They say movies are a terrible way to spend a date with someone you've just met. Experts suggest activities like mini-golf or hiking, that way you can have fun and talk about your interests and values. Sure. That makes sense. But high schoolers don't give a shit about all that. High schoolers are nervous and tongue-tied and want to make it through the night with their egos intact or they want something they can make out all the way through without distraction.
The Fog (2005)
I have been on approximately 3.5 movie dates. Two (Bolt and Quantum of Solace) were with my second boyfriend after we were already Facebook Official...so no "wooing" was involved. The 0.5 was Speed Racer, which I went to with a guy who I thought maybe kinda liked me because he asked me and only me to go see Speed Racer. I wore my glasses. He ended up dating my best friend for 8 months.
But back in high school, I went on my first "movie date". Technically, it was a Homecoming date. Remember the Homecoming King I was in love with? Well, he took it upon himself to find me a date since me going with him was simply inconceivable. He hooked me up with Johnny, (yes, that's really his name) a nice underclassmen who I was sort of friends with. Johnny and I tripled with two other actual, serious couples. The plan was to go to Spokane, see a movie, get some food, come back to Oakesdale and split into pairs.
The movie we saw was The Fog, a remake of a 1980 John Carpenter horror flick I had never heard of. The plot, which I paid no attention to at the time, is as follows: In 1871, a group of lepers, lead by Captain William Blake (Rade Sherbedgia), mean to purchase half of the Oregonian island of Antonio Bay to use as a colony. However, when the islanders come aboard the Elizabeth Dane to complete the sale, they instead loot the ship and set it on fire, killing everyone aboard. Fast forward to 2005: Nick Castle (Tom Welling) runs a fishing charter company/tourism business when his girlfriend Elizabeth Williams (Maggie Grace) returns to Antonio Bay. Soon after her arrival, a statue honoring the four founding fathers is erected which leads to a series of grisly deaths. But no one seems to suspect The Fog.
It's a stupid horror movie. I remember thinking that the one and only time I saw it. But there was something so comforting I found in its prosaic predictability; I was a teenager on a date, seeing a horror movie! This was one of those Rite of Passage moments! It was almost as if I was normal! Heh, heh, heh. Johnny pretty much ignored me the whole time. By the time we got to the dance, I discovered he had just started dating another girl the night before WHICH NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL ME EVEN THOUGH EVERYONE KNEW. I immediately apologized to his girlfriend and told her, had I known, I would never have gone with him. She was pretty nice about it and we laughed at the turn of events.
Anyway, The Fog. Yeah. Don't really have much to say about it. Personally, I think my date makes a better movie. Ha. Also, Tom Welling is hot.
You're welcome, ladies.
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