. Bart the General is a true underdog story, but one that requires the help of others.

Favorite Quote: "Contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners; only losers. There are no good wars, with following acceptions: the American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars trilogy. If you'd like to learn more about war, there's lots of books in your local library, many of them with cool gory pictures. Well, good night, everybody. Peace, man." - Bart

Rank: 3
Episode: The Crepes of Wrath (1-11)
Synopsis: After getting on the last nerve of Homer and Principal Skinner, Bart is sent to France via a student exchange program where he is treated as a slave to two wine-making brothers.

Comments:Woo-hoo, another Bart episode! In this one, Bart is back to his normal bad boy self. However, instead of the usual episodes where he gets away with murder, he is actually punished, all though indirectly. Why do I like this one so much? It's not because of the schmaltz. (Bart cries again because of an emotional letter from home). But simply because the French brothers, Cesar and Ugolin are a stereotypical hoot. Only on The Simpsons would violation of child labor laws be humorous. But can you really say that Bart didn't deserve it? I mean, as much as I love him, he is kind of a little shit. His trip to France turns out to be an educational experience that, at least for the time being, makes him realize how lucky he is to have his crazy family.

Favorite Quote: Bart: "Hey, come on you guys, quit being so grabby."

Cesar and Ugolin: "ARGHH!"

Rank: 2
Episode: Krusty Gets Busted (1-12)
Synopsis: After Krusty the Klown is accused of robbing the Kwik-E-Mart, Bart and Lisa set out to prove his innocence.

Comments: I want everyone who sets their eyes on this blog to know that I hate clowns. They are creepy and cause unnecessary terror for children and adults. However, for some unknown reason, Krusty has never bothered me. He's not my favorite character, mind you, but I have always been fond of him. Maybe it's because he has vices and doesn't try to uphold an image of perfection. My affection for Krusty is not the reason for putting this episode in my top 5. I love it because it is a very clever mystery story and is only solved because of the loyalty of Bart, who refuses to believe that his hero is guilty of armed robbery. With the help of Lisa, the siblings use their knowledge of Krusty to help solve the mystery. The clown's pacemaker, illiteracy, and small feet eventually prove that a jealous Sideshow Bob framed Krusty to take over his after school show and turn it into a "Cavalcade of Whimsy" where the children are exposed to readings of The Man in the Iron Mask. Of course, all wrongs are righted in the end and Sideshow Bob is sent to prison and instantly becomes a reoccuring character in the Simpsons universe.

Favorite Quote: Apu: "Hey, hey, this is not a lending library! If you're not going to buy that thing, put it down or I'll blow your heads off!"

Rank: 1
Episode: Life On the Fast Lane (1-9)
Synopsis: Marge takes up bowling lessons with a handsome teacher after Homer selfishly bestows her with a bowling ball for her birthday. 


Comments: Here it is. My favorite Simpsons episode from Season 1. I am not alone in my favoritism. This episode actually won the Emmy for "Outstanding Animated Program." I truly believe that this is the best episode of the season. All Simpsons fans know how rocky Marge and Homer's marriage is and usually, as seen in later seasons, it is Homer's fault. This episode starts out no different, but eventually Marge, the rock and ever loyal and righteous half of the partnership actually considers having an affair with the suave, charming, and attentive Jacques. There are several touching moments in the episode, such as when Homer discovers the personalized bowling glove that Jacques gives to Marge and the moment when he tells her how much he loves her perfect peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We also see Bart and Lisa's reaction to their mother's possible affair. It's a surprisingly deep and touching story for a shown most known for slapstick humor and "Ay Carumba!" It's episodes like this that make me love the Simpsons. Emotion and humor can work together, and often create something not easily forgotten.

Favorite Quote: Jacques: "To the greatest moment in life, better than the deed, better than the memory...the moment of anticipation."