When one reaches that age when alcohol is either legally or freely available and the novelty of having said alcohol has warn off, there are ways to make life more fun. If you're normal, you might go to a club and try to buy some sweet ass hunny a drank. Or if you're particularly "athletic" you might try Beer Pong. But, if you like to sit on your ass and watch movies, boy oh boy, do I have a way to pass the time!
I've played several movie drinking games in my day, but none compares to when my friend Amanda and I watched Austin Powers one lackluster summer day. I had just left from training for my new job at Macy's, when I saw the liquor store and decided to pop in for a cheap bottle of cherry rum. When I returned to my apartment, I talked Amanda into playing a drinking game because why the hell not? It was summer and neither of us had to work until 6 a.m. We chose Austin Powers simply because it was a comedy we both enjoyed.
Back in 1967, British hipster secret agent Austin Powers (Mike Meyers) is cryogenically frozen so he can one day stop the megalomaniac Dr. Evil (also Mike Meyers) from taking over the world. Thirty years later, Dr. Evil unfreezes himself to do exactly that and Austin is reawakened as well. But the agent finds the 90's to be a very confusing time so Vanessa Kensington (Elizabeth Hurley), the daughter of his former co-agent, is assigned to ease him into the decade of the Macarena and Jerry Maguire references.
The Rules
Drink every time...
- Austin says "Yeah, Baby!" "Shag" "Groovy" "Behave" or "Honestly, it's not mine."
- Dr. Evil does the pinky maneuver.
- There's a psychedelic musical transition.
- Dr. Evil says "Shhh".
- Frau yells.
- Slang is used referring to genitalia or breasts. (i.e. "bits n' pieces" and "machine gun jubblies")
- Vanessa looks disgusted by Austin.
In short, we got fucked up. And you will too if you play this game. Might I suggest a weaker alcoholic beverage? Cherry rum + Diet Coke Lime = Danger, danger, Will Robinson! Please, for the sake of your liver, go with beer.
If Austin Powers isn't your bag, baby, don't worry, any film can have a drinking game. It's usually good to go with something upbeat. One can imagine how fun the Precious drinking game would be! And you want to limit yourself to no more than ten rules, otherwise you forget them and you waste a perfectly good opportunity to drink!
2 comments:
Precious game is as follows:
Drink every time:
- A situation occurs that would be considered racist if directed by a white dude
- Someone in the audience does a Buffalo Bill impression to attempt to lighten the mood
- You want to die because you're watching Precious
You think you're being clever, but this going to happen.
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