Taylor Swift Videography: Speak Now (2010)

Only four short years and here we are in the modern era of Taylor videoum. I will say this, I'm quite pleased with staticism. There hasn't been a lot of change, has there? She started with cinematic videos that, even if they didn't have a story, at least they made sense. Luckily, she hasn't gone off the deep end and I'm glad. And no crappy footage videos...yet. Keep up the good work, Taylor!

Order: 16

Title: "Mine"

Album: Speak Now (2010)

Song Premise: A formerly cautious girl looks back on her relationship.

Video Premise: Taylor enters a diner, sees a fighting couple and remembers her parents fighting. A cute waiter takes her order. They are immediately attracted to one another so a relationship begins. After a few dates, he proposes. But uh oh, there's trouble in paradise and Taylor and Waiterboy are fighting too! But they make up and we are treated to scenes of their wedding and life with two sons.

Comments: I wasn't really impressed with the lead single off of Speak Now. It's still not my favorite, but the video is good. Perfect representation of the song.

Order: 17

Title: "Back to December"

Album: Speak Now (2010)

Song Premise: Taylor regrets dumping her boyfriend after seeing him again.

Video Premise: Taylor writes a letter as snow falls around her inside her house. Meanwhile, her ex boyfriend walks away.

Comments: This is definitely the most arty of Taylor's videos. Sometimes, I'm a fan of concept vs. a story, and I think this one works pretty well. We already saw "flashbacks to happier times" in the "Tim McGraw" and "White Horse" videos. This is in the moment which is ironic because the song is about reminiscing.

Order: 18

Title: "Mean"

Album: Speak Now (2010)

Song Premise: People are mean to Taylor :-(

Video Premise: Taylor plays a banjo on stage. Then she is kidnapped by some vagrants who tie her to a railroad track. A boy is bullied for having a fashion magazine. A girl is teased for working at a fast food restaurant. Another girl has to eat alone in the bathroom. Go back to Taylor being a star in a fancy dress on a fancy stage. Yay Taylor!

Comments: Oh, is this song juvenile! Every time I hear it I'm amazed. Grown ups don't call people "mean", grown ups call people assholes or cunts. Shut up, Jordyn, you'll never have a number one hit. Okay..."Mean". Once again, the video fits. People are mean to people, but it's okay. They'll overcome it one day. Taylor did.


I can't help but compare this video to Pink's "Fuckin' Perfect". Watch that one and you'll see what I mean.

Order: 19

Title: "The Story of Us"

Album: Speak Now (2010)

Song Premise: Taylor meets her ex in a crowded place and wonders what he thinks about it.

Video Premise: In a crowded library, Taylor notices her ex and tries to study. Eventually everyone in the room throws up their books and goes crazy. Taylor and the guy walk towards each other but then part their separate ways.

Comments: Story. Books. Library. Get it? Yes, it make perfect sense. Yay! And I love that they don't reconcile! Our little Taylor is growing up.

Order: 20

Title: "Sparks Fly"

Album: Speak Now (2010)

Song Premise: Taylor likes a bad boy...but it's okay. :-)

Video Premise: Concert footage from the Speak Now tour.

Comments: Well, I spoke too soon about the concert footage videos...but this one isn't bad. Seriously. Although I will never ever go to a Taylor Swift concert, this video makes them look fucking Theatrical, capital T. Sets, costumes, fireworks, rain. I bet you'd get your money's worth.

Order: 21

Title: "Ours"

Album: Speak Now: Deluxe Edition (2010)

Song Premise: Being in love is great, isn't it?

Video Premise: Taylor hates Mondays :-( but her Army (?) boyfriend makes everything okay.

Comments: Meh. It's just hard to picture Taylor as a normal girl in a normal work environment. And Christ, I am getting sick of all this electronic product placement in music videos. Popstars are shills. Also, why is her boyfriend in the Army? Like, what does that have to do with anything? Meh.

Videography: Taylor Swift (Part II - Fearless)

Part II in Taylor Swift's Videography, here we have the videos of the pop/country juggernaut Fearless. Witness the evolution that lead to Kanye West throwing a bitch fit at the VMA's.

Order: 8

Title: "Change"

Album: Fearless (2008)

Song Premise: A girl refuses to give up on her dreams because she is certain things will change for the better. P.S. Taylor believes in you!

Video Premise: Taylor sings in front of a band.

Comments: Sigh...by now you know how I feel about videos that just don't try. Why not show some examples of underdogs fightin' the good fight and coming through in the end? Just a suggestion.

Order: 9

Title: "Love Story"

Album: Fearless (2008)

Song Premise: A teenage boy and girl meet and fall in love even though daddy originally objects to the pairing.

Video Premise: On a contemporary college campus, Taylor sees a guy who catches her eye. Then we switch to the mis-matched eras ball where "Juliet" and "Romeo" (for they are not the real ones given the ending) meet, fall in love, and starting sneaking out to meet one another. Eventually "Romeo" and "Juliet" meet in a meadow, apparently having overcome their great obstacle. Then we switch back to present where Taylor and "Romeo" 2.0 hook up.

Comments: Over all, I like this one. It's a fluffy video for a fluffy song. You can't really ask for much more. Although the costumes...pick a fucking era. She was "Rococo" and he was "Regency"...grrr.

Order: 10

Title: "White Horse"

Album: Fearless (2008)

Song Premise: After the ending of her relationship, a girl realizes she wasn’t living a fairy tale romance and will find someone far better than the guy she held in such high regard.

Video Premise: It starts with a guy asking Taylor if she loves him and if he can have another chance. We then drift into happy moments of the couple together, playing cards and cuddling. Then Taylor talks to her friend in a cafe about how great this dude is. But THERE'S SOMETHING SHE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT HIM! So Taylor goes to his house and sees there's another woman whom he's married to or at least living with. We go back to the beginning where the guy asks the questions. "Yeah" and "No" are her answers.

Comments: All right, now we're in business! A story! Not the story I imagined with this song, but still a story that works and works well! Love the mini-movieness. Wish there were more like this one.

Order: 11

Title: "Crazier"

Album: Hannah Montana: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (2009)

Song Premise: Basic love song. Boy drives girl crazy in the good way.

Video Premise: Taylor plays on stage while clips from Hannah Montana: The Movie are shown.

Comments: It's promotional. Probably everything it should be.

Order: 12

Title: "The Best Day"

Album: Fearless (2008)

Song Premise: Taylor writes an ode to her mother and the support she was given throughout her life.

Video Premise: Pertinent home videos edited together.

Comments: Yeah it fits. Do I like it? No. It's about as fun as watching someone's home videos.

Order: 13

Title: "You Belong With Me"

Album: Fearless (2008)

Song Premise: A girl in love with the boy next door pleads for him to understand that he belongs with her and not his stereotypical bitch girlfriend.

Video Premise: Taylor live next door to a boy who's fighting with his girlfriend. They communicate through the window by writing on notepads. Taylor wants to confess her love but instead dances around in front of her mirror. The boy spies on her and laughs. The next day, Taylor and boy are talking when his evil brunette cheerleader girlfriend comes and takes him away. Later at the football game, boy scores a touch down but evil brunette girlfriend is flirting with another guy! Finally, at the dance, Taylor arrives sans glasses and scraggly hair in white dress. Boy dumps evil brunette girlfriend, shows Taylor his own "I love you" note and the two kiss.

Comments: Do you know how much I hate myself for loving this video? A lot. A whole hell of a lot. Thank God this video didn't come out when I was in high school or else I'd be all the more fucked up. In fact, I worry about the effect this video had on adolescents. It's like raw cookie dough: oh so bad for you but too good to never eat again. Yeah, the ending with "I love you" notes is damn retarded, but if you look past it, you have one of the best mini-movie music videos ever. Fuck you, Kanye. This totally deserved to win.

Order: 14

Title: "Fifteen"

Album: Fearless (2008)

Song Premise: Nineteen year old Taylor offers advice on life as a fifteen year old.

Video Premise: Taylor walks through an animated world of trees and high school. She meets her real life best friend, Abigail, who rejects a handsy boy in his car but then "gives everything to him" and she and Taylor cry about it.

Comments: Well, meh. Props to using the real Abigail although I'm not sure what she thinks about Taylor singing about her regretted virginity loss. And one thing that's always bothered me: most people are fourteen when they start their freshman year.

Order: 15

Title: "Fearless"

Album: Fearless (2008)

Song Premise: Taylor is happy to be in love

Video Premise: Footage from the Fearless Tour.

Comments: Is it just me or do these footage videos of fans seem a little narcissistic? 

Videography: Taylor Swift (Part I - Taylor Swift)

Welcome to another edition of Videography! This time we're exploring the music videos of country princess Taylor Swift. Like Reba, Taylor is known for her music videos along with her musical abilities. Let's take a look at how she started...

Order: 1

Title: "Tim McGraw"

Album: Taylor Swift (2006)

Song Premise: A girl reminisces about a summer love who has left for college and wants him to think of her when he hears her favorite Tim McGraw song.

Video Premise: A boy (later named Johnny) is driving his Chevy when he stops to have a listen to a song. He remembers his summer with Taylor as they stargazed in the back of his pick up and kissed in a field. He drives back to his house to see a letter waiting for him.

Comments: I always wanted this. When I was in high school, boy oh boy, was back-roading and stargazing the epitome of romance. So when this video came out in the summer that was, ahem, supposed to be like that for me, I was a tad bit bitter. In fact, I couldn't bring myself to watch the "Tim McGraw" video until...a few minutes ago. My take? It's a good song to video transfer.

Order: 2

Title: "Teardrops On My Guitar"

Album: Taylor Swift (2006)

Song Premise: A girl secretly loves her friend Drew who talks to her about another girl.

Video Premise: Drew asks Taylor if she's going to "the game" later. She thinks it's a date but he really just wants to talk about this new girl he's met. Drew and Taylor get in trouble for laughing too loud in the library. Then she has an accident in chemistry when he distracts her. Finally, she sees him kissing another girl in the hallway.

Comments: Now this was more like my high school experience. What can I say? I love this video. It fits the song. It takes relatively inane experiences like talking in the library and chemistry class and making them special. Also props for having Drew hook up with that girl (who I'm sure is perfectly lovely). The song possesses an ambiguous ending as does the video. Way to go, Taylor.

Order: 3

Title: "Our Song"

Album: Taylor Swift (2006)

Song Premise: When a girl claims she and her boyfriend have no song, he says it’s the various sounds of summer.

Video Premise: Taylor talks on the phone, paints her nails, wears a pretty dress and sings.

Comments: All right, I know the song is similar in theme to the summertime shenanigans of "Tim McGraw" and that she had just done two literal translation story videos. But come on! This is just boring.

Order: 4

Title: "I'm Only Me When I'm With You"

Album: Taylor Swift (2006)

Song Premise: A girl only feels at ease with one of her guy friends who may be more than that.

Video Premise: Footage from Taylor's life and her tour.

Comments: Sure. Okay. Next please.

Order: 5

Title: "Picture to Burn"

Album: Taylor Swift (2006)

Song Premise: A girl is through with her cheating boyfriend and

Video Premise: Taylor and a friend spy on her ex-boyfriend as he parks with his new girlfriend. She fantasizes about a group of secret service type men destroying her ex's house.

Comments: No complaints. Fits the video. Not my favorite though.

Order: 6

Title: "Should've Said No"

Album: Taylor Swift (2006)

Song Premise: A girl reprimands her boyfriend for cheating on her.

Video Premise: Taylor plays the song on an acoustic guitar while sitting on a stool in jeans and a sweatshirt. The song gets fast, her clothes are torn away revealing a black dress. Taylor finishes the song under a rain machine.

Comments: Granted, this isn't technically a video. It was live performance at the CMA's or AMC's or something and then made into a video. Oh boy, Taylor live is off key and hard to watch. Yeesh. How did this video make it into rotation?

Order: 7

Title: "Beautiful Eyes"

Album: Beautiful Eyes (2008)

Song Premise: A girl loves a guy with beautiful eyes.

Video Premise: More footage ala "I'm Only Me When I'm With You", but this is from her 18th birthday party. Taylor gets her make up and hair done, she drives a pink truck and hugs other country stars.

Comments: It's from an EP. I don't expect much, so I won't judge this one too harshly. Easy to make and easy promotion.

Videography: Lady Gaga (Part III - Born This Way)

By 2011, Lady Gaga had reached full-fledged super star status. The world waited with bated breath for the release of her second full length album, Born This Way and the videos that would accompany it. Gaga gets a little more out there with this crop of videos that are still a-comin'...

Order: 11

Title: "Born This Way"

Album: Born This Way (2011)

Song Premise: Lady Gaga celebrates her weirdness and is unapologetic about it.

Video Premise: It would almost be easier just to tell you to watch the video rather than summarize, but here we go: Gaga narrates about a race of unprejudice aliens and then gives birth which also, somehow, creates evil. Then there's a bunch of choreography in various settings with various people and various costuming. Sigh...just watch the video.

Comments: Oh boy. It's confusing and out there and this one was made for those who love Gaga and think everything she makes it gold. I'm not really a fan of the song and even less of a fan of this bloated,  confusing video. If it weren't for the next couple songs, I would think she had lost it completely...

Order: 12

Title: "Judas"

Album: Born This Way (2011)

Song Premise: A woman struggles between her love for Judas and Jesus.

Video Premise: Jesus and his Apostles are a motorcycle gang. They arrive a church where Gaga, as Mary Magdalene, dances and tries to warn Jesus of Judas's impending betrayal. Gaga tries to shoot Judas, but cannot bring herself to do it. Gaga begs for forgiveness which Jesus grants her and is then kissed. The video ends with Gaga being stoned to death.

Comments: This is a little more like it. I know nothing about religion, but even I could follow this one. I love the concept of Jesus & the Apostles as a motorcycle gang. Now that is clever. I know the meaning of the song is "I'm torn between the good guy and the bad boy" but I don't know how accurate Mary Magdalene being in love with Judas (or anyone for that matter) is.

Order: 13

Title: "The Edge of Glory"

Album: Born This Way (2011)

Song Premise: A woman invites a man to spend an amazing night with her.

Video Premise: Lady Gaga dance around an alleyway while a dude plays the sax.

Comments: Bummer. Such an epic song and such a let down of a video. Reportedly, this is a song written after the death of Gaga's grandfather, but WHY did this video have to suck?

Order: 14

Title: "Yoü and I"

Album: Born This Way (2011)

Song Premise: A woman returns to get her lover back.

Video Premise: It begins with Gaga walking through America's heartland. She orders an ice cream cone from a creepy guy in a truck, and then comes must intercutting: Gaga and a guy getting married. Gaga being tortured with electricity. Gaga dancing with a teal wig. Gaga as a mermaid who has sex with her captor. And finally, Gaga playing a piano in the middle of a cornfield with her male alter ego Joe Calderone...who she later makes out with.

Comments: Annnnnnnd she's back. While the video is abstract, representing the torture one faces when returning to an old love, it's fucking great and everything we would expect from Gaga at the top of her game. And mermaid sex is hot. Just sayin'.

Videography: Britney Spears (Part VIII - Femme Fatale)

Nowadays, Britney is doing good. Femme Fatale, her seventh and latest studio album, was released earlier this year in March. The lead single, "Hold It Against Me" went Number 1 (her fourth single to do so). Even as Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, Katy Perry and country crossover princess Taylor Swift bring new life to mainstream pop music, Britney still manages to hold her own. 

Order: 33

Title: "Hold it Against Me"

Album: Femme Fatale (2011)

Song Premise: A woman, through double entendres, suggests she and guy hook up at the club.

Video Premise: The video begins with a meteorite heading towards Earth. Inside it, Britney sings in front of a circle of cameras, lights, and TV's playing her older music videos. Then, dressed in a white dress, Britney sprays paint through her fingers at the TV's and fights herself.

Comments: After a year without a new Britney video, I was eagerly awaiting this one. Plus, it was directed by long time Lady Gaga collaborator Jonas Åkerland. I hoped it wouldn't be a direct Gaga rip-off and it wasn't, but it just didn't feel Britney if you ask me. It's simply too "out there".

Order: 34

Title: "Till the World Ends"

Album: Femme Fatale (2011)

Song Premise: A pro dance song.

Video Premise: On September 21, 2012, Britney and her friends go underground and dance as the apocalypse happens above. Come the morning, Britney sticks her head out of the manhole and realizes they have survived.

Comments: I liked this one because it was literal translation of the song. It's reminiscent of "I'm a Slave 4 U" what with all the sweaty youth in a cramped quarters, but whatever.

Order: 35

Title: "I Wanna Go"

Album: Femme Fatale (2011)

Song Premise: This girl just wants to have fun.

Video Premise: The video begins with Britney at a press conference being asked ridiculous questions. Fed up, she leaves and runs amok in the city streets by flashing several people. She is frisked by a policeman, fights robotic paparazzi and escapes in a convertible.

Comments: This is Britney's most comic video yet. Well, it's more amusing than "funny". Still likable, though.

Order: 36

Title: "Criminal"

Album: Femme Fatale (2011)

Song Premise: Britney loves a bad boy...but it's okay :-)

Video Premise: Britney is at a fancy party with her douchebag, philandering British boyfriend. He beats her up after she gives him attitude, but she is rescued by a dashing criminal. She takes off with him on the back of his motorcycle. After having some sexy sex, the pair go on a crime spree ala Bonnie & Clyde. Later the police shootout their house while the couple makes out and they escape. Sequel?

Comments: This is a great video. In fact, maybe one of her best. I, naturally, am a huge fan of these movie-esque videos as of late. They even have titles and credits now! Boy oh, boy! The video fits the song and does it in a sort of classy, romantic way showing the good side (and only the good side) of loving a bad boy. Also, that kissing scene during the shootout? Win.