Just like that "good movie" we hate, we all have that "bad movie" we love. But with most "bad movies" you will find a small cult following of people who love Freddy Got Fingered just as much as you do. You lucky son of a bitch. I have yet to find a cult for my favorite bad movie.
If you are my friend, you have watched this movie. If you aren't my friend yet, you will watch this movie. This is the price of my friendship: an hour and forty minutes of your time watching this craptacular made-for-TV movie based on the ever popular Archie Comics.
It's fifteen years since the gang graduated from high school. In the days that follow his reunion, Archie Andrews (Christopher Rich) plans on leaving quaint little Riverdale to be a big shot lawyer in The City. Archie's best pal Jughead Jones (Sam Whipple) is a divorced and neurotic psychiatrist. Sweet girl next door Betty Cooper (Lauren Holly) is a grade school teacher with a tool boyfriend and sexy Veronica Lodge (Karen Kopins), four times divorced, plans on finally bagging Archie. And that sneaky Reggie Mantle (Gary Kroeger) is in cahoots with Mr. Lodge to shut down Pop Tate's Choklit Shoppe! The gang must band together one last time to save their beloved hang out from a hostile takeover!
If you don't like Archie Comics, there is nothing in this movie for you. Nothing but some cheap laughs over the lingering 80's-ness of the whole thing and the horrid comedy tropes of the decade. It's not really a movie for kids, but more of a nostalgia fest for thirty-somethings who read Archie when it was more relevant. The Archie universe is such a clean and wholesome place, but this movie brings in some much needed maturity. There's sex (or sensuality), cussing, divorce...that's about it. No one is on drugs or gay or anything else that's in this awesome fan video:
Still, I love Archie and I love this movie. Sometimes there's just no accounting for taste.
Note: Archie Return to Riverdale (known as Archie To Riverdale and Back Again during its original NBC airing) has not seen a U.S. DVD release. A VHS version became available in the mid-90's and is can be purchased on the Archie Comics website. However, there is a French dubbed version in Region 1. Go figure.